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Monday, 25 August 2014

Do I really look & sound like that! Nooooo.......

25th August 2014
To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid!
Last Bank Holiday Monday of the year, this year has gone so quickly, is that an age thing, I remember when days used to drag and I used to say “I’m bored” a lot, I don’t really ever feel ‘bored’ now, there’s always something to do if I really want to look!  Looking at the weather outside, I’m choosing to do work today, will spend some time in my office on paperwork I thinks, then I may look to see if there’s a good film on the tele later, you never know, there might be.  I may even watch my favourite Christmas film in memory of the best Father Christmas there ever was!

Well I’m not gonna lie, after a bit of gardening yesterday and cooking dinner I didn’t do a fat lot of anything, I had a bad stomach so chilled and I actually spent a lot of time watching ‘ice bucket challenging’ I was going to say wasted a lot of time then but realised that the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time at all, so I did enjoy doing nothing all afternoon.  One of my BeYOUtiful friends posted that she found it harder to be on camera over my goal weight than to be frozen with icy water.  I hadn’t even thought about that if I’m honest until she posted it, then I realised I when I watched my ice bucket video I wasn’t concerned about my body size but I had been embarrassed by my voice, the stupid faces I put and generally not impressed that I didn’t look how I thought I looked ;) not I too was a little uncomfortable watching my own video, but I’m relieved to say it wasn’t because of my size, I may be over my goal but I’m not back to where I started. 

I remember a chat we were having Saturday, it was about why people want to lose weight which had been part of the week’s meeting chat and I said something along the lines of “For me it’s health, I don’t care what I look like really”, and my bestie replied, “yes you do, you don’t want to put weight back on” and instantly I realised she’s right, I don’t mind being a little overweight but I’d be mortified if I put on lots of weight and yes that would be partly from a vanity point of view as well as a health one.  Up to that point I hadn’t ever considered the possibility of gaining more weight I don’t think, I only ever think about losing it!  I now totally do appreciate how my mate felt when she posted that comment because although people see us day in, day out and they ‘know’ what we look like, heck I must pull those silly faces all the time, posting a video of yourself on Facebook is letting all those people who haven’t seen you for some time see you over your goal weight also giving people who think it’s funny to be mean to people about their size get the opportunity to do it to you! 

That conversation isn’t going anywhere I just wanted to process my thoughts in my head.  This weekend has made me realise as much as I ‘love myself’ and happy as I am with who I am and in my own skin, I absolutely do not want to gain weight which is why I will ‘restart’ my plan every Monday of my life if that is the only way that works for me!

So it may be Bank Holiday Monday but tomorrow is an ordinary Tuesday like any other Tuesday of the year, don’t let today undo your weeks success, have a think and finish these sentences;

My goal for this week is…….
My top 3 priorities this week are…..
Managing places – which weight-loss hot-spot will I tackle this week?
Building Routines – what small change can I make this week?

If you’re thinking I ain’t got time to answer then or I can’t be bothered ask yourself;

Why do I want to lose weight:
My personal goals are:

Still not working?  Go look in a mirror and if you can say you’re 100% happy with what you see, you’re not concerned about your size or your health at all and you’d be happy to have a video taken of you doing anything not just the ice bucket challenge and you’d be comfortable for everyone to watch it, then GO YOU and enjoy your week.

If you’re not, then go answer those questions and let’s sort ourselves out BeYOUtiful. xx

I had finished my blog there, then as I was saving it I thought to myself, isn’t it funny how we react to our own physical appearance, when I look at the lady who posted that comment on Facebook (and I’m not just saying this to make her feel good) I see an incredibly strikingly beautiful looking lady, I knew her via facebook long before I met her and I always thought she was elegantly gorgeous, classy looking and stylish, she has amazing long dark hair too and the assets my mom would notice would be her bust!  Then I met her and she’s got an acid tongue (which I adore btw) an incredible wit and is great entertainment on a night out, great fun.  When I watched her ice bucket challenge, I never noticed her weight gain, I really didn’t I just saw a fun lady having a giggle.  We all see different things when we look I guess and we all want to be how we want to be, years ago I wanted to be girly or stylish or lady-like then I realised that’s just not me, I will never be that image I admire in others, I haven’t got the patience or the talent or the personality to be that person so instead I embraced who I was, a gobby, face pulling witty bird and you know what, other people seem to love her so go figure.

Have a nice day and see yourself how others see you because you are truly BeYOUtiful whatever you weigh. xx

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