Beverley has prepared the content of Bev's World irresponsibly and carelessly. She therefore disclaims all warranties, express or implied, as to the accuracy, originality or completeness of the drivel presented on this blog or on other linked websites or on any subsequent links. She vehemently denies that the information may be relied upon for any reason. Beverley shall not be liable for inflicting laughter, shame, disgust, torrents of tears and the eventual desiccation or crashing boredom on readers.

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Tuesday, 13 April 2021

Here's to a terrific Tuesday

Tuesday 13th April 2021
Surround yourself with people who get it!

Meat free Monday went well until about 8ish when I got peckish and had a fancying for the tub of grey peas in the freezer, so Alfie and I shared them, they were delicious though, he enjoyed his so much he's slept on his bed in the living ever since, didn't even follow me up to bed last night bless him.  He's a sad little boy somedays at the moment, he's grieving too isn't he, he confused all of a sudden mom's not here and there are no biscuits, he's probably having sugar withdrawal!

The rest of my meals looked like this, all very simple yesterday; 

mushrooms on toast for breakfast and banana and melon with natural yogurt.  327 calories.

egg whites and cress with light salad cream sandwich, 194 calories 

424 calories of a tasty ready meal but way too many calories for the portion size, 
it needed more cauliflower to bulk it out.

no one needed to see a photo of the grey peas, but it was a small tub and I did share lol, then there was wine too, I've honestly tracked and I'm still under 2000 calories, I'm happy with that.  Let's not forget, my mom's only been gone 3 weeks, my life is completely different, I sort of feel like I'm on my holiday, so I'm doing a lot of chilling and catching up on movies I wasn't allowed to watch.  I'm a bit like a kid who's been left home alone.  I know I have loads of housework and stuff to do but I keep putting it off with the excuse, until the spare room is plastered, the inbuilt wardrobe/cupboard is fitted and there's a carpet on the floor there's no point even trying with my bedroom and office because I need to move stuff into the spare room.  Then same in the living room, until I can finish stripping the walls and get those walls sorted, probably plastered too, and my alcove units built, i can't really do much in here either.  I did do a little sorting in my office yesterday though and through some stuff away, so I've made a start, maybe I'll do half hour here and there.

I'll never be a domestic goddess so my plan is to declutter and minimalise as much as I possibly can and then have enough storage to hide the stuff I have to keep in buckets where I can just chuck stuff in and shut the door.  I'll always be a bit of a tramp, my brother Terry calls me Stig of the dump!  I resemble that remark :) 

I did do some work yesterday honest, I faught with the printer to print stuff for our new venture, grr to the printer not talking to the laptop and playing me up, then I fell out with Alexa as I am doing again now - she keeps playing Radio 2 funky instead of BBC Radio 2, then when I get her to understand she says it's not available at the moment, or she starts playing it then ten minutes later it just stops playing.  She's just done it again, so I told her to shut up and remembered I can listen to the radio via the tele, so we're doing that now.  Seriously technology in the house lately is not my friend.

Life is good though, I'm so looking forward to our new venture, not long now before we can all be in a room together, lot's of printouts done now.  Eek, exciting isn't it, I've wanted to do this for over a decade and to be doing it with Elle makes it even better.  

Well I've eaten so much watermelon this week, I'm over it for now, won't be buying another one for a while, it's too bloody cold to eat it too, sets my teeth on edge it does.  I even gave my sister a tub full yesterday, there's a lot of watermelon in a whole one you know, just saying. 

What shall I eat today?  I've got Marlies coming for the weekend, so will be enjoying good, home cooked from scratch meals, that's my chicken intake for the week, I'm have a fish dish today, freezers got plenty to choose from.  Marlies is delivering both sides of Wolverhampton this week if anyone fancies giving her meals a go and normally wouldn't be in her delivery area. 

