Beverley has prepared the content of Bev's World irresponsibly and carelessly. She therefore disclaims all warranties, express or implied, as to the accuracy, originality or completeness of the drivel presented on this blog or on other linked websites or on any subsequent links. She vehemently denies that the information may be relied upon for any reason. Beverley shall not be liable for inflicting laughter, shame, disgust, torrents of tears and the eventual desiccation or crashing boredom on readers.
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Monday, 30 November 2020
Sunday, 29 November 2020
Saturday, 28 November 2020
Friday, 27 November 2020
Thursday, 26 November 2020
Two men looked out from the prison bars, One saw mud, the other saw stars.
I could start this blog by once again talking about how little sleep I've had, but the truth is how much sleep I've had isn't important, the turmoil my mom is experiencing, the fear and confusion she's going through is what matters. She was really confused last night, woke up not knowing where she was, wanting to 'go home', asking where my sister was and this ws before midnight. I tried to settle and calm her but half hour later I could hear her trying to open the front door so I came down again, she was in such a state, I stayed and comforted her, she told me she loved me as we put our foreheads together and had a cuddle. I thought I'd settled her again but it wasn't happening, she was calling the police to come and save her and the 'little boy' upstais, and by 1am, I decided it would be easier to stay with her, so I made her a cup of tea and sat with her, she eventually started to snooze but I knew if she woke and I wasn't there she'd panic again so I lay and snoozzed on the settee that looks big enough for me, but isn't lol. It's 6am now and she's asleep still. Twitching and flinching, making noises, talking and shouting in her sleep, she doesn't even get any respite when she's asleep. Okay so I haven't had much sleep, but I'm not in distress, I'm not going through the hell she is and if I can be here when she wakes to calm her a little, then a crap nights sleeps worth it.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band — he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you and make you smile.”
Making other happy, despite your own situation can bring incredible satisfaction, shared grief is half the sorry, but when happiness is shared, it's doubled. If you want to feel rich, could all the things you have that money can't buy and remember today is a gift, that is why it's called the Present.
Today, pay attention to all that you have, go out of your way to make someone smile, realise that nothing if permanent. Mom has an awful day yesterday from the moment she woke, she didn't know who I was, I had to call my sister round to reassure her, but later in the day we had a few glimmers of light. I had to laugh when I did a call for Utility Warehouse to quote for a customer, I said something like, so your electricity usage is, followed by the figures and mom sat next to me piped up, and your gas usage..... she's obviously sat listening to me say these words so many times and something in there still works because she said the next time! I won't stop trying to communicate with my old mom that's trapped in that dementia hell!
Stay positive, focus on your goals, love your tribe hard and get stuff done! It's Thanksgiving in America today and for many Thanksgiving is a day to spend time with family and friends. Thanksgiving Day is a celebration of the harvest, and a time to give thanks for blessings over the past year. Now I know it would be easy to say, humph not a lot to be thankful for in 2020, but that's not true, we're surviving the worst pandemic, so look a little harder to find the things you're thankful for!
9 years ago I was in New York with my besties, we'd done the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade which was something I'd wanted to do for years and had the most incredible holiday, I'm thankful that I got to do that. Okay so this year, it'll be a chicken dinner and I'll try and find the parade on the tv, I'm working most of today until 7 anyway!
Here's to a good day xx
Mwah, luv ya
Love me xx
Wednesday, 25 November 2020
Life is like the seasons that change, we go through our summers, autumns, winters and springs. you cannot change the seasons but you can change yourself. Learn how to handle the winters, they come right after fall with regularity. Some are long some are short, some are hard, some are easy but they always come right after fall, so remember it isn't going to change and deal with them.
Each of these seasons of life bring with them valuable lessons that we can use to help us move forward in a better way. The winters won't change but you can and it's not what happens that matters, its what you do.
