Beverley has prepared the content of Bev's World irresponsibly and carelessly. She therefore disclaims all warranties, express or implied, as to the accuracy, originality or completeness of the drivel presented on this blog or on other linked websites or on any subsequent links. She vehemently denies that the information may be relied upon for any reason. Beverley shall not be liable for inflicting laughter, shame, disgust, torrents of tears and the eventual desiccation or crashing boredom on readers.

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Saturday, 25 January 2020

You don't get thin overnight!

Saturday 25th January 2020
Self care is how you take your power back.

It's going to be a great day!  Don't forget to say it, I've got a morning of members to look forward to seeing, then I'm not sure what the day holds, I do know at some point this weekend, housework needs to be done.  I will be making the chicken casserole today that I was making yesterday until I realised I had a risotto in the fridge that needed eating, 11SP, it looked not so great but tasted much better.

Then I had the leftover garlic chicken for tea, my casserole will do me for the weekend now.

See I've now been a coach for over 15 years, I've been a member on and off since I left school and the longer I do this the more I become about 'health' rather than numbers on a scale, I've just sat here and realised a couple of new members didn't come this week and I think it's because they didn't lose 'LOADS' of weight last week, that makes me sad because it's better to chip away at it than lose loads for a few weeks, make no realistic, long term changes and end up gaining it all again.

I refuse to put that pressure on myself anymore, there are enough things to get disappointed over and sad about without adding to the list.  When I plan meals, or write my shopping list these days, I'm more inclined to consider whether it's food that's good for me rather than food that will make me lose weight.

And giving up completely isn't going to help anyone lose weight is it!

When I decide what I'm having to eat, I try to make sure there's vegetables on the plate, even breakfast, by adding mushrooms or tomatoes, or a bit of fruit instead.  This is more important, getting into the habit of eating fruit and veg will be better for me in the long run than losing half stone in a week.

1lb a week is 52lb in a year, hell 1/2lb a week is a couple of stone, it's so much easier to chip away with the half pounds than aim for 2lb a week, as one new member said this week, 'I'm happy with a pound because I've been away this weekend and had a good time'.  Still living life at the same time see.

Aiming for 30 minutes of activity or 10k steps each day is also better than an initial half stone loss, because if you can make that activity a habit, it'll help you with your weight loss and your health both physical and mental.

But we live in a world where we want quick and easy don't we, which is part of the reason we've put the weight on in the first place because it's quicker and easier to pick up the phone and call for a takeaway than it is to stand in the kitchen and cook a healthy meal from scratch.

Easter Sunday is on April 12th this year, that's 11 weeks away, they say it takes 4 weeks for you to notice changes, 8 weeks for friends and family and 12 weeks for everyone else to notice, would you like everyone else to start noticing around Easter so when they ask, 'OMG what have you been doing?"  You can reply, I've been taking care of myself!

Or you could starve yourself for a couple of weeks, lose half stone and have everyone tell ya how miserable you look because yeah you're lighter but you're hungry, you haven't been out and had a good time and you know deep down, you're not going to be able to keep it up long term.

I've spent way too long focusing on numbers on a scale, I'm now focusing on eating delicious, healthy food and making it through each day focusing on the good stuff, actually looking for it and where possible making it.

I'm off to have a great day, how about you?

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Friday, 24 January 2020


Friday 24th January 2020
Expect nothing, appreciate everything.

Yay, it's Friday and I've got a massage to look forward to, it's paid for too thanks to lovely people treating me for my birthday, feeling blessed.  I'm going to cook a chicken hotpot this afternoon too, that'll feed me for a couple of days then and I can have it with different veggies on the side, if I've got the energy and can be bothered I'll make some egg muffins too I think, maybe even those porridge muffins now I have my second set of WW muffin cases, loving them (yes Alexis, I've got your set ready for when you come visit too).

I've got cauliflower so could do the cauliflower cheese muffins or the kale ones or maybe I'll experiment and try a new one as I want to cook 50 new recipes this year.  I'll have a play, I have a bit of my garlic chicken left, I could shred the chicken and use that maybe, we'll see.  I'm fancying turning my leftovers into soup I think.

Payday tomorrow but it's not a great month in the WW world because December is such a quiet month, so I'll be trying to be a bit more careful with my shopping till February payday, especially with the money I've spent on my car this month (thank heavens for the birthday massages, that's saved my credit card for sure!) I've got a freezer full of food, just add greens so it's all good.

Yesterday was a cracking busy day at work, Alfie still got his two walks because he wouldn't leave me alone about an hour after I'd walked him the first time, I actually wonder if he's forgetting he's been out already?  As when we went the second time, he wasn't that energetic, he just hung around for half hour.  Poor little boy, at least he's not in physical pain xx

I'm still stepping out of bed and saying 'It's going to be a great day' and I have to say I have had a much more positive week, I just feel better in myself, that's got a lot to do with having a good chat with my besties over the week and also planning a meal out with them on the 31st, something to look forward to really does make a difference.  I've also got someone popping in to see mom for a visit to she has she handles it and if we could in the future make it a regular thing to give me an hour to nip out to the shops or walk the dog or even go upstairs and use my computer and not worry about her.  It's all worth trying for sure because she's never getting better is she and I can't put my life on hold forever.

 Yeah I've had a lovely sleep and I'm refreshed and looking forward to my day, so I'll go get it started because I've not got much to talk about if I'm honest, at the minute if I'm not working, I'm listening to my books, I'm hooked on this series by Lucinda Riley about the Seven Sisters, I'm now on book 5 and they're about 20 hours long each, so anytime I have the chance, I listen to a bit more which is another reason I'm happy to spend some time in the kitchen :)

Here's to making it a great day because they don't just happen by change usually.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Thursday, 23 January 2020

I need caffeine

Thursday 23rd January 2020
It's not about how you look, it's about how you see.
It's morning and it's still foggy, what's going on with the weather, it's still dark too, roll on Spring for sure. But until then I'll pretend it's warm and sunny lol and cook delicious food like I did yesterday.

Chicken with 40 cloves of garlic, it really is as good as I remember,

Noily Prat (dry vermouth) really does help to make food delicious and you only need a splash, you can use a white wine if you don't have it though.  

Alfie had me walk him 3 times yesterday, I can't keep that up, the little man isn't showing any signs of improvement yet, but it's not quite the 2 weeks yet and they did say 2-6 weeks, so I'm living in hope.

Not much to say this morning, apart from thinking 'It's going to be a great day' really is helping me get through the day more positively, nothings changed in my house but I'm trying to handle it with a positive head.  It is true that your thoughts become your actions and help to create your reality, so if you only focus on one thing today, make it paying attention to what you're thinking.

I'm not beginning to suggest it'll make everything in your life okay but it might help to make you feel better in yourself and how you deal with the day in front of you, I'm clocking when I'm having a moan, or being negative, I'm not saying I'm not still doing it but I'm aware of whether it's helping the situation or not and trying something else instead.

On that note, I've got a long day ahead, I need caffeine, so I'll say it's going to be a great day, mwah,

luv ya

Love ya

Wednesday, 22 January 2020

Food, glorious food

Wednesday 22nd January 2020
If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

It works!  Honestly, try it if you didn't this morning, wake up, sit up, put your feet on the floor and say 'It's going to be a great day!', and remind yourself of it throughout the day as you think or say something that's not so helpful.  I woke to mom asking how we were going to get all those kids back home, she'd obviously had a dream and bought it into her reality with her and because of my positive words that started my day, I still feel like I can handle anything the day wants to throw at me (not a challenge universe btw).

I had a couple more lovely gifts for my birthday yesterday, including a book that's a journal, it's called 99 things that bring me joy, right up my street that is, on each page it asks you to fill something in, so 1 is 'Childhood toys you loved', 22 is 'things you think are cute', 96 is 'A piece of wisdom someone gave you', what a wonderfully clever idea, each page gives you chance to use your brain and think.  I shall enjoy sitting and doing that, I'll do it when moms in a good mood and try and get her involved by asking her the questions too. 

I cooked my gnocchi yesterday, the salami had a real kick to it, the kind that burns the inside of your mouth, but it was delicious for 14SP a portion.   The butternut squash was past it's best so I cut off the bits that were ok and roasted them with the salami on the top of it.  Then fried diced onion with diced garlic and a splash of vermouth.  I then cooked the gnocchi on the hob for 3 minute,  drained it and added to the onion mixture threw in a bag of spinach and the squash from the oven.  Then stirred through 100g of really strong blue cheese and voila, nom nomness.

That's my kind of food for sure and today I plan to cook more of my kind of food, I've got to take my car in again first but then I'm going to make my very favourite 40 cloves of garlic chicken, I do love my Nigella.  The points shown are for all 3 plans unless I've highlighted them in a different colour, hope that makes sense.  Don't fear the number 40, you won't peel or chop them, the skins being left on means they grow sweet and caramel as they cook, like savoury bonbons in their sticky wrappers, so good.  For me this recipe is so much better with thighs but I understand that some people would be willing to lose a bit of flavour to save a few points, I'm not one of those people. 

Chicken with 40 cloves of garlic

Feeds 4

13SP per serving using thighs,
3SP or 7SP per serving using breasts,
9SP per serving using legs

2 tbsp regular olive oil (9SP)
Use 8 chicken thighs (skin on, bone in) (42SP) or
use 8 skinless breasts for 0SP or 13SP
use 4 skinless legs for 27SP or

1 bunch (about 6) spring onions
small bunch fresh thyme
40 garlic cloves (approx 3-4 bulbs), unpeeled
2 tbsp dry white wine (1SP)
1½ tsp sea salt flakes or ¾ tsp pouring salt
Ground black pepper

Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4. Heat the oil on the hob over a high heat in a wide, shallow, ovenproof and flameproof casserole (that will ultimately fit all the chicken in one layer, and that has a lid). Sear the chicken, skin-side down. This may take two batches, so transfer the browned pieces to a bowl as you go. Once the chicken pieces are seared, transfer them all to the bowl.

