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Wednesday, 13 May 2015

If you don't mind, it don't matter!

13th May 2015
I'm thankful for my struggles because without them I wouldn't have stumbled across my strengths.  Alex Elle
Why food is always my answer! But never solves my problems.

That was the first sentence I read this morning on Facebook!  The million dollar question for sure isn't it, I was going to try and sit and explain why we turn to food when we have problems, then I decided it's really not a subject that can be covered in a single blog.

Finally I thought to myself knowing the reasons WHY we do it doesn't stop us from doing it at all, acknowledging and accepting we do it is a fantastic place to start though.  I'm not really a big believer in focusing on the past, the why's make for interesting reading if you're studying a subject and trust me I have studied this subject in depth.  From the moment we're born food is used as a feel good/show love thing, moms use food as a reward system giving us a chocolate bar or a lolly pop when we've been good or to make us feel better if we've fallen over and hurt ourselves.  It all starts there. 

I've still not got the 'CURE' by the way if that's what you're hoping to find in this blog! 

Our relationship with food is emotionally charged and we rarely eat for nourishment alone that I know for sure.  For example, we eat chocolate because it tastes nice but also because it increases serotonin, the body's natural feel good chemicals.

Still got no 'CURE' sorry!

Everyone's "ISSUE", let's call it that, is different and how you deal with it will be too.  The only thing that we all share is that food won't solve any of those issues, unless it's physical hunger of course, but there are few of us who are ever truly hungry. 

Writing it down might help, keep a mood food diary, when you feel like you're about to eat something that wasn't planned, stop and identify how you're feeling, talk yourself through your feelings.  The main thing you're doing when you comfort eat is trying to eat your emotions rather than face the situation and feel those emotions. 

If you don't know what to write, start with finishing this sentence;

Overeating right now will help me to...

If you can, wait a minute or two before actually overeating, give yourself a moment to think, in that minute tune into your thoughts and feelings, what are you trying to distract yourself from, what don't you want to address?

Are bored, angry, anxious, sad, frustrated...  In that moment, label those emotions and experience them instead of distracting yourself with food, it might feel uncomfortable but it will pass.  What's it like to feel bored?  Do you even know, have you actually stayed with it long enough to experience it before going to find something to eat!  Is it so bad to be sad, wouldn't it be better to sit and cry for a bit instead of going and eating a packet of custard creams then really crying when you step on the scales that week!  What about anger, what does it feel like to seethe with anger or grind your teeth in frustration?  It's okay to be angry you know as long as you don't actually attack someone!  Feel those emotions, then release them.   
The next time you get that "I NEED TO EAT NOW!" feeling and it will be for emotional reasons because hunger creeps up on you it doesn't just arrive, DON'T, stop, wait and really feel the discomfort of not eating when every bone and fibre in your body wants to?  REALLY FEEL IT, that uncomfortable-ness, no matter how twitchy you might get, stay with it.  Trust me just as you'll get to the bottom of a packet of crisps or the end of a chocolate bar, those feelings will eventually finish, no feeling will last forever.  It will end.  And maybe then you can actually address the real issue/s you're trying to ignore. 

And you know what, if you still end up eating anyway, it's all good, it's ok, there's always next time, you can try again next time.  As long as you don't give up and give into doing your best to get healthy and happy.
In my meetings I see so many people rushing through their life, everyone's busy and stressed and no one ever seems to stop!  That doesn't help at all, so maybe today find 5 minutes, don't tell me you don't have 5 minutes, find them - no excuses, no bull, find 5 minutes to just sit and stare into space and do NOTHING! 
Do it for me BeYOUtiful, just sit and feel what it's like to be you, still and calm and quiet.  Have a good day. xx


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