It's so true isn't it! We can't change these things that are happening, crap things happen every year but we deal with them. Instead of wishing for bad and difficult things not to happen, work at making yourself stronger to handle them. Work at being stronger, learn so you are wiser and focus on being better.
Stronger. Wiser. Better.
NOW is not the time to quit, now is the time to dig deep and focus on your future, if you've lost your job, don't be afraid to change the type of job you do, like the pic above says be brave enough to suck at something new, I'm well out of my comfort zone with this new thing I'm doing, I love my phone, but I rarely use it to actually ring people, I'm all about the facebook, the messenger but I've had to dig deep and ring people, at first it was intimidating, I've had to get used to the word NO, and not take offence and now I actually enjoy talking to people on the phone.
It's not the time to quit you hear me, I know you may be tired, me too and you may want to give up but it's time to remind yourself of how many obstacles you've pushed through in the past and all you have as a result of not giving up.
Life is a process isn't it, you're going to have the ups and downs - that is one thing I can guarantee, growth, success it's all a process, what isn't a process is quitting or settling, don't you want to be the best version of yourself?
Your best self doesn't want you to give up on it, I'm realising this myself, I'd settled to a life of taking care of mom and putting my life on hold believing I hadn't got a choice and there wasn't another option. The truth is there's always options, there's always alternative ways, I was just choosing (yes choosing) to ignore them.
Think for a minute of the time you haven't quit, the things you didn't give up on which resulted in you achieving things or getting something you wanted. I didn't give up on learning to drive a car, I was really, really good at failing tests, but with persistance I got there in the end. I didn't give up on making a good curry, it took me till a month or two ago before I made one I was proud of, hell I'm 50 and it's taken me that long!
The thing about not giving up is you've got to really want the thing you're not giving up on? Do you really want to be your best self?
How can you remind yourself of what you want? I've got a goal at the minute and I've put it as my home screen on my phone so that every time I pick it up I see it and I'm reminded of it's importance.
I'm going to cook a delicious roast chicken dinner today with lots of veggies. Why? Because I know that's really healthy, I also know that because I've got my Marlie's Menu coming at the weekend, it's unlikely I'll be wanting to cook then nor that I will need to as Marlies will be plenty to satisfy me.
I'm hoping you're not going to quit, that like me you plan to survive this Winter, knowing that Spring is in sight and when it gets here hopefully we'll be getting back to some kind of normal as a country too.
Until then, let's just focus on the day ahead and how we can make it as healthy as possible.
Mwah, luv ya
Love me xx
Tuesday, 24 November 2020
I will achieve it because I know it will take the pressure off my knees, I'll be able to get back in my work clothes, I won't have heartburn as often because I'll be eating better and losing 5% of my body weight improves my overall health.
Monday, 23 November 2020
It's good isn't it, it's exactly what I asked for too, the colours are perfect, just like the ones I see when I walk the canal paths.
Sunday, 22 November 2020
Your vibe attracts your tribe - change your frequency!
I'm excited for my besties new venture, see the image below, I'm definitely going to have me a consultation, my skin feels horrid at the minute, got spots coming out on my chin, I need help and I never know what to buy plus £20 is a bargain! If you're interested it's Victoria Lawrence on facebook.
18) Name a person you love - why?
Saturday, 21 November 2020
Thoughts have energy, make sure yours are positive
Friday, 20 November 2020
Friday 20th November 2020
Don't wait - start!
Woke up this morning absolutely thrilled to realise I'd had 6 solid hours! Yeah it was 4ish but who cares, I've slept and better still so has mom, she's still up there too, it's so wonderful to know she's not been scared in the night or distressed. Especially as we had a good day yesterday too. Yes her legs not great but hey, it's being looked after, all is good.
