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Tuesday, 23 June 2020

Breathe in - Breathe out

Tuesday 23rd June 2020
Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them.
Well yesterday started well, zero scrambled eggs on a slice of toast and a walk with my bestie.  I also called and left a message for the dementia nurse after moms before last week, with the hope they could give me some advice.  

Then it all went tits up!  First the stuff I could do something about, turns out I'd left my freezer door a little open and stuff had started to defrost - BOO!  2 slices of my sisters home made cheese and onion pie defrosted - oh ma'an and I'd planned a really good on track day.  Plus all the bread slices and breakfast muffins from the top tray, guess what I'm having for breakfast today!  This kind of drama doesn't bother me if I'm truly honest, it's a little annoying because I don't like waste but hey it's just stuff.

Sadly around 4 mom suddenly turned, but this time I couldn't get her better, I couldn't talk her round, 3 hours followed of her wanting to go home, insisting on going outside to look at her house 'next door'.  She became extremely aggressive, I had to call my sister round because she was having none of it, she wanted her daughter not me!  

Will you come with me to my house? This is our house mom. But how do we get in it? We are in it mom, this is our living room.
So if I go upstairs that will be my bedroom?
Yes it is.
Can I go upstairs to look?
Of course you can mom, we can do anything that helps.
I can't get up these stairs, they're too difficult.
Can I got and have a look at it from the outside.

this continued for what felt like hours, it was probably an hour, I suggested I took lots of photos of her bedroom so she could see it was hers, that helped a little. In the end I managed to get her to take her tablets in the hope they'd calm her down and suggested we went and sat in her bedroom together. She said it was too early to go to bed but I said we're not going to sleep we're just going to relax in your room.

When I finally got to bed I was emotionally exhausted. The nurse did call me back, in the middle of moms outburst when my sister was there, we've got an emergency appointment for tomorrow afternoon, I'm just hoping I can get mom in the car! I can't imagine how my mom must be feeling, her poor brain must hurt, so much confusion but still being lucid at times.

I'm afraid I ate the cheese pie, I also drank wine in bed, I will try to do better today. At least I've ordered salad in my delivery so I can eat healthier.

Let's hope she has a better day today, she's just getting up now, so fingers crossed.

I'm looking forward to working this morning, a bit of normality!

Hope to see some of you at 8.30 for our virtual workshop (Wolverhampton group) links on the WW app.

I'm off to make a healthy breakfast, I will not be defeated, going to bed emotionally drained does not mean I don't wake up ready for another day. I've done my yoga, drunk my water and now I'm off to find me an apple!

Mwah, luv you

Love me xx

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