4th May 2018
You only fail when you give up trying
Survived another day, enjoyed some delicious food, cooked chicken breast were my saviour yesterday, had them ready in the fridge for when I got back hungry before I made my dinner, had one on a sandwich with leftover coleslaw for my tea too because I was ravenous when I got home at half eight and didn’t want to cook.
My breakfast cost me 6SP but worth it, 2 toast, 2 eggs, mushrooms and prosciutto, really hit the spot,
For dinner I had a chicken dinner, the sliced chicken breast was bought cooked, makes it way more sensible than buying raw for me on a busy day, I had a giant yorkie, bit of smash, veg and gravy. Because I’d eaten a chicken breast whilst walking the dog lunchtime, the meal beat me, I couldn’t clear my plate, proving that protein does fill you up.
I’m off to the cinema today, I have been in so long and I probably will have popcorn, but if I have a zero or low point breakfast and lunch, then it’ll be okay. It’s about getting back in control, not being perfect. There’s been a few moments already this month where I could’ve easily caved and turned to food but I haven’t and that’s what’s important to me right now. I can’t control the things that are happening in my life at this moment in time but I can control my behaviour and choices and I will!
Tiredness was my killer yesterday and instead of opting for food, I picked up a litre bottle of water out of my fridge (I get them as part of the sandwich meal deals I get for mom occasionally and keep them for times like this).
My day started very emotionally yesterday, I cried all the way to work, combination of talking to my siblings about mom, seeing mom meteorite, me being hormonal and peri-menopausal and basically, in a nutshell I just need to bleed or grow a beard to balance out my mood again! I’m good again this morning, for now anyway ;), plus my day ended better, after 5 fab meetings where my members all cheer me up, I fell lucky on Facebook Marketplace and got me 2 high backed chairs for my she snug up the garden, I have renamed my summerhouse to my snug, because I like the idea of a little cosy place where I can go and drink my wine, do my crochet and read my book and it won’t matter if the suns shining or not cos I’ll be cosy in my snug. The chairs are gold and dark brown, and I want the snug to have splashes of emerald green and possibly blush pink, it’ll work trust me and as long as I like it that’s all that matters. I was gifted the most beautiful gold mirror last night too, it’s huge and I love it. I love mirrors full stop, I have them all over my house, big ones because I like to see my reflection, I no longer hate what I see in the mirror, whatever my size, I love me. Anyway this mirror is incredible and will stand up the wall (too heavy to hang in there I think) and make the room look bigger and bring some class to my snug. I’ve also got this urge to randomly throw a pink parrot or a toucan into the mix somehow – not a real one obviously! I can see it in my head, all these dark green plants, tropical greens meet classy brown and gold gentlemen’s study type décor with flashes of girly blush pink. Oh my poor brain! However this is distracting me from thinking about food!
Anyway, I need to go look after mom, make us both some breakfast, think I’ll get her a meal deal for lunch as she’s opted not to eat “proper dinner” when I offer it, but she did eat the sandwich I just left by her chair yesterday, so maybe that’s the way forward, just leave a picnic by her chair and hope she eats it!
Bank holiday weekend, let’s hope the sun shines, I have snug walls to paint!
Oh I just realised it's Star Wars day, hence the addition of the photo at the top of the blog, I do love a bit of yoda, I'm going to channel my inner yoda today, he will make me strong - "No! Try not! DO or DO NOT, there is no try."