18th June 2014
What if I fail? Oh
darling, what if you fly?
Earlier in the week I talked about how much I’d changed over
the last 10 years and I’ve just smiled again at one of those changes! I’m very much an all or nothing kind of
person, its part of my personality so ten years ago if I was “on a diet” I was
100% on it, no exceptions, no days off it, no excuses! If I “FAILED” as I would have called it back
then, I would’ve been so angry with myself and I’d probably have made the decision
that if I could be on track 100% then I’d be off track 100% and become the
expert at weight gain – heck I was good at that I gained 3 stone in a year in
2003 because I went from super fitness freak to super lazy cow!
I still have that personality trait, I still go to the
extreme when I do a project or have a task to do, everything’s always pretty full
on in my world ;-) it’s who I am, you can’t change everything, actually I don’t
want to change that side of my personality I quite like it. I have however learnt to control it better
especially where my weight and eating habits are concerned thankfully. Now if I’m trying to lose weight and I have a
bad day, it’s just a bad day and I restart, I allow room for error, I realise,
appreciate and accept it doesn’t have to be 100% all the time and I don’t fail,
I delay, I put the project on hold after all I’m a work in progress. I love the
version of me I am now, it’s not that I’m trying to make me ‘better’, it’s just
that I continually work on me to keep me healthy and ensure I focus on the
happy as sometimes life/work/stuff distracts and it’s important that I remind
myself who I am and what I want from my life.
So my ‘healthy’ ain’t been great the last week, it hasn’t
been horrendous either, I just haven’t tracked or really thought about what to
cook, I’ve just had what’s to hand or what was convenient. Why is that?
I put it down to time and being out of routine, mom and I like our
routine, mom because of her dementia, routine is good, out of routine for her
is stressful. For me routine means I
have time, time for thinking, time for shopping, time for cooking, time for
doing my fun stuff because I’ve made my life that way. I got me a job that fit in with my life
rather than a life that fit in with a job – it works for me, I love my job but
I love my life more.
The last few weeks have been particularly busy, I’m looking
to re-address that balance because like I’ve said before my “me time” is so
important and not just from an enjoyment point of view but also for my health,
when I have that work/life balance I eat better, I move more, I relax at the
right times and I stress a lot less.
When I have that work/life balance I find the time to do all the things
that need to be done, the things that I also want to do. Yes that balance is important for my stress
levels, someone said in my meeting yesterday “when you’re so busy rushing
around, you even forget to breathe!” You
know what, she was right, when she said it I thought don’t be silly, we don’t
forget to breathe or we’d die but the next time you’re stressed or rushing,
stop and notice it – you do forget to breathe, it’s not as regular or as deep
or as calm – its more quick gasps sporadically.
Another thing we miss when we’re busy are the smile moments,
yep we’re in way too much of a rush to have time to read jokes or listen to
someone saying something funny – we have things to do! I love to laugh and smile and giggle – you can’t
beat it, so that’s another reason to slow down so that we don’t miss those
moments, here’s a post from Facebook yesterday that made me smile;
I’ve realised my signal to slow down because life’s getting
too rushed and I’ll use it as my indicator in the future and it’s my blog, I
write my blog every morning, for me it starts my day, it helps me wake up my
brain, I find it a very therapeutic action and it helps to get my mind in a
positive start first thing. When my life’s
becoming too busy, too hectic and too rushed, I don’t enjoy writing my blog, or
I feel that I have to get it written quickly because I have so much else to do
and this is an hour I could be spending doing something else – I HATE THAT
FEELING! I enjoy writing my blog slowly
if I want to, to spend an hour in my own mind first thing in the morning before
anyone else in the house wakes up, whilst my phone is plugged in downstairs
charging so safely away from me, whilst I drink that first pint of water or mug
of tea – or both! Yes that’s my hour and
it’s important to me. I know other
people read my blog but that isn’t why I write it, I write it for me, it’s my
diary of sorts where I process all my thoughts in a morning.
Prioritise BeYOUtiful, recognise what’s important in your
life and make sure you make time for it/them – we only get one life (as far as
we know!) This is something we need to redo as often as necessary because life sucks us back into the fast life and we don't even notice we've started rushing again!
Have a great day, I’m going to be thinking about my meals
today instead of just grabbing, and if necessary I shall be nipping to a shop
for supplies, we haven’t had bread since Friday! What’s that all about….
Have a great day BeYOUtiful.
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