1st July 2014
Just let it be. You may as well; it is. Everything moves in and out at it’s own time. You have no control. You never did; you never will. Byron Katie
Who would we be without our stories? That came to my mind yesterday when I was trying to be ‘more’ than I’m capable of and over-thinking a situation, and it wasn’t the first time I’d gone through this thought pattern over the last month, I thought I’d processed and got it all sorted in my head but those damn hormones interfered and bought it back to the forefront of my mind! Luckily I was aware of what was going on because of that thought, “who would you be without your story?” and I realised I was over-thinking the situation again, so rather than let it drive me crazy or get me worked up further I let it go.
I first heard that saying at a weekend workshop, it’s a phrase that Byron Katie uses and I just adore her thinking, she calls it ‘the work’ and it’s a way of identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause all the anger, fear, depression, addiction, and violence in the world (her words not mine). By doing ‘The Work’ she says you can undo those thoughts and allow your mind to return to its true nature. http://thework.com/thework.php
I don’t have to actually go through the process of doing the worksheet, I just ask myself if the thoughts I’m having are true and usually the answer is no, I’ve probably magnified a situation to make it out to be worse than it is.
The idea is to question your beliefs; she maybe comes across a little airy fairy if you’ve never read anything along these lines before but I think the idea of questioning your thoughts is great and I doubt if she’s the only person who’s ever come up with that concept but she was the first I came across and I’m grateful for that.
In a not so airy fairy way, if you are struggling with a situation, a belief, a thought then maybe ask yourself a few of these questions;
- What is the proof that this is true? Am I confusing a thought with a fact?
- Am I jumping to conclusions
- Is there another way to look at this situation?
- What is the effect of thinking the way I do? Is it helping or hindering me?
- What are the advantages and disadvantages of thinking this way?
- Am I using ultimatum or extreme words in my thinking? Such as “It always happens to me!” Does it – REALLY?
- Am I blaming myself for something that isn’t my fault?
- Am I taking things too personally?
- Am I expecting myself to be perfect?
- Am I expecting more of myself than I would someone else?
- Am I only focusing on the negative?
- Am I exaggerating the importance of it all?
- Am I worrying about the way things should be, instead of accepting and dealing with them as they are?
- Am I assuming I can do nothing to change my situation?
- Am I predicting the future instead of living it?
Just by asking myself questions 5, 9, 10, 13 yesterday I stopped my thoughts taking me to a place/situation that hasn’t happened and my favourite question I ask myself is always, “does it really matter, is any of it that important!” And the answer for me is always NO because I look at my mom and realise we all get old, we all have one life, we all go through crap in those years and we all end up in a box at some point, so what happens in-between is all just stuff and should be enjoyed not stressed about! It’s easier to just laugh at the madness that life throws at us or we are likely to go mad sometimes.
These questions can be put to any situation and I’ve just realised that they’d help for getting your head around what are your beliefs about you and your weight loss success and the journey you’re on. Anyway it’s all a bit deep I guess for a Tuesday morning, but I was processing it all yesterday and felt the need to write it today.
Sharing another of Byron Katies quotes before I leave you, “Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror”