29th August 2014
The secret of having it all is believing you already do.
Blogging late this morning, had a lie in till 8am, check me out going out on a Thursday night after working over 12 hours, I’m not gonna lie I wasn’t keen on the idea, I had tickets to see Rose Redd’s EP launch at the Slade Rooms in Wolverhampton and as much as I enjoy her music the thought of having to change and go out on a Thursday night for the first time in years wasn’t making me ooze with excitement! Am I glad I did, she was incredible, not many artists are better live than on a record but she truly was, awesome voice, great personality which came across as she had the crack with the audience and her band, and not much can keep me awake on a Thursday night but she really did, I enjoyed it enormously.
Now on the way there, actually before leaving the house I thought to myself I need to have something to eat quickly before I go as I haven’t eaten since lunchtime, she didn’t come on till 9.30 and I’d be starving by then if I didn’t eat and that was my inner greedy bitch started to rear her ugly head! She suggested MacDonalds for quickness, as a treat because we were going out which we don’t really do that often so it was a special occasion! Erm “NO shut up”, she was over-ruled by the ‘I’m on day 4 of my 12 week journal thank you very much’ determined part of me that was having not of this sabotage! I had a quesadilla instead with a bit of cheese in, which did the job. However even then ‘inner greedy bitch’ was still being clever and manipulative, she knew damn well that a wrap with a bit of cheese wasn’t really going to fill me up, it was all part of her plan to try again later. She failed by the way, no sooner had we left the house to drive to town, about 1/2mile away from my house, she’d even made me go the other way to town – why? Because it took me past McDonalds, oh she’s good, she knows exactly what pushes my buttons. As we drove towards Maccy D’s she’s suggesting, “you’ve got ten minutes spare, why don’t you go through the drive-in and have a big mac, you’d love that and then you wouldn’t be hungry when you get there, that wrap didn’t really do the job did it, you’d love a big mac, you don’t have to have fries, it wouldn’t be the end of the world and you’re going to be standing up for a couple of hours – that’s almost exercise as far as Thursday nights are concerned!”
It was then motivated me had a realisation, we talk about emotional eating and comfort eating all the time but what was going on here was what I’ve christened “excuse eating” you justify your decision to overeat or make a bad choice with a damn good excuse, so had I chose to have the MacDonalds, my excuses would have been “I was in a rush”, “it was a special occasion”, “I don’t go out that often”, “I’d had a busy day”, “I was going to be standing for a few hours and I’d be hungry when I got home”, “It’s Thursday night, I’ve worked a 40 hour week already, I deserve a treat”, “I’m reminiscing of my youth when this is what we used to do”, oh I could go on and on finding excuses to justify this or any other occasion where I’ve overeaten or made a bad food choice, I’m sure I’m not the only one. I’m just glad that I had that thought last night because from now on I’m going to have the “Am I about to excuse eat?” (or drink come to that) question in the forefront of my mind, I have a feeling it will really help.
I don’t want to be looking for the baggy top to wear over the top of my jeans when I’m going out because I don’t feel quite as good as I usually do because I know I’m carrying a few extra pounds, I need to remember that when my good old “oh go on” greedy bitch rears her ugly head, I need to remind her we have a plan, we have a 12 week journal and we have a goal!
Here’s to not veering off track this week, remind yourself you’ve pressed the reset button, you’ve refound your mojo because you want to lose weight otherwise you wouldn’t have joined Weight Watchers!
Have a BeYOUtiful day. xx