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Saturday, 5 May 2018

There's strength in the struggle

5th May 2018
I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.

Yesterday was a lovely day, I had a very lovely lady do a bit of food and wine shopping for me which was super kind, then I chilled with mom for a couple of hours before taking myself off to the cinema to watch ‘I feel pretty’ which I enjoyed immensely, it’s definitely selling my idea of ‘BeYOUtiful’, to love the skin you’re in and realise you’re already an amazing person who should believe in themselves, oh and it’s funny too.  Go watch it!

I know this is where I should tell you I stayed on track and had a small popcorn and a diet coke but seriously do you know how often I get out?  Plus the cinema at Junction 10 actually sells beer.  I know!  It would’ve been rude not to have one, so one I had with a large popcorn and a diet coke, at least I hadn’t had lunch as well!   Then afterwards we nipped in the Hungry Horse (I know the clues in the name isn’t it!) but we ordered 3 sides and shared them, I ended up with half dish of chips and 3 chicken wings - oops a slice of bread and butter. 

That was all I ate for the rest of the day and I’m back on the healthy eating today, I’m more interested in my mind health than anything these days and yesterday it was good, my bestie assures me I underestimate how difficult my life is and that I’m coping really well with it all, so I’m going to believe her and give myself a break and cut myself some slack.  I will do what I can when I can, I will endeavour to eat as healthy as possible and take care of myself at home and stay positive. 

I will work my way through this maze of Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia, peri-menopausal symptoms, crazy dog syndrome and every other crazy thing that goes on in my house.  I actually would share some of that with you if it wasn’t that I respect my mom too much and don’t think she would like you to know.  I will just say if only Alzheimer’s was just about repeating yourself, no two cases are the same either because no two people are the same.  We’re all BeYOUtiful in our own way don’t forget and if we’re unlucky enough to get Alzheimer’s we all go crazy BeYOUtiful in our own way too.

What’s really helped me this last week I think is re-connecting with people in my life who I haven’t seen or spoken too in a while and I’ve made time for those I see on a weekly basis through work but not socially.  Even just messaging each other more and sharing our thoughts, I realise I don’t have anyone to bounce ideas off when I’m at home so it’s good to have that friend to say ‘what do you think of this idea?’  It’s so important to have people to connect with and engage with, to share with.  I’m thankful for my people.

I miss that my bestie isn’t a WW coach anymore, but I’m glad that she’s still there and we still catch up most days, I love that we share the same warped humour, we laugh at the same wrong things, I love that she gets me better than anyone I know, actually she sometimes understands me better than I do myself!  Everyone needs a person. 

Someone said to me Thursday morning, “You must be a very strong person” and I am, but part of that strength is being able to show my vulnerability, to cry and admit it’s tough and I struggle.  There’s always strength in struggle.

Just a few hours away from reality is all I need to set me up for everything this life has to throw at me, I’m looking forward to my meeting then my massage this morning.  I’m hoping for sunshine so I can get stuck into sorting my snug, after much discussion yesterday we feel it should have a little bar with a couple of optics.  I can feel a very, very lovely summer coming on.  I’m even coming round to the idea of getting electricity in it…

Here’s to enjoying our Bank Holiday weekend, make time for you BeYOUtiful because you really and truly are important too. xx

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