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Saturday, 30 December 2017

What you think is as important as how you look & feel.

30th December 2017
Just because you are struggling doesn’t mean you are failing.

The hardest thing about having a break is that first alarm on your return to work, ma’an I wasn’t ready for that.  Now I’m up and sat with my glass of water, I’m ready for getting back to my lovelies this morning, I’m expecting a busy one.

I enjoyed my last day of my rest week yesterday, had my windows measured for my curtains, who knew there were so many choices as to the type of curtains you can have, even after you’ve chosen the fabric.  This is my fabric,
I just love flowers and I have my favourites, poppies being one of them, I love how they just grow where they want to, we usually have some California poppies popping (get it) their heads up all over my garden wherever it suits.  I really need to sort my garden next year, I’ve truly neglected it over the last 12 months and the front looks terrible, the back doesn’t look much better but the front makes it look like an empty house.  

Anyway not only is the lovely lady making me curtains, she’s going to do a cover for Alfie’s bed to match, oh and I’m having Roman blinds for my French doors in my kitchen, it’ll brighten the kitchen up but also stop me from scaring the neighbours in a morning when I go down half naked, I’ve always been of the mindset they shouldn’t be looking to be fair.

Talking of my kichen, he finished my moveable island unit yesterday, I’ve just got to oil it over the weekend, they extractor fans up and running, the cooker has been levelled out.  All that is left to complete the piece of splashback behind the movable unit, the skirting board and a bit of plinth he needed to cut, he’s going to order extra splashback on Tuesday and I’m going to have it as skirting board, so I’ll have walnut wood skirting – posh ay I!  I may not be able to travel and take holidays at the moment but I’m gonna have a gorgeous house to spend time in.  No if I could just get self-cleaning rooms that would be awesome.

I sat eating the last few peanuts in the bag last night knowing I was starting my journal today (I know I said I was starting it last Saturday – I lied), I might even be lying now because I normally weigh on a Monday, so I’m tempted to wait till then, but I can weigh one day and start my journal another. Anyway, I digress, whilst I was eating I was thinking I wonder how many people are force feeding themselves food today because they know they’re getting weighed by me in the morning and ‘going on a diet’?  I’m not going on a diet, I’m getting back on track and following the Weight Watchers Flex plan, I have a fridge full of cheese still and I intend to fit some of it into my meal plans over the coming weeks.  What I have realised over this break is I’m not as much of a fan of certain foods as I once was, some cheeses included, although I do still love a strong mature cheddar and the blue stuff, especially St Agur

As for pastry, I don’t care if I never taste it again, I used to think I loved vol-au-vents, truth is I like the fillings, same with quiche and tarts and pies, the actual pastry doesn’t do it for me, it’s greasy and gives me heartburn. 

I even think I’m over twiglets!  I don’t know if it was because I bought the mini ones rather than the regular but yeah they can come off my future treat shopping list.  There’s been a bread and butter pudding in the fridge all week that needs using by today and I’m not even fussed about having any of that.  I know it cost me 3 or 4 quid but honestly, I’m no longer eating food for the sake of it because I’ve paid for it, when the truth is I’m going to be paying again and again if I eat it just because, I’ll pay with the aftereffects of indigestion, heartburn and possible weight gain, then I’ll pay with the money needed to lose the weight, yeah I know there’s starving people in the world but me forcing bread and butter pudding down my neck isn’t going to help them. 

If you feel guilty about throwing food away, for every £1 of food you throw away, donate £1 to a hunger related charity, that’ll benefit both of you, you won’t gain any more weight, they’ll be able to eat, you won’t be able to afford any more junk – win/win.

There is going to be a gain today I know and that’s okay with me, I’ve had a wonderful rest, I’ve enjoyed watching daft Christmas films, crocheting and resting.  The only thing I haven’t really done that I do enjoy is cook, everything has come out of a box or packet and I have to say food wise, this has been the worst of many Christmas’s.  I am looking forward to some salmon, oh and chicken, my how I’ve missed my chicken and rice (I can’t believe I just wrote that), not to mention eggs, my morning eggs have been none eggsistent (get it!). 

I’m going to make my 40 clove of garlic chicken over the weekend, it will be thighs, that’s the beauty of Weight Watchers, no foods off limits.  It adds 10sp to a serving but it’ll be worth it, plus after eating that I won’t have any tea, also it’s still a damn sight less than takeaways or some of the rubbish I’ve eaten this Christmas. 

I will be starting my day with either a bacon or sausage sandwich at my meeting as I’ve bought some for anyone who fancies, it’s our new year’s eve, eve get together.  I’m hoping folk with put a donation in the charity tub as a thank you.  I’m yet to decide on my charity for this month.  We raised so much money in 2017, roughly ten grand for various causes – my members are amazing.  I do like the idea of local charities, as members get to see where the money is actually going, something to think on I guess. 

I’ve just deleted a paragraph because I didn’t want to talk about sad issues and for you to have to read it first thing in the morning, but you know what that’s life and it’s because we try to pretend these things aren’t happening that makes it worse, so here is what I wrote;

There are always the obvious charities - animals, kids, cancer, dementia but one thing that’s happening a lot is suicide in young people, mental health issues, did you know suicide is the leading cause of young deaths in the UK (over 200 school children a year).   This year we lost a family member to suicide, a young mother too, such a waste of a life and yesterday on Facebook I noticed that another member had lost her son in the same way, just awful.  I think even without raising money we can all help by being more aware of each other.  Mental health is real, it isn’t anything to be embarrassed about and it is something we all need to be aware of and understanding about.  http://www.wolverhamptonhealthyminds.nhs.uk/ is a local website that’s useful and https://www.papyrus-uk.org/# is a prevention of young suicide charity.  I think the one that sticks in my mind is the Samaritans, https://www.samaritans.org/about-us/our-organisation/national-suicide-prevention-alliance-nspa I think these days it’s the forgotten hero (or that might just be me), it’s rarely mentioned and yet does so much, volunteers would have listened to 1000,000 hours at Christmas, we need to spread the word of that number because I’m not sure younger people know it exists quite like my generation do.  I remember they helped mom out when we were kids, I remember when I worked in a fruit & veg shop their daughter rang them a lot.  I love this idea https://www.samaritans.org/support-us/real-christmas/me-you I know it’s not Christmas anymore but we could make New Year gifts of time to those we love,

From me to you, this voucher entitles ……… to a phone call with me, anytime.  You could write anything in that space.

Their number by the way is 116123 – you never know when it will help, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and the call is free.  Yeah today whatever money comes out of the charity tubs including what was put in prior to Christmas will most likely go to the Samaritans unless someone suggests something else.

I need to stop writing and start getting ready for work, I’m sorry if I lowered the mood a little, actually sorry/not sorry, sometimes we need to be reminded that it’s okay not to be okay and if we’re lucky enough to be in a fortunate happy place to remember that not everyone is and we can make a little bit of a difference.

Take care of you BeYOUtiful, we’re all important including you. x

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