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Saturday, 7 August 2010

7th August 2010 - facebook email

Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention. Greg Anderson

Whoop Whoop it’s officially the weekend and I’m doing diddlysquat all day today! I’ve finally found my book so I plan to read. And because I’m not in a rush, this is a long one –sorry!

Last night I went to a ladies only dinner party to raise money for charity and it was great, very loud as you can imagine with 8 woman in one room but brilliant to listen to different personalities talk about the same subject, very interesting. If you can spare a pound this is Amanda’s sponsor page for the great north run http://www.justgiving.com/amandasmith-Wilcox.

So looking at the “we’re all different” theme, believe it or not, I’m quite a loud, outspoken person! Mmm ;-) but sometimes I am happy to sit back and just observe because then you learn more. We seemed to cover a variety of subjects, one of which was dieting of course, and we agreed that how you feel about yourself and your diet isn’t just about what you eat or what you weigh it’s about how you feel about yourself. Now I can say, I’m happy with who I am 100%, whatever I weigh because my weight doesn’t define me. However we live in a society that is constantly bombarding us with images and the media is telling us what we should look like and who we could be. Then there are those people in our lives who push their opinions on us – I’m sure you all have a few of those in your life. Some of us are so influenced by external forces that we have a hard time finding our own voices and expressing our authentic selves.

These tips could help you develop the confidence and conviction inside to express who you truly are. Stop apologizing to the world for being you!

Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks about you, you can’t be responsible for how others feels about you and how you live your life. So stop worrying about how they will react to your choices, and start getting real about how you feel! When you make decisions, do you think first of yourself or do you stress about what others will think or feel?” Give yourself permission to put yourself first, it’s not being selfish it’s self-care!

Do things because you want to, don’t feel obliged, give up on the guilt and decide that everything you do from now on will be because you want to.

Give up the image, are you being true to your real self! Do you portray on the outside who you truly are on the inside, or have you noticed you are trying to make out to be someone you think the world would rather you were. When the persona you show the world is based on fitting into expectations, ideals, and images set by others, you are living inauthentically. Decide right now to give up the false image and instead live from the inside out. And be your authentic true self. I did it the day I became a Weight Watcher leader full time and it’s so good not to have to try to be something I’m not.

Know what makes you unique - because you are! Every one of us is born with unique gifts, talents, and inclinations that we are naturally good at. When you find them and use them, these gifts lead you to real happiness and success. Think about Tiger Woods. Born to golf. No matter how much you practiced, you’d never be as great as him; he has a gift. You have gifts too. Start noticing the compliments you often get from people. There is sure to be a gift there.

Be clear about what makes you happy and stop trying to fit into the expectations that others have said you must achieve in order to be successful, happy, and accepted, and start asking yourself, “What really makes me happy?” Think about the times that you’ve been happiest. What were you doing? What did you have? Do the same for your most unhappy times. Compare the two to your life today and notice the gaps.

Know Your Emotional Triggers, we all have things that set us off, or that evoke an overly strong reaction. It is time to stop letting them control us! Pay attention to situations that push your buttons and maybe send you to the food cupboard. Be the boss of your emotions by having and taking responsibility for them, and don’t let them drive your life. To be your true self, you have to know what is under the surface motivating you.

Being your true self isn’t always easy but always act on what you know is right. It may require going against what everyone else is doing or thinking. Being real means being true to what feels right for you, even if it doesn't sit well with others. We always know what the best action is to take for ourselves, it’s just not always easy. Be committed to being you, even when it’s scary, and even when other people don’t like it.

It’s okay to have an opinion and to share it, so know what you believe and don’t be afraid to express it. Know your truth in all situations and share it with pride and conviction, even when what you have to say makes others uncomfortable, knowing that your voice deserves to be heard just because you’re you.

Let others see the real you! Be willing to be vulnerable. Share your most real self with the people around you and let them see all of you. The strong, the weak, the self-assured, the self-doubter, the funny, and the serious. Have and show your emotions fully—from sadness and happiness to anger and joy. When you keep the full range of your true self hidden, no one can know who you really are. While it may feel scary to be vulnerable, you’ll find that the more you show the real you, the more others will be willing to share their authentic selves too. This was the most difficult for me, in the past I’ve never shown my weaknesses to anyone, now I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did because it brought me the best group of friends anyone could ever have.

And finally never apologise for being you!

Unfortunately, the world is full of people, including our inner critic, who want to keep us small, to play along, and to be good girls and boys. When we listen to them by apologising for who we are, or discounting our contributions, thoughts, and feelings, we squash our true selves. Know that you deserve to be all of you, all the time.

Be brilliant. Be you. And never apologise for it.

Remember life starts NOW.

Are you living yet?!

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