Finely slice the spring onions, put them into the casserole and quickly stir-fry them with the leaves torn from a few sprigs of thyme. Put 20 of the unpeeled cloves of garlic (papery excess removed) into the casserole, top with the chicken pieces, skin-side up, then cover with the remaining 20 cloves of garlic.

Add the vermouth (or white wine) to any oily chicken juices left in the bowl. Swill it around and pour this into the casserole. Sprinkle with the salt, grind over the pepper, and add a few more sprigs of thyme. Put on the lid and cook in the oven for 1½ hours.

Another recipe I think I'm going to do as well, either today and bulk cook or later in the week is this one; 


by Nigella. Featured in AT MY TABLE

Feeds 4, 11SP or 17SP per serving
What’s key here is the size of the roasting tin. I wouldn’t go any smaller – measuring from inside rim to inside rim – than about 38 x 28cm / 15 x 11inches (a little larger is fine) as there needs to be space around the chicken thighs for the magic to happen.

900 grams frozen petits pois 0SP or 21SP
400 grams trimmed leeks (cut into approx. 3cm/ 1 inch slices
2 fat cloves garlic (peeled and minced)
4 x 15ml tablespoons dry white vermouth or wine 3SP
2 tablespoons regular olive oil 9SP (plus more for drizzling – I'd not bother with this!)
2 teaspoons sea salt flakes (plus more for sprinkling)
1 small bunch fresh dill (torn into pieces)
8 chicken thighs with skin on and bone in 42SP


    Preheat the oven to 200°C/180°C Fan/400°F and clatter the frozen peas into a large roasting tin, followed by the leeks, garlic, vermouth, 2 tablespoons of oil, 2 teaspoons of sea salt flakes and most of the dill. Turn everything together in the pan – breaking up any large clumps of the frozen peas – until well mixed. I advise you to wear CSI gloves for this, just to stop you getting frostbite, though you still will feel the cold.
    Arrange the chicken thighs, skin-side up, on top, then drizzle them with a little olive oil and give them a good sprinkling of sea salt flakes, before roasting in the oven for 45 minutes. Remove from the oven, give the peas a small stir or tamp down, so that the few that are sitting on the surface and drying out a little are submerged in the liquid. Don’t do the same to the leeks, however, as the bits that are peeking out will become desirably caramelised in the heat. Put back in the oven for a further 30 minutes, by which time the peas and leeks will be soft, and the chicken tender and cooked through, its skin golden and crisp.
    Tear off the remaining dill fronds, and scatter over the top on serving, perhaps with some simply steamed new potatoes to soak up the pea and chicken juices.


    Refrigerate leftovers, within 2 hour of cooking, in an airtight container for up to 3 days. Reheat in a saucepan or microwave until piping hot all the way through.
    If you prefer, you can use light chicken stock in place of the vermouth or wine.

    I can't make that one unless I got get leeks and dill!  Anyway, I need to get my backside away from this computer, so I'll say hurrah, mwah.

    Luv ya 

    Love me xx

    Tuesday, 21 January 2020

    Good morning Tuesday

    Tuesday 21st January 2020
    You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy or fake.

    Of course I didn't wake up the day after I turned 50 and my life became easy and my eating and drinking habits had changed overnight, but my attitude was improved, my mood too, it'll take some work to keep it there but I'm willing to do that.  It's never going to be easy watching mom and Alfie being devoured by the disease.  Bless him, he walked my legs off yesterday so at least I'm getting my exercise, even if it's not very quick and we don't get very far.

    As well as a wicked birthday gift from my bestie, my Pause box https://pauseformind.org.uk arrived from Mind yesterday too, that was a bit of nice through the post, it was also really apt as it confirmed some of the thoughts I'd been having -  this months little card inside the box said; 

    Sometimes we can find ourselves caught up in the day-to-day, forgetting to make a bit of time for what really motivates or inspires us. 

    Try writing down the things that you want to focus on more in your life, or a list of the things you'd like to do more of.  It might be getting more fresh air, taking up a new hobby or trying new recipes.  It's prove that writing things down means you're more likely to achieve them, and the structure of a list can help us feel more relaxed. 

    The theme of the box this year is drawing, there's some exercises in the box that I will have a go at, it's a cute little box each month and a reminder to me that I need to take time out in one way or another.  

    My list of things that I'd like to focus on more in my life include, my friends, cooking new recipes, listening to my audiobooks, that's plenty to get me started.  I've also loved taking photos, so try to maybe get to places where that's worth doing, although you can find beauty everywhere.   