I went to the post office yesterday in the car, took Alfie, trying to get him used to the car and being left in it whilst I go in shops, we then went for a little walk round Essington when I realised I'd left my phone at home and guess what - I didn't care, I didn't have detatchment issues, I was quite happy to have half hour without it.  That's new for me, not having my own phone at the minute with all those apps is doing me good I think, showing me I can live without them, having said that, I do miss my audible when I'm walking Alfie, I like to listen to my books. 

Right, time to get on with my day, it's still dark outside, it's only half five in the morning, I'm sleeping well though, falling asleep in my chair usually around nine, half nine, so I go to bed and I got up about an hour ago, so that's a good 7 hours, only woke once in the night, soon went back to sleep!

Here's to a tremendous Tuesday, 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Monday, 12 April 2021

Here's to a shiny happy Monday!

Monday 12th April 2021
Monday's are just mini new years!

It's a bit nippy this morning, just been up the garden with Alfie, I have to police the garden now in case the foxes are out when he goes up there!  My fox this year has a junk food issue, maccy d wrappers everywhere the other day, pizza slice buried yesterday in the new bloody hole they've started digging, I've filled that one back in, they're not having a tunnel going all the way under my summer house and coming out the other side, I draw the line.  Mainly because Alfie could get stuck in that one, he can't get down the side of the summerhouse so that holes not an issue.  

tut tut!

I seemed busy yesterday doing this and that, it was 2pm before I even realised, Alfie and I enjoyed a couple of walks, he meandered round the park, said hello to lots of his dog pals, he was a happy little lad and he slept like a log as did I.

Food wise, I enjoyed this packet of smoked salmon £2 for 100g and it did my breakfast and tea, 
For breakfast I had it with scrambled egg in taco shells, it was delicious, 400 calories.  I've had those shells for months in my bread bin now, just looked on my blog and January 3rd was the last time I ate tacos!  On further checking the packet was opened in September 2020 - wow who knew they'd still taste the same as they did back then, makes you wonder what's in them doesn't it!  I've just looked and the only ingredients are Corn Flour, High Oleic Sunflower Oil (27%), good to know they keep though as I really like them but never want to eat the whole packet.

Because I'd let time get away with me, it was past dinner time when I thought about food, by then I was hungry, I remembered I had some peppered steaks Bonnie has treated me too, but I'm not a fan of peppercorn so I scrapped the coating off and fried it for Alfie and I to share, I was just gonna throw it on a sandwich with a large mushroom fried, but then made myself add salad to bulk it up, glad i did, good to know I'm eating better.  The steak was delicious, 450 calories total, I'll balance that red meat out today with something healthier, ooh I could do meat free Monday, does meat free mean fish free too?  

My tea was this lovely plate of food using the rest of the salmon, some low fat salad cream and I do love an olive. 335 calories.

I did eat a packet of cheese and onion crisps, there's one bag left, then that's them gone and they won't be replaced.

Listening to Radio 2, it's the day the country opens back up a little more isn't it, just looked on the bbc and this is what we can do as of today:

What are the rules in England? Stage two (from 12 April):

More businesses will open, but indoor settings should be visited alone, or with household groups. Outside, six people or two households can meet.

All shops allowed to open
Hairdressers, beauty salons and other close-contact services can open
Restaurants and pubs allowed to serve food and alcohol to customers sitting outdoors
Gyms and spas can reopen, as can zoos, theme parks, libraries and community centres
Members of the same household can take a holiday in England in self-contained accommodation
Non-essential journeys between England and Wales are allowed
Weddings - up to 15 people
Funerals - up to 30 people, with 15 at wakes
Children will be able to attend any indoor children's activity
Care home visitors will increase to two per resident
Driving lessons can resume, with driving tests restarting on 22 April

What you planning on doing?  I'm in no rush, I'll let everyone else go shopping and I'll skip the gym, happy walking Alfie for now.  Mom's being cremated on Thursday and I'm relieved that we don't have to go through with a service, I can just have some time alone to think about her like I do most days anyway, maybe it should be the day we eat biscuits lol.  Nah, this house is a biscuit free zone now.

