2nd July 2017
10 years from now, make sure you can say you chose your life, not that you settled for it.
Well I did exactly what I said I would yesterday afternoon, I chilled with my mom and we started watching the series Scorpion that I've had on the Sky box since December and not got round to watching. I was actually really chuffed because normally mom doesn't like what I enjoy watching and of course she struggles to keep up with anything at the moment, but yesterday we watched a good 4 or 5 episodes and she really seemed to be enjoying them and knew what was going on. Yesterday was a very, very good day.
I often think when I drive and when I was driving yesterday I realised that one thing that's changed about me over the years is I used to build walls, now I have boundaries and it makes a massive difference. What's the difference? Well the walls were a form of protection, if I had them up, no one could hurt me, the down side of walls are they keep everyone out all the time and it makes you a real loner who kept everything to myself.
I've learned that healthy boundaries are much better and necessary, they allow us to protect ourselves and ensure we don't get taken for granted. Because people do take others for granted – we all do that sometimes.
You can't guarantee you'll never get hurt, heck sometimes people hurt us or we hurt others unintentionally, but boundaries help us to decide what we're willing to put up with. We to often forget to talk and be honest with each other.
This week in meetings we've talked about emotional eating and coping with when the going gets tough. We've touched on how to deal with difficult emotions rather than eating, I'm a big believer in acknowledging how I feel and going with those emotions,. To do that you have to tune into how you are feeling. Firstly turning into the physical sensations, this is noticing any physical sensations in your body, by scanning your body and describing any sensations you're aware off, for example a tightness in our chest.
Tuning into the emotions is about being aware of how we're feeling at any given moment. Most feelings can be narrowed down to 4 basic emotions, angry, sad, afraid and happy. All of them are okay to feel, some we prefer more than others of course, which is why we try and avoid the others, usually by eating!
Tuning into our thoughts is about being aware of what we're thinking, what we're telling ourself right now. We all have that inner dialogue and sometimes rather than hitting the fridge it might help to stop and tune to those thoughts whilst tuning into your emotions too.
This week I've felt sad and had mixed thoughts about a situation, instead of going straight to the kitchen, I talked to the person instead. Initially I'd ignored it but realised that's not the way, I need to communicate otherwise I'll end up with those walls being built again and I don't ever want that.
It's good to tune in whether it's to find out how you're feeling or find out if you're hungry. Start asking yourself what you need, is it food, love, something to do?
What is it that you enjoy doing, who is it you enjoy spending time with, what makes your life really good. Trust me it isn't just food. I was going to write it ain't food but you know what, food does help to make my life really good because I enjoy it and I enjoy it a lot! But it isn't the only really good thing in my life, thanks to smashing down those walls and replacing them with healthy boundaries my life is now rich with some wonderful people and as a line in 'Scorpions' went yesterday, “Blood doesn't make family, love makes family' and that's so true, I now how the most varied, extended, wonderful family. Yep I'm blessed.
On that note, I do believe that's sunshine out there, so I'm hoping to clear up my back garden today, but first I'll walk Alfie, then I fancy a bit of a walk round the shops, I need to return some stuff to Sainsbury's.
Here's to an awesome summer day BeYOUtiful, it's all good.