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Tuesday, 6 August 2019

Sort yourself out first!

Tuesday 6th August 2019
Start with yourself!

So my day started with me shouting at my brother yesterday!  Not the best way to start a day but I was in a rush to get mom sorted, she wasn't playing nicely and he got my wrath.  However I stick by what I said, just wished I'd said it in a grown up, calm kind of voice.  And the only reason I'm telling you is I think we can all learn from what I was saying, take from it what you will.  See my brothers a poorly man, he has cancer and it's made him see life differently - understandably so, however he's not practicing what he's preaching.  Why did he call me?  Well he wanted me to have a word with my other brother to tell him he needs to slow down, he's working too much and he's worried about him.  WELL I already knew he had spent the entire weekend (more or less) helping said brother do his daughters bathroom, otherwise he wouldn't have been working so hard, he'd have been relaxing with his wife on their allotment.  See Mark (brother calling me) has been told to rest by his doctor but he's not doing as he's told so he can't be throwing out advice.  t's lovely that he cares but he doesn't have to be worrying about other people, he needs to focus on himself.  I'm menopausal and have to bite my tongue with my mom, I can't shout at my members and I don't really see anyone else, so he got all my rage in 3 short minutes, gotta love those hormones. 

Aren't we all quick to solve everyone else's problems rather than looking in a mirror at our ourselves and working on our own.  INow I'm aware that my life was too full on, so I've slowed down, I can't change somethings, actually I could, I don't have to be my mom's carer, I choose to be and I have no intention of changing that, so other aspects of my life have had to change to balance out the pressure of that.  Mom isn't going to get easier at all, so I've got the balance back by not worrying so much about others, by saying NO to my brother yesterday, by refusing to take on everyone else's problems, some may like to say it's selfish, but I see it as self care.  I ask myself what I need to do to survive these years and then I do those things.  

Are you distracting yourself from your own problems by trying to sort or help everyone else out?  

I had to pull back a good few hours of my crochet yesterday because of one tiny mistake 10 rows before, the thing was that one little problem back on row 20 was making bigger problems on row 31, the ripple effect almost, if we don't deal with the issue at hand, it creates waves and more issues arise further down the road.  Another great reason to address things that are affecting our health and happiness rather than continue to ignore them.  

I had a lovely few hours with my coach pals at training, we actually had our own WW workshop during the training and it helped all of us, we all came away agreeing what our plan was for the week ahead, we set a goal and planned to stick to it.  Mine was to ensure I go to bed at 9 every night and I did it last night, so glad I did because I feel so much better having 7.5 hours rather than the 6 hours I'd had the night before.  I may not be sleeping brilliantly and I wake regularly but at least I'm resting, a hot sweaty mess but a resting one!

I was starving on the motorway driving home, I could've hammered a Maccy's or a chippy but I didn't I went home and had this instead; 

8SP of tasty and because I was so hungry I'd already eaten a packet of chicken breast whilst I was waiting for it to cook. 

This had been my breakfast, for 2SP those Joseph's lavash bread wraps are great but it's a shame they don't sell them in the supermarkets, online buying is a pain. 

I wasn't hungry enough for another meal later on so I dove into a couple of packets of WW treats for 4SP.  

That would've been a great day had I not indulged in a packet of 3 biscuits at the training, those that they put in a bowl by the coffee machine!  3 shortcake type, 7SP ouch.  I blame a couple of things for this, well actually 3, firstly one of the other coaches had a pack so the temptation was there and the encouragement, she's had it, I can.  Then the fact they were just there when I went to get another coffee, finally I was tired and when we're tired we crave sugar to give us a quick energy hit.  Let's not forget biscuits are blinking lovely, that would make four things to blame.  No blame on me for lack of willpower and not controlling myself you notice - nah, I'm done with blame, it's in my DNA hence it's not my fault ;)

Right today, let's take a look at ourselves, let's start to work out what we can do to make our lives better before we start helping everyone else with there's shall we? 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

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