I've got stuff to do today, getting our future sorted, mine and Elle's that is, back to work from today with UW, time to start again, so if you want an appointment give me a shout, let me save you some money, I love my cashback card and how it brings my bill down every more, I love having one bill rather than 4 even more, it really helps my finances.  I shall mostly be printing stuff out today for our other venture and sorting out public liability insurance, it's all getting real, roll on the next stage of coming out of lockdown, that's the one we're looking forward too, it'll be all systems go then for us and Be Happy Owls Huddles will be a reality - cannot wait!  If you want to know more, feel free to message me. 

It's trying to snow out there, so I'm feeling another cuppa, what shall I eat today, I like the idea of meat free monday, maybe eggs on toast for breakfast, cauliflower cheese for dinner and I've got some veggie finger things in the freezer, they'll be tasty. Ooo I'm excited to eat now, I've just found this website www.meatfreemondays.com might try one of their recipes next Monday and do it again.  

Golden Syrup Broccoli Noodles - Meat Free Monday (meatfreemondays.com) sounds nice and Julie B posted on facebook tins of Banana Blossom which I'd never heard of but here's a recipe for them too Banana Blossom 'Fishless' Potato Cakes - Meat Free Monday (meatfreemondays.com) 

Right I'm off or I'll have another day that disappears in front of me! 

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x 

  • Sunday, 11 April 2021

    BeYOUtiful x

    Sunday 11th April 2021
    What other people think of you, is none of your business. 

    One of my favourite sayings is above, I used to say it a lot to people in my meetings when they were stressing about their size and / or how the looked!  Often they were more concerned with what others thought than how they thought about themselves. I got it, I'd been there!  In my teens I never felt like I fitted in, then in my 20's I constantly cared what others thought, I spent hours at the gym alongside eating fresh air trying to get the perfect body.  Then I hit my 30's and it took a few more years and a lot of reading before I decided to be myself completely.  Turned out people quite liked me, well some did, some didn't and that was okay too.  We're all a bit complex aren't we!

    I've just read something that made me smile and I wanted to share, here's the truth "Nobody's thinking about you!"  Yep, true story, we all spend our twenties and thirties trying so hard to be perfect, because we're so worried about what others think of us, then by our forties and fifties, we decide we don't really care what anyone things about us.  It's when we reach our sixties and seventies, when you finally realise the truth and that is that nobody was every thinking about you, nope they were too busy thinking about themselves!  Let's be honest no one has got the time to care about what you're up to, or how you're  getting on because they're wrapped up in their own chaos, and even if the do occassionally think about you, it will only be briefly, they'll soon go back to their own mess.  Isn't it great to realise you can be yourself and stop putting on a front, work on becoming your own best friend, love and treat yourself as you would your very best friend.  You sure deserve the same level of love and attention you give to others.

    Hopefully you're blessed to have amazing people in your life like I have, I can't believe how many I'm blessed to know especially as I can be hard work, I know I can, I can go from being completely socialable to not wanting to see anyone at all, I used to go somewhere every weekend and have days out, then I'd spend months cocooned up at home alone.  Obviously I've not had a choice for the last few years so now I'm readjusting to my new norm and even that's being affected by Covid still, I couldn't have a houseful of people if I wanted to, but I honestly don't know if I'd want to yet.

    I'm just working on me for me, going easy on myself whilst I do it and doing my best to take care of myself.  I didn't do too badly at that yesterday, Alfie and I had a couple of walks, got wet on the second one and a little impatient with him as my washing was on the line, but I soon decided, does it really matter, I'll just get it in and dry it on airers.  

    Foodwise, I enjoyed bubble and squeak for breakfast - 331 calories, I froze the other have from the pan; 

    It was tasty, I added a couple of slices of bacon to the pan which added an extra layer of flavour. 

    Later on I enjoyed this plate for 500 calories, well the food on the plate not the plate itself, I've not gone that random!

    The fish strips were good, not overly curry flavoured though and this salad dressing spray is really good too.  I've had it in the fridge a long time, it still tastes okay to me. 