    Today's meal is going to use up the gnocchi I have left in the fridge I think, I'll have it with butternut squash, use up some of the chorizo or salami, maybe a bit of blue cheese, not low in points but healthy and delicious overall.  I don't expect to change overnight and I'm okay with that, I won't wake up 2 stone lighter in the morning, I just want to wake up feeling more positive every day and able to handle life as it is.  I'm not going to lie, the last year, I've thought it won't be forever, she's 81, but the truth is, she could live for a long time still so I need to live too and not just exist.  That may read bad but unless you've lived a similar situation you just can't understand, even she wishes she weren't here some days. 

    I'm looking forward to a day with members at Short Heath, busy day ahead, I'll make time to cook dinner though, I've managed to get enough sleep despite Alfie and mom trying to stop me, I ended up putting Alfie on my bed, he was stood on the landing whining which was setting mom off, she then spend half hour stomping to and from the bathroom - yay, what better way to spend 2am lol. 

    I'm already looking forward to messing about in the kitchen later, not decided if I'm going to roast the squash or make a sauce from it.  I've just remembered a recipe I found on the WW app, it sounded delicious, I was looking for a way to use up the delicious salami I have in my fridge leftover from my birthday weekend. Roasted butternut squash and salami rigatoni, oh so much niceness on one plate, all I do know is the ingredients, squash, salami, chorizo, blue cheese all compliment each other beautifully, sage, thyme or rosemary all add flavour to squash too and you can make a sauce in a food processor from the squash which would be delicious on a bowl of gnocchi, mmm.

    I need to stop thinking food and start thinking washing and dressing, so I'll say turrah.  Remember it's going to be a great day, mwah, 

    Luv ya

    Love me 

    Monday, 20 January 2020

    Here's to my 50s, looking forward to them.

    Monday 20th January 2020
    When you focus on the good - the good gets better.

    This is your Monday morning reminder that you can handle whatever this week throws at you!  Today I'm reminding myself that a negative mind will never give you a positive life.

    It was a funny old week last week, my mind did a lot of thinking, my heart did a little breaking and my eyes shed a river of tears.  There was some self pity I ain't going to lie, then more realisation than I'm not the only one with problems.  I had a tinge of disappointment, followed by a reminder that I never make a big thing of my birthday so how were others supposed to know this year I felt differently (DOH!) and I went to bed happy last night and I've woke up feeling like there's been a shift for sure in my head.  The best gift I had yesterday was a reminder of how important friendship is and how blessed I am in that area.

    I'd already made the decision that some things have got to change, but a concerned face from a lovely lady on Saturday seconded it and finally catching up with my bestie definitely sealed the idea, being  reminded that when things get difficult for me, I shut down made me realise how well she knows me, actually she knows me better than I know myself sometimes, which is weird and it wasn't till we were chatting I realised quite how much I miss her and V, even though I see V every Saturday morning, it's not the same as the 3 of us sitting round a table eating a meal we don't have the points for, not caring that we don't have the points for it either, and giggling, talking rubbish and generally forgetting everything that's going on in our worlds.

    One of the things that's got to change is me not doing anything because it's easier, okay it's not easy to leave mom, it's not easy to come back afterwards, but it's amazing when I'm out doing something.  So I'm going to have a chat with my sister and maybe my brother too who has offered to sit with mom and arrange whens best for me to steal a few hours to have food with my mates, who know maybe we'll get to go out for tea not lunch - omg, I don't remember the last time I did that!  But I don't work Monday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday evenings so if it was early in the night, I'm less likely to fall asleep ;)

    My living room is full of flowers and so many cards, I really feel loved, I had so many messages via Facebook yesterday and lovely, thoughtful gifts.  One of my first actions this morning though proved I have already started the transition into my mom, oh yeah, it's real bad, you ready for this.... I went in the kitchen and saw the box a gift came in and thought to myself, "I'll keep that to put something in" OMG this week a box, next week tins 😂 In fairness thought it is a pretty box with '50 & more gorgeous every day!' written on it, you can't throw that away, I'll find a use for it, oh man the transition is happening isn't it.

    Oh I'll save the best birthday pressie for last cos you ain't gonna believe me, I ate cheese and onion pie - lots of it, white bread with Italian niceness, Manchester tart (3/4 of a big one), birthday cake (thank you Jane, everyone who had a slice devoured it), wine, yes of course wine and I've just stood on the scales and the scales has given me a MAINTAIN!  NO shame in a maintain!  I didn't gain, what a gift from the WW gods, we won't even consider the 'catch up' thing, we're being positive today.

    I started listening to that Tiny Habits book yesterday and he said one habit that he wants me ( everyone reading the book) to do every morning is what he calls the Maui habit, each morning when you wake up and place your feet on the floor, say "It's going to be a great day!" I like this idea because I always try to end my blog with something similar to put me in a positive state of mind.  I also know that I'll forget to do that because my brain is small like Poohs, so I've stuck a pic of this to my office computer so it's the first thing I look at when I sit down to write.

