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Beverley has prepared the content of Bev's World irresponsibly and carelessly. She therefore disclaims all warranties, express or implied, as to the accuracy, originality or completeness of the drivel presented on this blog or on other linked websites or on any subsequent links. She vehemently denies that the information may be relied upon for any reason. Beverley shall not be liable for inflicting laughter, shame, disgust, torrents of tears and the eventual desiccation or crashing boredom on readers.

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Thursday, 5 March 2020

Brr I'm cold....

Thursday 5th March 2020
There's always a fresh start, it's called today.


Half 5 in the morning already, my alarm goes off at 5.05 and I don't know where those 25 minutes went, actually I spent 5 minutes having a bit of love with Alfie on the landing because that poor bugger doesn't know if he's on this earth or fullers.  I don't actually know what that saying truly means even after just wasting another few minutes web searching it, but Alfie confused most of the time and out of it and that's what I think that saying means.  maybe someone will inform me.  I don't have time for research now lol, what the hell am I doing being side-tracked.

I've woke up wishing I could have another few hours in bed but thankfully I have managed a full night without mom wandering, bed by 10, although didn't settle immediately, it'd been a tough mom day from 4ish, she slept till noon after having us up through the night.  Dementia sucks, she was angry yesterday and I don't like that version, I know she's confused, frustrated, etc but it's like living in an abusive relationship, you don't know what you're coming home too and when you get home you're scared to say anything of fear of her kicking off so you sit uncomfortably in your own house, unable to relax.  It's not nice and my sister has to sit there too and it's not even her own house so not nice for her either.

Hey ho, today's another day, it's going to be a great day - yeah it is!  The highlight of my day (other than enjoying my evening at work) was the Cheese and Onion pie I returned home too, my sis had been baking, she'd made herself this magnificent beast;


And I got this baby version, how lucky am I.
 No, it's not WW friendly but a slice was delicious with half tin of WW beans, nom nom.

So many of us are struggling to stay on track right now, last night we agreed the weathers not helping, we all want a bit of sunshine, Spring needs to arrive and the rain needs to go, we all need to have a bit more enthusiasm.  I know a few were drawing a line this morning, some were going to plan, others track, maybe make sure they have the points to have that teatime splurge.  I'm going to do my best to survive what is my longest day of the week.  Think I'm going to have a baked bean and protein cheese toastie for my breakfast, maybe hard boil a couple of eggs to take with me in case I get peckish.  Then when I make my lunch I'll make some dinner at the same time so I know what I've got to come home to, otherwise I'm in danger of going rogue and having something that my body won't thank me for.

Here's a mindfulness exercise that might do us both some good, I know I've woke up trying to forget yesterday and focus forward so this might help.

Full Sensory Awareness Exercise

This one you do now; right now.  Wherever you are, just stop and look around (when safe to do so).  Become aware of everything that your senses pick up.

How do you feel?
Do you feel happy?
Do you feel excited?
Do you feel over-stimulated?
Do you feel anxious?

Take a moment and appreciate where you are and what is happening, along with how you are actually feeling in this very moment.

- - - -

Not that easy is it?  I feel calm, I feel hungry - yeah I do my belly is rumbling, I also feel cold, I haven't put the heating on yet and I'm actually shivering.  What other feelings, erm tired but not just in a physical way, in a enough with this situation type of way, I'm coping and I can continue to do so, I just wished we hadn't got to.  I wished I could call my sister up in the morning and say, hey sis, let's go shopping, let's go blow shed loads of money in M&S Food Hall, then go to Sainsbury's and anywhere else you fancy, then I'll treat ya to lunch.  But I can't and I won't be able to for a while yet because one of us has to be here being made to feel like crap instead.  Yes she still has good moments but even then we know she can switch at any minute.

Anyways, enough with the pity party, I'm off to get ready for work, to do last nights paperwork and to enjoy my baked beans, OH and put the damn heating on, I'm froze.

Let's have as great as day as we possibly can, what one thing can you do to improve the outcome?

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx


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