9th July 2018
I’ll remember her love when she can no longer remember
How hot was it in the night! It’s niceand cool out there right
now, I’ve just walked Alfie and enjoyed the breeze. Today’s my brothers last full day with us, he
goes home tomorrow and his wife Alexis went yesterday, I drove her to the airport at
3, oh I’m so glad I’m not a driver in this weather so uncomfortable in a car at
30+ degrees. Then her flight got delayed
by 3+ hours, not good at all.
It’s been a long weekend of two halves, up until 6.30pm it’s
been wonderful, moms laughed and loved the attention, then after 6.30pm mom changes
and it all goes horrible, it’s called Sundowning and it’s a horrible part of Alzheimer’s,
hah as if there’s any not horrible part of this cruel disease. If you’re interested this explains it
https://www.dementiauk.org/understanding-dementia/advice-and-information-2/sundowning/
but in a nutshell, she gets quite obnoxious and not like my mom at all. See one
of the hardest parts of Dementia and Alzheimers is having to grieve the loss of
a person who is still alive, the reality is there’s no remission, there’s no
stopping it or slowing it down, there’s no cure and there are no survivors, it’s
just pure cruel, evil. Even worse
imagine being the person who has the disease, she knows that there are pieces
of the puzzle missing and that’s terrifying know you're going to get worse. I can still give my mom a hug but I miss her
every single day, that’s just so wrong, however we are grabbing the moments,
enjoying the chuckles, making light of the dreadfully embarrassing situations
she ends up in and taking it one day at a time, today we will do it all over again
and I’m sorry but I refuse to ‘worry’ about my weight at this time, it’s just
not a priority, my priority is making my mom laugh, making her feel as safe as possible
and trying to get her through all this.
If you woke up this morning in good health, then be
grateful, if you woke up this morning in pain, be thankful that pain is proving
you’re still alive, if you woke up this morning knowing who you were how lucky
are you!
I’ll keep reminding myself that every day may not be good,
but there is something good in every day. It’s all just temporary, so when life
is good, enjoy it, make sure you are fully in the moment, and put your damn
phones away. When life’s not so good,
remember that it won’t last forever and better times are coming.
If you woke up this morning thinking, “oh ma’an its Monday
already!” then give yourself a reality check and change that to “yay, it’s Monday,
bring it on, another week ahead to embrace and enjoy”.
I plan to get some healthy food in my belly, all I ate
yesterday was a bacon and egg sandwich for breakfast and pizza for tea, nothing
inbetween. I know that’s unlikely though
because it’s my brothers last day and I think he may want KFC, I can have a
healthy brekkie at least lol. I’ve got
the rest of the month to get my healthy back, it’s all good.
Let’s have a VERY GREAT DAY BEYOUTIFUL, no excuses, you can
decide what that looks like in your world. If you try and it don’t happen, know
you can start over, each and every morning xx
No comments:
Post a Comment