18th June 2014
What if I fail? Oh darling, what if you fly?
Earlier in the week I talked about how much I’d changed over the last 10 years and I’ve just smiled again at one of those changes! I’m very much an all or nothing kind of person, its part of my personality so ten years ago if I was “on a diet” I was 100% on it, no exceptions, no days off it, no excuses! If I “FAILED” as I would have called it back then, I would’ve been so angry with myself and I’d probably have made the decision that if I could be on track 100% then I’d be off track 100% and become the expert at weight gain – heck I was good at that I gained 3 stone in a year in 2003 because I went from super fitness freak to super lazy cow!
I still have that personality trait, I still go to the extreme when I do a project or have a task to do, everything’s always pretty full on in my world ;-) it’s who I am, you can’t change everything, actually I don’t want to change that side of my personality I quite like it. I have however learnt to control it better especially where my weight and eating habits are concerned thankfully. Now if I’m trying to lose weight and I have a bad day, it’s just a bad day and I restart, I allow room for error, I realise, appreciate and accept it doesn’t have to be 100% all the time and I don’t fail, I delay, I put the project on hold after all I’m a work in progress. I love the version of me I am now, it’s not that I’m trying to make me ‘better’, it’s just that I continually work on me to keep me healthy and ensure I focus on the happy as sometimes life/work/stuff distracts and it’s important that I remind myself who I am and what I want from my life.
So my ‘healthy’ ain’t been great the last week, it hasn’t been horrendous either, I just haven’t tracked or really thought about what to cook, I’ve just had what’s to hand or what was convenient. Why is that? I put it down to time and being out of routine, mom and I like our routine, mom because of her dementia, routine is good, out of routine for her is stressful. For me routine means I have time, time for thinking, time for shopping, time for cooking, time for doing my fun stuff because I’ve made my life that way. I got me a job that fit in with my life rather than a life that fit in with a job – it works for me, I love my job but I love my life more.
The last few weeks have been particularly busy, I’m looking to re-address that balance because like I’ve said before my “me time” is so important and not just from an enjoyment point of view but also for my health, when I have that work/life balance I eat better, I move more, I relax at the right times and I stress a lot less. When I have that work/life balance I find the time to do all the things that need to be done, the things that I also want to do. Yes that balance is important for my stress levels, someone said in my meeting yesterday “when you’re so busy rushing around, you even forget to breathe!” You know what, she was right, when she said it I thought don’t be silly, we don’t forget to breathe or we’d die but the next time you’re stressed or rushing, stop and notice it – you do forget to breathe, it’s not as regular or as deep or as calm – its more quick gasps sporadically.
Another thing we miss when we’re busy are the smile moments, yep we’re in way too much of a rush to have time to read jokes or listen to someone saying something funny – we have things to do! I love to laugh and smile and giggle – you can’t beat it, so that’s another reason to slow down so that we don’t miss those moments, here’s a post from Facebook yesterday that made me smile;
I’ve realised my signal to slow down because life’s getting too rushed and I’ll use it as my indicator in the future and it’s my blog, I write my blog every morning, for me it starts my day, it helps me wake up my brain, I find it a very therapeutic action and it helps to get my mind in a positive start first thing. When my life’s becoming too busy, too hectic and too rushed, I don’t enjoy writing my blog, or I feel that I have to get it written quickly because I have so much else to do and this is an hour I could be spending doing something else – I HATE THAT FEELING! I enjoy writing my blog slowly if I want to, to spend an hour in my own mind first thing in the morning before anyone else in the house wakes up, whilst my phone is plugged in downstairs charging so safely away from me, whilst I drink that first pint of water or mug of tea – or both! Yes that’s my hour and it’s important to me. I know other people read my blog but that isn’t why I write it, I write it for me, it’s my diary of sorts where I process all my thoughts in a morning.
Prioritise BeYOUtiful, recognise what’s important in your life and make sure you make time for it/them – we only get one life (as far as we know!) This is something we need to redo as often as necessary because life sucks us back into the fast life and we don't even notice we've started rushing again!
Have a great day, I’m going to be thinking about my meals today instead of just grabbing, and if necessary I shall be nipping to a shop for supplies, we haven’t had bread since Friday! What’s that all about….
Have a great day BeYOUtiful.