    It all went a bit tits up later, I had wine and then I found the leftover gravy in the fridge and had a couple of slices of bread and spread dunked in it, at least they were small slices from a 400g loaf! 

    Had a lovely catch up yesterday on zoom, saw a few people in person too which is nice even if it's cold out there and bloody hell is it cold out there at the minute!  A very lovely lady dropped me some coathangers round so I can try and organise my chaos a little, I can't believe I've not got enough coat hangers, they're usually everywhere.  That can be today's task, hanging it all up.  

    I froze my leftover mash after being told it would be okay to, better than having to eat the same food the next day, I wanted a salad.  What to eat today?  I'll have brunch later I think with my packet of smoked salmon maybe with eggs, I'll see.  I fancy rice later, so possibly a curry, again because everything in the house now is pretty healthy as long as it's in moderation, I don't have to decide till I'm hungry. 

    Anyways, I'm walking with my bro this morning I think, so I better get myself dressed, although my phone is saying snow for the next couple of hours, it's not happening yet thankfully.

    Here's to a slow Sunday, 

    Mwah, luv ya 

    Love me x

    Saturday, 10 April 2021

    Here's to the future!

    Saturday 10th April 2021
    Invest in yourself, it pays the best interest.
    I had very much a day doing what I wanted yesterday, I can now can't I, I plan to do something for me again today, but this image below was obviously put together by someone who could, I know for so many including myself prior to mom dying, it's not quite that easy is it!

    I did always manage to put myself on my to-do list though, even if I still let other things slide like my health and wellbeing.  I'm working towards getting that back under control though and I'm going to do it on a budget because my finances like so many over the last year have changed.  

    This was my breakfast yesterday, the last two bacon medallions with a large mushroom, tomato, spinach, scrambled eggs on toast 366 calories, that kept me going till my dinner. 

    Which came in quite high at 747 calories, but look at that joy on a plate - oh and that included the calories for the skin I'd already eaten before the gravy touched the plate 😋 you can't beat a chicken thigh for taste or cost!

    I did have a packet of twiglets but like I've said once these few packets have gone, I won't be replacing them, I can't eat what isn't in the house.  I did enjoy some watermelon too, it's great having some cut up in the fridge and it took me minutes to do, £2.90 for a huge watermelon which was loads cheaper than buying it already cut up, having said that if buying it ready cut is the only way you're going to eat fruit, it's worth it. 

    My wine intake still needs work but I'm not beating myself up over something I really enjoy, once I'm back working, it'll decrease naturally because I'll have to get up the next morning and work in the early evenings, roll on May when Boris lets things start happening again.  Monday is a good start though isn't it, April 12th, all the shops allowed to open - woo hoooooo.

    I had an hour with Elle on zoom yesterday catching up and planning our future, it's warmer doing it that way than sitting in the garden, I don't think I like or miss anyone enough to want to sit outside to see them in this weather lol.  I'm on another catch up zoom this morning with some Happy Owls and then I've got the rest of the day from lunchtime to do what I want.  

    I love seeing people filling in the Be Happy Owls journal, can't wait until we can all get together and start our own huddles, we're nearly able too, the time will fly by and soon we'll all be able to see each other and have a good old natter, as a couple of owls said to me yesterday when we were chatting out the front, it takes time to build a relationship with someone, and they didn't want anyone else supporting them on their journey other than me, I was touched by those words.  So many owls have said similar, so hopefully Elle and I have a future, all be it a different kind of one but I honestly believe it will be a better one, we're all about community, people need people.  We're gonna be a grown up youth club, sounds good yeah, trust me, it will be. 

    Back to today though, I'm not going to do anything to strenuous because of my shoulder, although I might get my yoga mat out and do a session to relieve shoulder and back pain, found one yesterday with Adriene.  