    I've made it through every difficult day that's ever been thrown at me so far, most of them with positivity and I'm ready to get back to me, to start taking care of myself, to enjoying life again not just existing and surviving, as much as I love going to work, there has to be more to look forward to doesn't there. Oh and the biggie, to lose the habit of thinking everyone is a mind reader and knows what I'm thinking and what I need, I'll start communicating instead of shutting down!

    Thank you to everyone who's a part of my world, I love you for it, always remember you matter, you're important and you are loved, and you bring to this world things no one else can.

    It's going to be a great day, mwah

    luv u

    love me xx

    Sunday, 19 January 2020

    Half a Century! WOW!

    Sunday 19th January 2020
    Beauty is not in the face, beauty is a light in the heart.

    Yesterday morning I opened my door to be presented with a glorious bouquet of flowers and a Manchester tart, as I went to take them in thinking can my day get any better, my sister rocks up with a cheese and onion pie!  Well I thought, my birthday ain't till tomorrow but that's me happy for the weekend, dinner and pudding, sorted.

    Once at work, more cards, gifts and this fabulous cake; 

    Isn't it wonderful, with little Alfie under my wool and my wine at my feet - I'd like to know when she's been in my house to see me like that, cos it's exactly what I look like all weekend ;) 

    I had a lovely morning, followed by a few difficult hours with mom and Alfie, he ran off last night and I hadn't realised he'd gone (I went to put a sticker on the bin but that's another drama you don't need to hear) luckily he'd run in a flat up the road and straight up their stairs, if their door hadn't been open at the time I don't even want to think about what would've happened.  Note to self, he can't be trusted at all anymore!

    Things eventually calmed down, and we watched a bit of telly, mom had a little cry over Alfie, so I joined her, it's good to let tears fall sometimes, it cleans your eyes xx

    Today I turn 50, mom thinks I was born in the afternoon and it was raining (I've asked before and that's all she can remember), what I do know is if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been born at all, so today I shall celebrate my birthday at home with her and share my cake too 😉

    I'm not usually fussed about my birthday if I'm honest, but 50 seems significant, I've always been the baby in my family!  When you're a kid 50 seems ancient, but now I'm here, yeah I feel my age, I have my aches and pains but I feel good.  I have no words of wisdom today, I'm just going to eat too much and drink some wine, I've already decided this last week that some things have to change, I'm not 100% sure what I mean by that, but I have the rest of my 50th year to think about it, I don't have to do any thinking today do I cos it's my birthday!

    Here's to a very happy birthday for me.  Whatever you're doing enjoy xx

    Mwah, luv ya

    Love me xx

    Saturday, 18 January 2020

    Got my Nigella on yesterday didn't I!

    Saturday 18th January 2020
    You're allowed to hope for what's to come, while making the most of where you are already.

    Today's the last day of my 40s!  Where did that decade go, mom's just woke up and asked me when we're going home so I guess that answers that question, most of it got swallowed up by Alzheimers, but we made it and there's been some good times for sure.  I can't believe I'm going to be 50 tomorrow, I've become a proper grown up and everything, responsibilities and stuff - it sucks don't it lol.  I miss being able to just walk out the house and go do what I want, when I want.  It's all good though, I stay in the house and ignore the housework, so I still get to be a bit of a rebel.

    I did enjoy my massage very much yesterday, even more so because it was a gift and then I spent a little time in the kitchen yesterday getting creative and I enjoyed that;

    I had these 2 courgettes that were thinking of walking out the fridge and escaping as they'd been in there so long!
     so I did this to the best bits of them using a potato peeler.
     These had also been in the fridge for a long time, so I wanted to use them. 2SP for 2 of them
    I'd bought this over Christmas so wanted to use some of this, 100g is 5SP, you can cook it in a pan of boiling water but I like it baked.
     I'm not a fan of tomato sauce based food but I like this one, 2SP for the packet. 
    (must remember to pay for it this morning) 
     and this is the nicest chorizo and it was on offer last week 2 for £5.  quite high in points 28g was 4SP but it's strong in flavour.
     I did this with it all, put it on the courgette and rolled it up.

    so it looked like this, I shoved the few spare gnocchi in the middle as you can see and then I covered it with the tomato sauce sachet

    Topped it with 70g of grated protein cheese 2SP
    and baked in the oven for half hour on 180 degrees (gas mark 4) 
     It looked like this when it came out and was delicious

    15SP in the whole thing or 8SP in half, nom nom,

     I really enjoyed it and it proved I can still enjoy the strong flavoured ingredients I like and stay on track (starting Monday anyway as this weekend is my birthday weekend and I'll be mostly going over my points allowance!

