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Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Neglect or Nurturing?

19th June 2012

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Don’t you just love people who have all the answers!  Yesterday I had the pleasure of a conversation with one such human being and as it was very early in the morning, I wasn’t quite ready for it, and so instead of ignoring the bloke I played devils advocate and tied him in knots and sent him packing.  Silly time for someone to be an expert on weight loss when the weight loss leader has just weighed herself and gained a pound!   Yeah I gained a pound, I’m blaming time of the month – I’m sure it had nothing to do with the KFC or Pizza Hut!  That image above isn’t a lifeline it’s a graph of my weight loss over the last 13 weeks, mmm maybe it is a lifeline too lol. 
Anyway back to the bloke, he had all the answers, the doctors should stop giving “fat people” medication, instead they should send them to Weight Watchers with vouchers and if they don’t lose weight refuse to treat them!”  The entire conversation continued along that line and I was looking at this moron thinking to myself, bless you, you fool, you have absolutely no idea!  If only it was that simple, this planet wouldn’t have a weight problem.  If only another could tell you to lose weight and you did, wouldn’t that be awesome!  I asked him if he ate healthy all the time, had his five a day, drank his two litres of water and had less than 3 units of alcohol a day, he looked at me confused and said no, so I told him to shut up and go away, as he couldn’t have his opinions if he wasn’t even doing it himself!

Again, if only it was that simple, that all you had to do was say ‘right, I’m going to lose weight’, then you’d follow a plan 100% until the weight came off and you’d keep it off forever.  Mmm I wish, it isn’t though is it, I know lots and lots of people who want to lose weight desperately and do well for a while then stop and there are lots of reasons for them stopping.  Some of those reasons others would think are pathetic (not my words!) because they succeeded and didn’t stop when that situation arose in their life, or maybe they decide that person is weak (again not my words) because that person wouldn’t let a personal emotional situation interfere with their success. 

What they’re forgetting is everyone is different and no one knows what’s going on in someone else’s head, and no one should be judging another.  From experience I’ve found that sometimes the guiltiest of judging is someone who’s losing weight successfully, it may be their first time of losing or they might just be so in the zone they’ve forgotten previous struggles.  What most people forget where weight loss is concerned is it isn’t just about food, it’s about the mind, overeating and being overweight is often just a symptom of a deeper problem. 
Consider this, if someone was suffering from deep depression would that same chap from earlier have suggested if they didn’t damn well cheer up after having a couple of laughter sessions then the doctor should refuse to give them anymore of their medication?  No and hopefully no one else would either, well actually maybe they would because they don’t understand depression but hey that just shows their ignorance.

I have to say this photo got my goat a little yesterday too, (I was obviously feeling a bit narky & sensitive over that pound gain ;-> )   
Why did it bother me, because come on my bum is more like the one on the left than the right but I don’t neglect myself and I take umbrage to the suggestion that I do!  I’m guessing the one on the right might have been helped cosmetically to get that bum, but even if she wasn’t she's a very fortunate lady to have such a good structure, I know even with diet and exercise I’d never get it, just like I’ll never look like the photos in the fashion magazines because nature didn’t make me that way.  I’ve been the person who goes to the gym 6-7 days a week for an hour at a time, and ate a vegan diet for years, was I taking care of myself more then than I do now.  I don’t believe so no, I believe I now take more care of myself than I ever have, I look after the physical as best I can whilst maintaining my emotional health too.  I’ve found a balance, where I enjoy life and don’t beat myself up daily because I can’t achieve the perfect body like I used to when I was a gym bunny - I’m not saying all gym go’ers are that way but I was striving for the impossible.  I wasn’t happy in my skin back then even though I was a size 8, with a six pack and buns of steel.  These days my bum looks more like the one on the left but I’d replace the words neglect with loved and happy because I can stand naked in a full length mirror smiling, I never used to be able to.
I didn't think I've ever share this skinny photo of myself because I always used to be so self conscious but just to make my point;
 This was me striving for the impossible, I wanted to get to a certain weight to make me happy, but it wasn't my weight that was stopping me!  It took me a long time to realise that.   When I realised I couldn't get to that person, the picture on the left below shows you what happened next!  I stopped trying and stopped taking care of myself at all!  Then there's the photo on the right, that was taken about two years ago, I'm about 2 stone heavier than the skinny shot and 2 stone lighter than the miserable shot, but it's my favourite photo every because you can tell I'm happy, I didn't think I'd ever be brave enough to bare my body and the photographer said she'd never seen anyone so comfortable in their skin ;-).  Oh and if I'd turned round and had a rear view shot taken on that day, my bum would have been way closer to the left photo than the right one above.  I'm sat here smiling now realising I've come a long way and I'm very content, and even with 12lb to lose to be what the government defines as a healthy weight, I'm healthier than I've ever been right now and happy as Larry whoever he is.  

So that’s my little rant, love the skin you’re in, don’t judge others and remember a squidgy body isn’t a neglected one, cos this wobbly bum, wobbled wonderfully on a 5 mile fun yesterday after not running for two weeks or more, so I’d say I’m taking care of me ;-)

For dinner last night I finally made the chicken & sweet potato supper out of the cooking for one, it was fabulous, I used 4 times the ingredients so I could feed my friends, and there was plenty for 5 dishes in the end, so it was only 11pp a  plate, a very large plate.
Suns shining YAY, it really does make you feel better seeing it in the sky, have a great day and go be a nice person. xx

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