    I've got leftover mash, sprouts and carrots so I'm thinking bubble and squeak, then with the other mash (the spuds needed using up before they run out the kitchen) I'm gonna make fishcakes I reckon, I have tinned tuna or I could use some of the fish in the freezer.  It'll all get used anyway, then I won't eat mash for a bit, need some balance don't I.  I'll be eating freezer and cupboard food over the next week mainly, i do have salad in the fridge too.  Aren't we all lucky to have food and a roof over our head.

    I tried to not put the heating on yesterday, but I've got that used to this house being like an oven that I'm really feeling the cold, I gave in on the afternoon and clicked it on but only at 18 degrees which is a good 10 degrees lower than mom had it.  She'd have been laughing at me, sitting there shivering!

    Here's to a lovely day, forecast wasn't great again, but I don't think we're due any rain today which is a bonus.  Oh I feel like a proper grown up, thinking can I dry a load of washing if I do it.  I started sorting my clothes yesterday, a lovely lady gave me some clothes and I ran out of coathangers!  That's never happened in my life, how can I not have coathangers, I'm gonna have to get my iron out too I reckon, it's not seen the light of day in over a year, but if I'm gonna be going back to work I'm going to have to get changed out of my scruffs at some point. 

    I might leave it till Monday and enjoy a quiet, lazy weekend, I've not had many of them in the last few years! 

    Whatever your weekend plans are, enjoy them.

    Mwah, luv ya 

    Love me.

    Friday, 9 April 2021

    It's Friyay!

    Friday 9th April 2021
    How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.
    Good morning!  I've just been up the garden with Alfie and I'm sure I could hear baby foxes softly yapping under the summerhouse, that's my first smile moment of the day.  My second was reading a post my bestie had tagged me in about the menopause - yeah it's just confirmed it's all to blame for me gaining stones tee hee!  No it isn't completely to blame of course but it isn't helping, it did confirm that calorie counting is definitely the way forward for me as I know exactly what's going in and whether I'm creating that calorie deficit, time to recharge my fitbit so I know how many calories I'm burning.  Of course it also matters what I spend my calories on, lean protein, fibre, more healthy foods and some niceness, not all niceness and no goodness.

    This meal took 20 minutes yesterday to knock together and that was just popping the salmon in the oven and leaving it, then simmering the noodles for 4 minutes the peas went in the microwave because they were a last minute addition as I'd burned my roasted brocolli so there wasn't enough doh, but next time I'd add both brocolli and peas to the same water as the noodles for the 4 minutes.  I put light soy sauce on the noodles and salmon and a sprinkling of sesame seeds - it was delicious!

    I went a little carb crazy at tea time, saw a photo of a jacket spud on Facebook and wanted one, ended up having 2 frozen ones topped with too much butter and a bit of cheese - this is why i don't eat jacket potatoes, I won't be buying any more of them, not sure if theres any left in the freezer though.  I filled a drawer in my freezer yesterday with the Co-op £5 freezer deal, such a bargain, worth double that and will do me a few meals and a little treat if I have any visitors, I can keep that in the freezer and not be tempted by ice cream that has chocolate in it - yak. 

    Walked Alfie yesterday with my sister and had a catch up, chatted with Mark when he dropped off a phone for me to use whilst mines being fixed, then Terry called from Corfu, was nice being able to not worry about being on the phone and not upsetting mom because of it.  I like this living on my own and not being answerable to anyone, not gonna lie.

    Also saw a few Happy Owls, we're all ready to sort ourselves out and lose our lockdown lard!  The trick is to not go at it like a bull at a gate and change everything overnight and do 1000 low calorie diet, it's much more realistic to expect ups and downs, not so good, good and even better days.  The trick is to make the most of the good and even better days and on the not so good or downright dreadful days, do what you can and get back to good days as soon as possible.  Like yesterday, I ended on over 2000 calories, but I still tracked them and I'm ready for a healthy breakfast again today - oh and I still can't make decent poached eggs!