    I'm going to have to go, moms disorientated this morning so I'll go get ready as soon as I can for work and spend a little time with her before Anne comes round.  Yesterday was the first day in a week that Alfie wasn't good, I did manage to walk him but not as far as we have been going, I wonder if those two things are connected, I can walk him 2-3 hours every day though, it's just not feasible.

    Anyways, here's to a happy birthday weekend for me and a great weekend for you whatever you're up too, go celebrate on my behalf xx

    mwah, luv ya

    Love me xx

    Friday, 17 January 2020

    Gearing up for Project Me

    Friday 17th January 2020
    Shine like gold, sparkle like glitter

    YES a better me is coming!  I've had enough of how I've been feeling and no more I say, no more!  My 50th year (which starts Sunday) is going to be Project Me, oh if you're sitting there thinking 'here we go again' Meh, I don't care, I've got a voice like that in my head already and I've told her to shut the **** up!

    Yeah I've done a lot of thinking over the last couple of days and there's a lot going on that I can't change but there's a lot I can change and I'm one of those things.  I proper belly laughed with Natalie as we were packing up last night, we were being real silly like a couple of kids who were playing their mom up (Carol) and it made me feel so good, I used to be like that all the time, but dementia has worn me down and it's done a damn good job of it too.  I don't like this time of year anyway but add everything that's been going on to the equation and its easily to let it consume me but I'm not going to, I refuse to.  I'm going to use this yakky time of year to get me looking and feeling better ready for when the sun starts shining again (do you remember sunshine, it's that warm thing in the sky that makes us feel better and makes people smile).

    What does Project Me look like?  Erm, dow know yet lol, but you don't have to know everything before you get started do ya, you don't have to know what you're doing, you just have to start.  All I know is I'm going to enjoy it and it's going to make me feel better, sounds good to me.

    Because at the moment I feel like Pooh when he got stuck, in case you don't know the story and because I think everyone needs a bit of Pooh, here it is;

    "The fact is", said Rabbit, "You're stuck."
    "It all comes,", said Pooh crossly, "of not having front doors big enough."
    "It all comes" said Rabbit sternly, "of eating too much.  I thought at the time," said Rabbit, "only I didn't like to say anything." said Rabbit, "that one of us was eating too much," said Rabbit, "and I knew it wasn't me," he said.
    "Well, well, I shall go and fetch Christopher Robin."
    "How long does getting thin take?" asked Pooh anxiously.
    "About a week, I should think."
    "But I can't stay here for a week!"
    "You can stay here all right, silly old Bear.  It's getting you out which is so difficult."
    We'll read to you," saidRabbit cheerfully. "And I hope it won't snow," he added.  "And I say, old fellow, you're taking up a good deal of room in my house - do you mind if I use your back legs as a towel-horse?  Because, I mean, there they are - doing nothing - and it would be very convenient just to hang the towels on the."
    "A week!" said Pooh gloomily.  "What about meals?"
    "I'm afraid no meals," said Christopher Robin, "because of getting thin quicker.  But we will read to you."

    Well I'm not up for the NO MEALS idea but I do relate to the being stuck metaphorically (I think that's the right word), but eating too much is adding to the problem for sure, so I will spend the next few days thinking about some of the things I can do in my year of Project Me and you can if you want either read my journey or join me, take the bits you like and do them and ignore the things you ain't so keen on.  One of the things I've already decided is 50 is a good number, so I'm going to do 50 of things, like yesterday I started a list of 50 things I'm glad I've done in my life.  I'm also going to read 50 books (I'm on book 3 already, might have to read a few shorter ones to get through that many in a year, thankfully I do audible ones so listen when walking the dog and in the car).  I'm also going to cook 50 new recipes - one a week that's doable, again I've already done two.  Got any ideas of what else I could do, let me know.

    But for now I just want to share with you my dinner from yesterday because it was delicious;

    The pizza was 9SP, I really enjoyed it too, and only 59p I think. The fries were 6SP in half pack. 

    Okay, moms up and we've just had a little giggle together so I'm going to go enjoy her whilst she's in a good mood.  Here's to a very great day, a lovely massage this morning to look forward to, paid for again by another wonderful person, how lucky am I!

    Mwah, luv ya

    Love me x

    Thursday, 16 January 2020

    Turning 50s not so bad

    Thursday 16th January 2019
    Don't ever let the place you start dictate where you finish.

