26th May 2016
You can't use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have. Maya Angelou
"I don't know what's the matter with me!" I hear that line a lot. It's usually when a member has lost their mojo or had a 'bad' week, fell off the wagon - you get my gist. Who says there's anything wrong, maybe there's a good explanation for how your behaving. Sometimes it's as easy as you don't have a lot of time and focusing on healthy eating and your weight loss has gone down the 'to do' list. Maybe there's other stuff come up that you're dealing with instead. Of course it could be as simple as hormones (although not much simple about them!) Your circumstances could've changed so you're out of routine. Maybe you've been ill. There are many reasons we can suddenly find ourselves off track, but one thing I know is blaming yourself isn't going to help, try understanding that it's just part of life and you're more likely to get back on track quickly.
"If I was happy with myself I wouldn't be trying to change myself." Another food for thought comment I read this morning... This was on a thread about being happy with yourself, apparently on a programme on BBC1 last night, the psychologist said
"You can't wait until you lose the weight to be happy, you have to be happy with yourself first or you will never truly be happy when you get there."
I've been saying for years, losing weight isn't a 'cure all', it doesn't solve all your problems and you should love yourself no matter what you weigh, what you look like, you don't judge your children on their looks, "Oh I like the middle one the best, she's the prettiest" or "My eldest lads my fav, he's the slimmest" I sure as hell hope you don't anyway because that would be truly awful.
So now put yourself in that place, you look in the mirror thinking, I'll love you more when you weigh a couple of stone less, at the moment I don't love you at all! Imagine saying that to your best friend, "Oh I don't like you as much this year as I did last year, you've gained weight over Christmas, so I'll love you again come summer when you've lost that excess weight. Until then, I don't think we should hang out, I'm going to find me some thin friends" Well would you and if you would, I'm glad you ain't my mate.
Loving yourself as you are now doesn't mean you don't want to take care of yourself or want to look and feel your best. For me it means that I refuse to beat myself up because I enjoy good food and wine, and find it difficult to indulge in those things and maintain what the official BMI chart tells me is an healthy weight. According to the official BMI chart, for my height I'm overweight! That doesn't mean until I get back there, I'm going to be unhappy with who I am and how I look. My weight does not define me! My weight doesn't make me less funny, less kind, less loving, less caring, my weight doesn't make me anything except maybe a little more likely to illness and that's not a given, I might carry extra pounds than some but I eat a damn sight healthier, I know woman (and men) carrying a good extra stone or two who are running marathons, I know at BMI weight folk who can't walk to the end of the street and have a fag in their mouth constantly.
"So how do you love yourself when you want to change so much" Realise you're only wanting to change the shell, not the heart and soul, it's okay to want to change your appearance, it usually means you're getting your body healthier which is an act of love, taking care of yourself is one of the most loving things you can do, sadly so many people see a weight loss journey as a way of punishing themselves not rewarding themselves.
Oh and those 'flaws' you say you have, who said they're flaws! Who made the "perfect" rules! Freckles - some see them as flaws, I think they're lovely, throw red hair into the equation and just beautiful. What are these flaws you all talk about, I ain't got none cos I'm me, yes I have a big bum, and my dimples are in my thighs rather than my cheeks - do I care - NO! I take my boobs off at night and hang them on a door knob, is this a problem to me, no I have no issue anymore with having the chest of a 12 year old boy, again it doesn't define me, I can't change it, so I've learned to love my shape. Some would call it 'pear' shape, I call it Bev shape. Then there's the scars, I'm covered in em, my bum looks like a map of Britain but you know what, every time I think about that I smile because it reminds me of a time in my life when I had a lot of fun and a night that I'll never forget! The scar on my forehead reminds me I'm lucky to be alive, the one under my nose tells me not everyone is nice but they have their own issues and the one on my throat makes me very grateful for the NHS. My wobbly belly is proof I have lunch with the ladies and it's the pressie I give to myself. No, I don't 'hate' any part of me, I'm not perfect in appearance or behaviour, I've done things in the past I probably should have thought about beforehand and possibly not done, but I have no intention on focusing on things I can't change and beating myself up for them. I'll focus on the here and now. I'll love me enough to want to take care of me each and every day and I'll share my love with those in my life and love them as they are warts and all.
So hopefully I've got my point across that you can be happy with yourself now and still work on changing yourself.
Enjoy your day BeYOUtiful, notice the smile moments as they happen, be happy, if you're not happy, ask yourself why, I'll bet it's really nothing to do with your appearance!