Staying positive

15th January 2019
Happiness is the thing we want most for the people we love most.  Put yourself on that list.

Well yesterday went tits up!  I can't even remember the morning really as it all changed when I got a text from my brother saying "Bev, I've been to Cannock to see a uthologist specialist. My PSA is 110 should be about 5 wants me to go to new cross say for bone scan and mri, he's talking bone cancer wants me to get checked ASAP'

As you can imagine the rest is a bit of a blur, he messaged again saying they've kept him in so they can scan him today, they were worried about his spine collapsing! WTAF, and on Facebook he's commented they're going to start hormone treatment to suppress the prostate and depending on scan results will depend on other treatment.  It's the first thing I've told mom in a long time and she remembered over half hour later, saying he was her first born. 

His daughters came to see me before they went to see him at visiting time, they were a good distraction, such lovely girls.  Now to wait because worrying isn't going to help, it's about as useful as a wooden rocking horse, gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.  

I tried my hardest not to emotionally eat but will admit to caving and having a bag of Walkers cheese and onion and a bit of Boursin on a couple of crackers, but it was my tea so not to bad. 

I'd already had my lunch before the text, I had

 and breakfast was

I finished on minus 20 after using all my FitPoints this week but this morning I've lost that all important 1/2lb to give me my 7lb milestone, that's made me smile for sure, I wasn't expecting it. 

My weekly review in my journal;

Best bits - the walking, I'm enjoying, the delicious food.  Realising it's okay to lose 1/2lb a week and enjoy my food and wine more.  Sneaking a half pound loss.  Fastening my walking coat.

The hardest bits - remembering my why and staying on track!  Walking when I was truly tired. 

I've learned - we it reminded more than learned, but this ain't ever going to be easy, some weeks will be easier than others and I'll do my best.

I've loved eating - everything!  Eating really tasty food and getting my cooking mojo back is brilliant. 

Next week my goal is - aiming for a maintain at least as it's my birthday on Saturday. 

Achievements / successes this week: Cooking Thursday afternoon on my busy long day.  getting back into my rain coat.  my 7lb milestone.

Right I'm off, moms just woke and I need to sort her, I'm distracted too, but it's all good. 

Here's to a very, positive day!  

Let's do this BeYOUtiful!  

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