20th October 2015
Every day may not be good but there is something good in every day.
So yesterday, well it happened, that is how I feel about yesterday I'm afraid, it wasn't the best day I've ever had, there was still good in it though! We had a follow up appointment at the doctors and he's referred mom to the memory clinic and for a brain scan, something is definitely not right and Alzheimer's is looking to be likely. One a positive all her blood tests came back good except iron which has always been a problem but it hadn't got any worse since her blood transfusion 2 years ago, so my spinach and berry nutribullet drinks are helping. Her cholesterol, B12, everything else is spot on, she's pretty damn healthy despite her hiatus hernia and half her stomach being in her chest! Fighter ain't she.
So I threw myself a little pity party yesterday, I allowed myself to cry when I got out of sight of mom, I don't want her worrying about me, she has enough going on in her head. I'll be deleting this part of my blog before giving her a copy, she doesn't need to be thinking about what's going to happen next, I'll take care of that and to be honest, I've decided not to think too far ahead, it's too painful.
As I meditated this morning, I realised fear was the main emotion of yesterday, then I remembered the change curve, which is the different stages we go through when facing a change in our life.
The change curve can be used to acknowledge your way through any change whether it be this or going on a diet ;)
It looks like this;
Well I did shock a couple of years ago I think then I've spent that time in denial, yesterday I did frustration and low mood (and I dare say that will come back now and again over time), now I'm ready for the the next stage, learning to work with what we have and make changes where necessary. We'll be positive and take it a day at a time and laugh through it. (I'll cut out up to here before giving mom a copy of my blog x)
My mindfulness headspace this morning was all about joy and happiness and the importance of it, the sense of enjoyment and of play. It's something so many people neglect in their lives, it's important to have fun, to be silly and to laugh often. That's my intention today, to be silly, even sillier than normal. Playfullness, enjoyment lightens the mind, it gives us a sense of enjoyment and contentment and makes us feel happy in our relationships, it also rubs off on those people around us. Try it, you might like it, I intend to.
Yesterday, I enjoyed a bit of retail therapy, my go to calm place is a supermarket and I treated myself to Waitrose, yeah I had another coupon, £20 off, it has to be done! Now I need to stop shopping, the freezer is once again full and so is the fridge, but boy do I have some delicious food for this week, I can't wait to eat it all and it's all within my points and I'll be on track.
I made a cottage pie too, spent an hour in the kitchen, I wasn't in the Delia mood at all but I made myself as I knew I'd enjoy eating it. I did too, it was delicious, I topped it with potato and butternut squash which bought down the points total.
We watched Live at the Apollo on the night, it was very funny, a funny man named Tom Stade proper made me belly laugh, he's coming to Wolverhampton too, unfortunately on a Wednesday night so I'll still to watching him on Youtube or getting his video, then mom can watch him too.
Actually, I've just ordered his DVD from Amazon, that's £7 well spent, I do love my comedy, still got a Sarah Millican dvd somewhere to watch, I'd forgot about it, yeah I think I could have early onset ;)
So today's menu, ooo I don't even know what to have first, I'll actually go for the sell by dates, I know one is use by today so that'll have to be lunch, might have smoked haddock for breakfast, mmm nom nom, I even bought some hollandaise sauce, it's high but if I only have a spoonful on top it'll be ok. Yeah that's sorted, smoked haddock, egg, spinach and hollandaise sauce, with a slice of seeded bread maybe.
Right I'm excited for food, I'm off to have a super day filled with giggles and my wonderful members. Happy to go to work, love my life, how blessed am I. Better go make mom another cuppa in bed before she starts complaining ;)
Enjoy your day BeYOUtiful, remember happy people make healthy choices xx