    In my Be Happy Owls journal (available for £3 plus P&P) btw is a self care challenge, I'm doing that this month, today's self care might be a bath later or, ha what am I going on about, everything I'm planning to do today is selfcare because I've accepted I need to stop and breathe, so I plan to cook me some healthy meals, walk my dog, watch some tv, I can't crochet because of my shoulder so I'm going to look at some exercises to stretch it out maybe.  

    Found this on Pinterest with a few more self care suggestions; 

    Also found this on Pinterest this morning and liked it; 

    Love this too, 

    Ooo I do love a bit of pinterest, but for now I'm going to say Happy Friday, make it a good one and I'll catch you tomorrow. 

    Mwah, luv ya 

    Love me xx

    Thursday, 8 April 2021

    Feeling better already

    Thursday 8th April 2021
    Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone.

    A good day again yesterday, tracker journal filled in (£3 plus p&p) if you want one or you can collect it of course.  Anyway 3 meals, I enjoyed 2 bacon medallions, tinned toms and toast for breakfast, I had delicious home made cheese and potato pie with curry beanz for lunch and some crackers with parma ham, salad cream and cucumber with a few olives for tea, then a bag of twiglets (only 99 calories).  I did partake of some wine but I've weighed this morning and I'm 3lb lighter than I was yesterday, I've been weighing daily because my app suggested it but also because I was curious and the daily fluctuations of the body.  Also they don't cause me to have a meltdown when they go up, which they have done, they went down a pound, then up a pound, stayed the same but this morning down 3lb so it will be interesting to see what they say tomorrow morning. 

    Why do the scales fluctuate so much?  Water retention, sodium intake, menstrual cycle, what you've eaten and drunk, your body weight can fluctuate 2-4 pounds a day just from water. Drinking water will add weight to you but losing water weight through sweating is just as easy.

    Putting too much emphasis on scales alone is unhealthy as they don't tell the whole story, how many drug haddled skinny folk do you see walking the streets, they're thin but they sure won't be healthy!  Don’t let your weight define you!  Remeber there are also other ways to log your healthy, remember scales alone won't make you happy! 

    You're BeYOUtiful, you're amazing, you're a one off and you are loved - you are not a number or a statistic.  Start by asking yourself is: Why is the number you see or the number you've chosen as your  important to you? Is there other ways of measuring your success in addition to those scales?

    Could you take some photos and repeat that monthly to track your progress?  Sometimes you tone up and it's easier to see in your reflection than on those scales, especially if you're active.  

    Are you setting goals that aren’t just weight orientated, physically you could set yourself goals that are based on strength and endurance. Depending on your physical ability, set yourself achievable goals. This could be anything from doing a daily walk, a plank challenge to completing a half marathon. Once you achieve that goal you can then set new ones as you become stronger. You will certainly lose some fat along the way!

    Question yourself?  Why, what are the emotional benefits of exercise.  How do you feel? Are you feeling yay or are you feeling blah? You can also look at external indicators: How are your jeans fitting? Do you now need to buy better fitted clothes?  Remember our clothes should fit us not us fit them!  

    Take measurements too, I've dont that, If you really like the numbers, work on these too, get a tape measure, do your waist, hips, arms, thighs etc. 

    There's more to healthy and happy than that single number on a set of scales, how you feel is to me the most important result to be working on, eating healthier, moving a little more, taking control of your life, all these things make me feel better, I'm guessing they will you too.  

    It's more than just a numbers game but obviously we all know, ultimately if we're overweight and uncomfortable, we need to take those numbers into consideration.

    Next question is which diet to follow?  I keep saying it - they all work, you just have to follow them, actually you can just eat a little less or a little differently and move a little more and that will work too.  We all (well mostly) know what's good for us and how to lose some weight.  If you fancy trying calorie counting you can get that info for free BMI calculator | Check your BMI - NHS | Your BMI result (www.nhs.uk) you can work out your allowance on the NHS website, and there are different apps, MyFitnessPal is free, Nutracheck has a free triall then it's £29.99 for the year, I'm playing with Noom because I got 90% discount but at £55 with the discount it's still expensive (I'm hoping to use the info I pick up to share with others.  I actually searched the internet yesterday, I just typed in 'calories in potatoes' to find my totals yesterday, most things have calories on the packaging which really helps and the supermarket websites have them on the product pages.  

