Do one thing every day that makes you happy.
The true definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Albert Einstein said that apparently and he was a clever bloke, not that I knew him personally of course, but how powerful is this image;
I ended yesterdays workshop with that quote about madness, it came to me because prior to logging on mom and I had what can only be described as a very emotional hour, I'd walked the dog and walked into hell again, but I couldn't spend an entire day in that atmosphere, I know she doesn't know she's behaving a certain way sometimes, I know it's the Alzheimer's but it's just so uncomfortable. I decided I'd make her talk instead of sit there sulking and yes there were a lot of tears but there was also communication. See the thing is mom hasn't completely been take by the dementia, she's still in there and in her times of clarity you can't even begin to imagine how she must be feeling, which is why I needed her to talk not just sulk and shout. It was extremely difficult conversation at times, she considers suicide to escape what's happening to her (I'm going to call her dementia nurse tomorrow to ask about medication or help with this), but then we made breakthroughs too as she told me she used to be able to pass the time watching tv but now she can't follow any story lines at all because within minutes she doesn't know who anyone is, no wonder she sits there and suddenly gets annoyed, it must be so frustrating for her. Add to that the dreams she has which feel like reality, it must be exhausting for her. Yes, there were lots of tears but at the end of it there was nothing but evidence of the love between us. Instead of watching tv yesterday we started a jigsaw, my sister sat with her whilst I worked and I could hear them chatting away downstairs. What started as a dreadful day ended up good, she even watched some episodes of Our Family and laughed through them and was happy to go to bed. That day could've turned out so differently, I'm so glad we talked and made changes. Here's to looking at things differently as and when necessary.
I'm looking forward to this weeks virtual workshop topic, Spring into Summer, I already know it's going to me as well as our members, this looks fab to and with the rain outside, I think I'd rather be on a virtual tour of Prague - you'll find the link in the Experiences at Home Connect group on WW app, enjoy if you go and if you're coming to see me and Amy first, we're on at 10 in the Stafford Group, so you'll have plenty of time to grab a cuppa in between.
Oh so back to that quote, what are you doing over and over again hoping for a different result? What do you need to change or start, or accept? I accepted a long time ago, I can't be a 100% perfect WWer all the time and since I did that I don't beat myself up on my bad days which means I get back to my good days sooner and feeling better. I started my yoga realising I needed a form of exercise which wasn't going to hurt my body like I have done with other exercise in the past. Oh and I've realised going at all of it like a bull at a gate has never worked for me long term, hence me now working on building one healthy habit at a time, changing my behaviours over time rather than waking up on a Monday and stating 'I'm on a Diet and I'm going to do it 100% and get to goal by Friday!'
Today I plan to enjoy my workshop, I'm going to go and clean the kitchen beforehand though. Then I'm planning on a stir fry for lunch, looking forward to that, might even do a little video depending on moms mood. Then mom and I can do some jigsaw, I better get ordering another one, they're fab, I'd bought large pieces ones which are easier for her to see and at 500 pieces it's just big enough not to be too difficult. I finished my crochet project yesterday so need to decide on my next one, I think I'll go look at which of my yarn I fancy using and then choose the pattern. But looking at Alfie lying on his chair and the weather out of the window I can't see us going very far. I will get dressed though, I'm going to go jump in the shower, get dressed and make me a cuppa, enjoy it whilst sitting with mom for half hour before tackling the washing up.
Here's to a delicious day!
Mwah, luv ya
Love me x