20th January 2018
Promise yourself better, then never look back.
Well yesterday was just another day, even if it was my birthday, although there were cards and gifts, plus a few highlights, plus one lovely lady knocked my door with a card and a gorgeous bunch of spring flowers, that made me smile, I do love pretty flowers. I had so many lovely messages wishing me a happy birthday but the best was from my besties son, because we then had a little catch up, I can’t believe he’s almost a grown up now, I’m so proud of the young man he’s become – I’m taking full credit of course, nothing to do with his amazing parents. Finally I got home from work to a card in my porch that I know she’d had to come right out of her way to push through and inside were a couple of lottery tickets, so if I win tonight, there may not be a blog in the morning.
It wasn’t all great, I had a menopausal, middle-aged moment where I stood in the shed screaming and kicking things! Yeah very dramatic, ragey and over-reactional but I suppose moments like that stop me from going slowly insane. It’s not easy being a grown up in my house, I won’t bore you with the reasons as we’ve all got our own crap going on but sometimes my mind takes everything way too seriously and gets all dramatic and dark on me, it didn’t last long, I walked to the shop, had a bit of a cry and was fine when I got back. Happy Birthday to me lol!
At least I get to escape normality for a couple of hours today, we’re going to walk to a local pub and have a couple of pints, before grabbing a takeaway and coming back to mom.
Now the one thing that’s truly fantastic at the moment are my meetings, my members are smashing this weight loss lark (I plan to jump onboard myself Monday), they’ve smashed 100 stone now, and it’s only the 20th January, how amazing is that! This years Flex results compared to last year’s Smart Points results are much higher for my members, it’s incredible. I want some of that, I really do.
Time for me to decide how to spend my 48th year on this planet, some days I feel trapped (like yesterday) but then I take a deep breathe and remind myself I chose this life. I also think about what’s doing my head in and ask myself how I’d feel if the person or animal causing it wasn’t in my life would I feel better? The answers always no, so I tell myself to pull up my big girl pants and get over myself.
I want to spend this year slowing down, I want to lose some weight which I’m hoping will help balance out these psycho hormones a bit and maybe my body won’t hurt quite as much when I wake up in a morning, yeah I know that’s part of the aging process but not too soon ay. As soon as the days start to get warmer and dryer I intend to start sorting out my garden, all my fence panels need painting, so does my shed, that’ll keep me busy for a while, it’ll tone my arms up too I reckon.
If I am to be ‘trapped’ in my own home/garden for the foreseeable, then I may as well make the most of it and enjoy myself here.
It’s easy to wallow, to feel sorry for yourself and to think ‘poor me’ but it’s much more enjoyable finding a way to enjoy the situation you find yourself in which is what I intend to do.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll probably still scream and shout sometimes but that’s who I am, that’s how I cope with my world, we all have our coping mechanisms, I’d say 5% screaming and 95% calm is all good.
Are you happy with your lot? If not why not – change it or change the way you look at it, cos being miserable SUCKS!
Happy Saturday lol, this was a happy little blog wasn’t it – NOT!