    This morning I'm going to enjoy eggs on toast for breakfast, will add tomatoes or spinach to get a veg in there.  You'll be impressed to know I bought a whole watermelon and cut it up as soon as it arrived to stop it from threatening me all week then walking out the kitchen, well the last one slid out!

    For my main meal which I have at lunchtime, I'm thinking fish of some sort, I migh check if I have those noodles and do the salmon dish I blogged yesterday.  I've got yogurt and fruit to snack on but it's still too blooming cold to enjoy it.

    I got to see a few of my favourite Owls yesterday, my old helpers which was lovely and I'm getting to see more over the next few days, it's easing me back into society and reminding me how to socialise!  I've almost forgotten because I've spent so much time at home over the last year with mom.  Oh I've finally had her enter my dreams the last few days, that's quite nice, I don't want her out of my head completely do I.

    Right I think that's enough for today, here's to getting some work done today, I need to do laptop stuff but it hurts my shoulder which is weird because it hurts it more doing this than it did stripping some wallpaper yesterday - aren't bodies strange things, it isn't hurting as much which is great. 

    Here's to a very, good day.

    Mwah, luv ya 

    Love me 

    Wednesday, 7 April 2021

    Adjusting to my new life

    Wednesday 7th April 2021
    Life goes on....

    Well I picked that image before it snowed yesterday :) but according to the weatherman that artic wind won't be around today, although it's still blinking cold!  Big thick coat and a pair of gloves and Alfie and I still enjoyed our walk. 

    It was good to see some of my Owls yesterday, even it was only briefly, that's probably better to be honest as it's getting me back into society a little at a time, I've been without company for so long, i've forgotten how to socialise for sure.  

    I had a mom wobble last night though, shed a few tears before bed, I'm not sad if that makes sense, well I guess I am when I think about the pain she suffered and that she's gone, I don't miss that version, but I do miss my mom, I've been missing her for years now.  I think I'm probably hormonal too, oh isn't it wonderful being a middle aged, menopausal mess lol.  Grief is just something you have to experience and it's something you have to do alone, yes friends can be there to listen but eventually I'll come to my own peace in my own time.  It's all a process, I actually get angry that I don't miss her enough because I'm relieved she's gone because of the pain she was in and the pain she was causing me.  Isn't the human brain a crazy mix of chaos!  What I am enjoying is not having to plan anything, not having to be anywhere at any particular time, I love doing what I want, when I want.   I appreciate that will change when I start working again, but for now, it's lovely. 

    In other news, I did my first day on track, no photos because I've broken my camera on my phone, it's got to be sent for fixing and yesterday I was reminded quite a few times how much we use them.  I couldn't even barcode scan anything so I went old school in my Be Happy Owls journal I've had printed, now have I got a photo already taken anywhere cos I can't take one, hold on....

    I wasn't really hungry in the morning but I made a tasty pasta dish with brocolli, peppers and sardines, I added a Aldi pasta sauce which was delicious and I even left some!  Now I had the sardines because I'm thinking nutrition, it's suggested to eat 2 portions of oily fish a week, so they're one and I like them, salmon could be another or pilchards.  I also like mackeral but it repeats on me, other examples are herrings, tuna (fresh not tinned), anchovies, fish roe, trout and kippers.  Why should we eat oily fish?  There's no better healthy boosting super protein out there!  The human body cannot produce omega-3 fatty acids, which makes these crucial fats an essential part of the diet.  

    What do you do with this fish?  Well easiest for me would be pilchards or sardines in tomato sauces on toast.  I adore trout and would enjoy that with potato and veggies or salmon is truly versatile, here's a salmon and noodles recipe for one cooked in the microwave pinched from the BBC website where you'll find lots of other ideas Quick and easy oily fish - BBC Food