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Saturday, 14 March 2020

I am not grateful for....

Saturday 14th March 2020
It's okay to be a glow stick, sometimes we need to break before we shine.

Yesterday I talked about gratitude and resilience and they are both things that are helping me right now cope with everything that's going on in this crazy household but whilst walking Alfie yesterday, I thought I should also blog and tell folks that it's also important to not forget you're human.  It's okay to have a melt down, just don't unpack and live there.  Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.  I had a full on meltdown because the post man had left a card and I'd missed a parcel I'd been waiting for, I was okay within five minutes of my screaming and balling.  

But you know what, being a carer is bloody hard work, no one tells you how to survive a role nobody in their right mind would apply for! Oh and not forgetting you’re aren’t trained to do!  Then of course you won’t get paid to do it either so you'll have to continue doing your other job. 

With this in mind, I've come to accept that for the time-being I'm unlikely to have my ‘best’ body!  Instead I'm settling for being the best I can be taking into consideration everything I'm trying to contend with. 

Now I do love a gratitude list but sometimes you need to vent.  It's okay to have a pity party, just don't let it keep going and going, blow those candles out and get on with it.  I just thought instead of a gratitude list it'd be a great idea on days where you feel like that to do an Ingratitude list. Because sometimes life's a bit poo ain't it.   Go on you know you'd enjoy it don't ya, 

Today I'm pee'd off because... 

What I'm struggling with right now is.....

Sometimes it helps to write it all down.  The hardest thing to do when you're feeling low or everything is going wrong is to think of something to be grateful for and then you feel even worse, or you manage to think of 3 things but the next day you're struggling again and write the same thing down as the day before and now you feel like a real sad sack. 

Writing a list of stuff that's causing you to feel the way you are, once it's all written down in front of you, you can start to really focus on how you feel and why, whether you're feelings are justified or magnified, you can look to at each on in turn and see if there's anything you can do about how your feeling, the things that are pee'ing you off, the stuff that's causes you to struggle.  It's better to do that Than to write a list of 3 things that always end up being, family, friends, my dog.  

For example, nah I'm not going to do an example because everyone is bothered by different stuff and I'm not putting ideas in your head, we all struggle with stuff, trust me, it'll be easier to write these lists for most than the gratitude one.  Just getting it off your chest helps, we all like a good grumble don't we, or just to talk, my sister and I were messaging each other yesterday about mom, I could tell she just needed to get it out there because holding stuff in eats away at us.

Coronavirus will probably be on lots of peoples lists!  I was asked about whether they'll close my workshops a few times and at first I was mmm should I be worrying about this, I don't tend to worry about stuff till it happens if I can help it.  I've decided if they do, I get to have a week or two off without having to worry about arranging cover which is what I'd have to do if I wanted a holiday and is one of the reasons I don't bother.  I've managed to turn a potential bad situation into a not so bad one in my house.  I have laughed at the articles I've read about people getting cabin fever from being stuck in the house, they want to be stuck in the house week in, week out with someone who has dementia and violent tendencies, they ain't got a clue!  Ooo yeah see, having a rant and doing that list will definitely be therapeutic.

Anyway I gotta go, moms just got up so need to go sort her and get ready for work.

Here's to not catching Corona today xx

Luv ya, mwah

love me xx

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