    Let's just say at least I tracked yesterday!  My day didn't end great with mom but I didn't use it as an excuse to go in the kitchen and eat any more than I already had, so that's something.  There's a lot of internal dialogue going on within me at the moment regarding my diet and my health and my lifestyle in general.  I suppose it's because I'm also thinking about the fact I'm about to turn 50 and looking at where I am in my life, what I have, what I want, where I'm going, where I've been, how long I've got!  All of that stuff, definitely gives me plenty of thinking material, if I come out with anything insightful, I'll let you know.  I know lots of people have lists of things to do by the time they're 50 or 50 things to do in their 50th year, that sort of thing, I don't even want to contemplate that with my circumstances, let's not lower the mood anymore with the stuff I can't do.  Instead I think I'm going to write a list of 50 things I'm glad I have done over the last 50 years to remind me of the amazing life I've had so far, so right of the top of my head let's see how many I can list;

    1. Trekking in Nepal (that visit changed me as a person)
    2. Flying round Mount Everest with mom for her 60th Birthday
    3. Seeing a blue whale in the Baja California - I'd waited over 20 years for that ambition to be realised 
    4. Touching a grey whale whilst sitting in a small paddle boat and being sprayed by her
    5. Having the same whale list our boat out of the water. (Are you seeing a theme, I have a thing for whales!)
    6. Watching humpbacks breach in lots of places 
    7. Seeing Killer whales in Iceland 
    8. Spending my 30th birthday on a boat with just my mom & sister whale watching with 2 experts - the most incredible experience.
    9. Oo oo watching elephant seals on a beach in California - seeing one give birth! 
    10. Sitting all day on the Cromarty Firth waiting for the dolphins to pass by
    11. Hiking Machu Picchu
    12. Cycling from San Francisco to LA with my brother
    13. Cycling through Kenya 
    14. Spending Christmas with my Bestie
    15. Visiting New York with my Bestie 
    16. Climbing Snowdon 3 times in a day
    17. Climbing Snowdon 3 times in a day AGAIN years later to prove we still could 
    18. Becoming a WW coach - one of the best decisions I ever made.
    19. Riding on a Tandom bike with my besties - it was on my bucket list and they made it happen.  
    20. Passing my driving test, it gave me so much freedom. 

    I'm buzzing from those memories now, I'll carry on when I haven't got to leave for work and have loads to get done first.  It's good to remind myself that I have done so many wonderful things, makes the not so easy days at present easier to handle. 

    I'm trying to get back in the kitchen again and cook more, yesterday I got out my WW rice cooker at last to give it a go, 

    I have to say it does what it says on the box, I've only ever bought brown rice in a microwave packet because I've never been able to get it to taste any good myself, but one of my members said she was going to stop with those pouches to save money and also because of the environment and the 'plastic' thing, so I decided I will try the same and this was the result. 

    I'd roasted my peppers, fried my onions, sausages and some sun dried tomatoes, added a bit of cumin,  garlic and coriander and mixed it all together once my rice was cooked, it was a huge pan of food, Serves 6  💚 6SP 💙 6SP 💜 2SP.  I used those Good Little Company skinny sausages (4 for 6SP) because they were on offer, but it would be great with the chicken sausages my members get from Penn Road Butchers.  240g brown basmati rice, (24SP or zero on purple) cooked in the microwave with the rice cooker, I went over the shop whilst it was doing its thing.    I also added 100g sun-dried tomatoes from an open jar (4SP) trying to use up what I have, and I did add a tablespoon of vegetable oil for 4SP to add some taste and cook my onions but you could use spray light.  Anyway it turned out okay and was satisfying. 

    Just briefly back to my internal thinking about becoming 50, I said to someone last night 'if you're not careful, you're gonna have a bloody heart attack!" at their choices, then I thought to myself, erm 'pot, kettle, black!'  It's time to start thinking about the fact that what I eat and drink affects my health, and the older I get the more that's important.  I've already decided I'm not going to stress about it until after my birthday, but from Monday, I hope to make my 50th year, the year I do start loving myself and taking care of myself as much as I do everyone else, I owe myself the love that I so freely give other people.  If I'm going to be stuck in this house, I might as well make it a healthy home and use the time to turn myself into the best version of myself.

    My brothers promised that when he's back in March, he's going to build me a decking out the back, that will finish the garden of wonderfully and hopefully we'll get some lovely sunshine this year and I can start enjoying being out there again, get some nice flowers to brighten it up and make it a place mom want to sit in.  Until then I'll get my kitchen mojo back, one of my members made me want to find easy, quick meals because she doesn't actually like cooking so if I can find ideas to make it easy, we won't have to be in there too long!

    Okay, I'm off, here's to surviving another day, my long, but enjoyable busy one.  

    Mwah, luv ya 

    Love me xx

    Wednesday, 15 January 2020

    My greedy bitch is getting loud!

    Wednesday 15th January 2020
    Each day you have to make a decision, will you give up, give in or give it your all.

    Mid week already, yesterday was a wonderfully busy day in workshops, lots of weight loss and laughter which is always a good thing.  I ate well too, started my day with the cauliflower cheese cakes I'd made on Monday, so good and filling,   These are the moulds I used to cook them in, they're fab.  I've already sold out in my workshops, but going to order more tomorrow hopefully, so if you're one of my members and want some ordering, let me know. 

