17th July 2018
Strength doesn’t come from what you can do, it comes from
overcoming the things you thought you couldn’t.
I often get lost inside my own thoughts, I like it there because
I never think about negative stuff, I’m always looking for positives, solutions,
good stuff, it’s one of the reasons I find mom so challenging at times because
she can be so negative but anyway.
Yesterday this little beauty of a thought popped into my head;
If food was just like water and it all tasted the same and
eating was like breathing, something we did automatically without thought and
having no effect on our weight or wellbeing, what would you do with all those
hours you spend thinking/worrying about what to eat and your weight problem?
I don’t have the answer by the way, I don’t like even the
very thought of this possibility if I’m honest, I like thinking about food,
eating it is one of my great pleasures, planning, shopping, cooking, eating, I
just, love, love, love it and I know that comes with the constant challenge of
controlling my weight (see I can’t call it a weight problem because I don’t see
it as a problem, it’s just something I’m happy to do because the payoff of
enjoying amazing food is worth it), and I’m okay with that.
I stood in Sainbury’s changing room yesterday trying on
clothes and it has the surround sound mirrors, the ones I used to hate and be
terrified to look in, not anymore, I love me these days, all of me, even the Buddha
belly and the back fat those mirrors so kindly pointed out to me. There was a time I would’ve left those
changing rooms upset and miserable and promising myself I was going to do
something about my weight. Yesterday I
left smiling, not thinking about any of that, just thinking, these trousers
will be great for my days off and it’s my own fault I’m having to exchange
because I can never find my receipts.
Yep, I have good eating days and bad, my body is my body and
I take care of it as best as I’m able to on any given day depending on the
circumstances of my life at that time, whilst all that’s going on, I’m not my
own best friend, I refuse to beat myself up or give myself a hard time, I will always
support myself as best as I can and smile at my reflection in the mirror. Why, because I’ve worked hard on being in love
with that person I see in the mirror, she’s been through so much and is still
standing and I’m more BeYOUtiful that that mirror will ever be able to reflect
and so are you!
There’s enough to battle against out there, don’t add yourself
to the list!
Today I will step on those scales, it won’t be a loss I’m
sure, that’s okay it’s been a tough week and I went and did an online shop for
delivery on Sunday morning, that wasn’t a very good idea because I can add stuff
up to about half nine on the Saturday night which is what I did – oops, I now
have a couple of high pointed things still left in my fridge because I got
tempted throughout the day and distracted myself from moms mood by thinking
about food – oops! I have to laugh
because even Ocado tried to warn me against one purchase, how clever is
this;
When I went to check out it asked me if I was sure I wanted
the meal that was so high in calories and offered me an alternative, I remember
thinking, wow that’s impressive, I love how they’ve told me how much extra
exercise I’ll have to do to work it off, but I’m still having that one! I know have a Charlie Bigham chicken tikka
masala in the fridge that’s gonna cost me 24SP for a portion, the Jalfrezi was
14SP a portion, meh, it’s not like I’m going to have one every week, they’re
too damn expensive and I only had this one because it was part of a meal deal,
I ate the dessert from it yesterday, 17SP for a small dish of delicious, again
I rarely have dessert so I ate it very, very slowly with a teaspoon, lush.
I’m going to leave you with that thought I had, here it is
again because it is worth thinking about,
If food was just like
water and it all tasted the same and eating was like breathing, something we
did automatically without thought and having no effect on our weight or wellbeing,
what would you do with all those hours you spend thinking/worrying about what
to eat and your weight problem?
What do you spend your hours doing? Are you time poor, are you wasting hours on
things that don’t matter? Only you know
that BeYOUtiful, me I’m off to make another cuppa and some breakfast, thinking
eggs, not had eggs for a few days. Here’s
to a very great day regardless of those around you and remember when you catch
a glimpse of yourself in a mirror, reflections are often distorted by socially
constructed ideas of ‘beauty’, trust me you are BeYOUtiful regardless of your
weight!
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