My body clock is bosted :)

Thursday 25th March 2021 

Make time to do nothing every day!

I've been awake since 2, I did go to bed before 7 though so it's all good, I've also sat in my chair playing on the internet since I finally decided I wasn't going to get back to sleep, so at least I'm still resting.  I'm looking for ideas for my living room, as it's now hospital bed free and I've put the disability stuff in the alley way until it's collected.  I've bought in the two armchairs from the summerhouse so when I can have people in my house, they have somewhere to sit.  Alfie has claimed on of them as his own and he's soundly sleeping beside me, every now and again I do something and make a noise and he lifts his head and gives me a look of disgust! 

I drove to take some stuff to a lady yesterday and when I got back and opened the front door, he ran out, straight past me to the car and ran all round it - he was looking for mom 💜 it'll take him time too won't it.  He did a bit of wandering in the garden where he just stands and stares confused, but he did have a play on the afternoon with his frog though so he's gonna be okay.  We both are. 

It's still feeling strange just spontaneously getting in my car to go for a drive to walk the dog round somewhere different without having to sort and plan it first.  Just being able to answer the phone or make a call for a chat without knowing it would cause mood swings and issues. 

I had some lovely glasses sent as a gift from a special lady and so I started early on the wine, hence the early night.  I woke up this morning reminded of why I don't have candles in the house, because I'd left the smelly one burning on the mantel piece, I stick with my wax warmers from now on, they're much safer and I have loads of waxes to melt. 

I filled every bin in the street yesterday morning with all the crap that I wanted rid off, I bet there was 20 bin bags full.  If I do that every other week when the bin men come, i won't need the trips to the tip never mind a skip lol.  I'll have to cut up the carpet when I pull it up, that'll fill some bags!  A few hours here and there is enough to stop me getting bored (I actually don't think I'll ever be bored again) and gives me lots of time to relax and restore myself. 

I love that image at the top of the blog, because we really do all need to rest more, whether it be something soulful like the image suggests or just having some time out to binge watch a box set, watch a movie, have a nap in the afternoon, anything to remind yourself we're human beings not human doings - we don't have to be on the go all the time. 

I've got so much in the house I want to do but I need to pace myself, I'm such a bull at a gate, I bloody hate decorating too so that's another reason I won't rush myself.  I'll start with the living room whilst I decide and mull over what do do with moms room and my office, it's take me forever to sort the crap in my office out.  What I do know is I want lots of storage for all my wool and stuff but I want it so it's not visible.

I'm thankful for this chair I've bought in as it's doing my back the world of good, cos you have to sit up in it, no slouching possible, I am still able to cross my legs like a little buddha and sit with my laptop on them though - well if it's a good enough pose for meditation! 

Ooo food, I nearly forgot, if you haven't tried these yet, you must;

So nice, from Aldi, a gift from an old friend. 

I've finally been asked when out with Alfie how my mom is and it wasn't as difficult telling them my news as I thought it might be, so many stopped asking me as when they did I just used to reply 'shit' so it was sort of a conversation killer!

What shall I do today, I'm going to sort the cupboards under and to the side of the sink, possible the airing cupboard in moms room (I might start calling it the spare room now her things have all gone from there, or I could be posh and say the guest room) and if I've got any inclination left after that, I want to do the upstairs bathroom. There's always tomorrow if I get to the point I've had enough, Alfie and I have two good walks a day to have oh and I have Elle coming for a chat (all socially distanced and lockdown rules being adhered to of course).

Small things or comments trigger my tears, but they are healthy cleansing tears that remind me how amazing my mom was and that these last few years weren't the mom I remember, the mom I remember was full on lovely and funny and random, we laughed constantly and had so much banter between us, a bond no one could break, not even the demon that was dementia even though it tried. 

I need some breakfast, I'll hungry this morning, my belly is rumbling, another cuppa would be good too. 

Here's to another stress free day xx 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me