    I resisted toast when offered at my workshop, thankfully the cauliflower things had done the job and filled me up, going to make something similar today, not got cauliflower but I'll find something to throw in there I'm sure, or I could run over the Co-op, but I'd like to use up what's in the kitchen. 

    For lunch, I really enjoyed this new 8SP WW meal! It says it's 4SP in half but I had the whole thing, I've actually emailed WW food queries as it has chicken breast in so I would guess the points should be lower on blue and purple, by my reckoning either 3SP in half or 5SP in total, let's hope they reply with good news because it's a bargain for 5SP and delicious.  

    I used my WW spiraliser to make my own garlic courgetti for zero extra points!  Just used spray light and a little frozen garlic in the pan and I have cooked courgetti in a minute, great making my own as it was fresher, I've noticed when you buy stuff like that it doesn't keep well and smells, plus there's all the packaging, doing my little bit for the environment (trying ain't I)  

    Then for tea I indulged in this M&S pizza for 12SP, there's no better way to spend 12SP in my opinion, delicious, (thank you Angie for treating me to it).

    I ended on 39 so still not great, I had the munchies yesterday, indulged in a WW coconut protein bar and a packet of WW veggie sticks, could've been worse!  Then I had some wine when I got home. 

    The greedy bitch in me is playing with my head, she's telling me "it's your birthday on Sunday, it's too late to be 'fit at 50', so let's start 50 fat and get fit in your 50s, enjoy the rest of the week, have a Chinese and Indian takeaway, celebrate your birthday at home, then get back on track properly Monday".  Yeah that's more or less the dialogue that's been going on in my head for the last few days.    I want chicken chow mein, egg fried rice and Tandoori chicken what can I say, the heart wants what the heart wants 😂😜

    Damage limitation until Monday I'm thinking, then a great big fat line will be drawn and I'll do my best.   Until then, here's to surviving another day and doing my best, hope you do too.  Mwah, 

    luv ya 

    Love me xx

    Tuesday, 14 January 2020

    Cauliflower cheese cakes anyone?

    Tuesday 14th January 2020
    It is the one who lives in the house who knows where the roof leaks.  African proverb

    After my gain this week, everything that's going on in my life right now and a few comments from friends and members, I have decided not to focus on the numbers at all for a little bit, if I lose great but if I haven't that's okay too. "just do your best Bev, with everything you’ve got going on it’s a wonder you can even think straight." it was this sentence that made me think, yeah I've got so may things to think about, so much going on in my head, I'm going to focus on doing my best and yesterday wasn't too bad.

    This was my breakfast, ready made poached eggs from Morrisons.  

    Now officially because they have oil in them, they scan as 2SP each, but if on blue or purple and you're a little bit of a rebel like myself, I'd track the two for 1SP to cover the oil as my eggs are zero!  Depends how rigid you're following the plan and how important guaranteed weight loss is to you!  It's a bit like a member asked in my group yesterday about people following the green plan, she wanted to know if it had helped with quantity.  I found the answers interesting and love that members have got an understanding that no plan is better than another, it's a personal decision.  Those that had switched to green did seem to believe it had helped them with their portion sizes though, so it is worth a thought, a good question asked in the comments was, 'Ask yourself are you enjoying what your eating or only eating it because it’s zero.' good point, well made, another member had changed to green because she doesn't like fish.  It's good to find the plan that suits you best for sure.

    I decided to break up the monotony of my day by doing a bit of cooking, I wanted to experiment with the WW muffin cases and I created my very own version of these, nom nom. 
    Cauliflower cheese & onion cakes 
    Total points 39SP 💚 11SP 💙💜

    10 eggs (18SP 💚 0SP 💙💜)
    125g diced onion
    225g cauliflower rice (1SP 💚💙💜)
    Tbsp english mustard 
    150g Arla lacto free soft cheese (5SP 💚💙💜)
    150g Arla protein cheese, grated (5SP 💚💙💜)
    Mix eggs, cauliflower rice, soft cheese, diced onions and mustard together. Divide between muffin cases top with grated cheese and cook on gas mark 4 / 180o fan oven for between 20-30 minutes until cooked!

    They taste better cold than hot in my opinion. 

    I only used soft cheese because I had it to use, next time I'd probably use double quantity of grated cheese instead. 

    I made 22 in total, 8 large ones using WW muffin cases, 14 slightly smaller ones. So on blue & purple I get 2 for 1SP, on green it's 2SP each or 3 for for 5SP. 

    A great way to hide veggies, I honestly couldn't taste the cauliflower at all nor smell it! 

    My day was going okay then my mom bless her started telling me about how she was feeling scared lately when she was in bed, we chatted and I held her hands and told her I loved her as she cried, this disease is just cruel, my heart breaks for her, it really does.  She just come our of her room actually, so I better get gone and go take care of her before I get ready for work.  

    Here's to surviving another day and doing my best, hope you do too.  Mwah, 

    luv ya 

    Love me xx