Smile moment number two, I've been paid from my new job! I'm over the blinking moon, I'm not gonna lie. Last month I switched all my bills to UW, then I decided to join as a partner to work from home, part time and top up my income! I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit suspicious - it all seemed a bit too good to be true, I remember asking the lady doing the appointment "how do I know this isn't all a load of bull and you're just trying to con me?" To which she assured me, her second job was with the police and they're not allowed to do anything even slightly dodgy lol. We've since become good buddies, she's one of my new favourite people! Today I've been paid for the first time & I'm absolutely thrilled, it's more than covered my UW bills for the next 12 months! I've got a bottle of bubbles which I won and I'm going to enjoy it later - or shall I have a glass for breakfast 😂 no I won't I have a few appointments today so need to stay sober, I'll have a glass later though to celebrate not being scared about how Im gonna survive financially for the immediate future! I'm so grateful to have found this opportunity as I know so many are struggling right now, if you or someone you know might benefit from doing the same - give me a shout.
So what's going to be my third smile moment this morning? I'd love it to be moms leg looks better when the nurses come today, that's worth more than any money in the bank!
I do believe my Marlie's menu food is coming today so that'll be another smile moment wings and champagne for tea, now that's living 😂
Back down to earth though, I've gotta change the beds this morning and do the laundry, yep it's not all fun and games, but if I can continue earning, maybe I can afford to get me a cleaner, that would be amazing!
After a really tough six months, things are starting to look brighter and I'm so pleased. I really believe connecting with others is helping to lift my energy levels so here's to staying in touch and making the effort to catch up.
Here's to a fab Friday 😘 let's make it an awesome one.
Mwah, luv ya
Thursday, 19 November 2020
Wednesday, 18 November 2020
Wednesday 18th November 2020
I've just had a lovely giggle with mom, she's had a better night than the night before, still waking but only two or three times rather than every hour, we had another visit from a nurse yesterday, they're trying really hard to make her comfortable. I also had a call from mom's dementia nurse and she's going to talk to moms consultant about her sleep issue, then visit us a week on Friday. She's snoozing now bless her hear.
Oh I had cod in butter sauce with mash and peas for tea last night, it was blooming delicious, if a little small, not gonna lie I had two of them but at 6SP for both, it's all good. Enjoyed some cold toast too, it's the simple things in life for sure that make me smile.
Not sure what's on my menu today, but I have a cauliflower that needs using. Oh I do know, I want a slow cooker chicken on sage and onion stuffing,nom nom, I could have some cauli with that and maybe make a cauliflower cheese with the other half or some cauli rice.
I'm making a conscious effort to reconnect with people, I'm really aware of since covid my interaction with others has got less and less and to be honest because of moms illness it was already limited, so I'm messaging people I haven't spoken to in a long time, picking up the phone for a chat and checking in with old friends. I can honestly say I feel so much better than I have been feeling, we really are social creatures and need to connect.
I was chatting to Rachel yesterday, she's not well at the moment, her condition has meant that she had to stop working in the successful business https://www.valetforce.co.uk/ she's built up with her husband, he's doing it without her now, but she still wanted to feel the worth of providing for her family, so they started to make hand made luxury car sprays for their customers cars, she's now taken it further and is hand making perfumes, car fresheners, carpet fresheners, eco friendly spray mists and reed diffusers from scratch - how clever is that! She's do it all herself, leaflets, website, everything - absolutely brilliant. Luxe Handmade
I think this year more than ever, we've realised we need to support each other, local business aren't only your local shops, instead of jumping on Amazon, ask yourself is there someone local who could supply this, as on Facebook for recommendations. The best business work this way, through recommendations, it's how UW who I know work for part time get all their customers, they don't advertise so they can pass those savings on to the customer.
I know we're in lockdown but make an effort to stay connected, it'll help the time go faster for sure.
My plan for the day is to try and distract mom when she's awake so she forgets quite how much pain she's in a little, look forward to walking Alfie and to catching up with some more people, oh and ordering myself something that smells good.
Hope you have a good one too.
Mwah, luv ya
Tuesday, 17 November 2020
Well it's 5am and we've had one of those nights lol, first wake up was 11pm 'Is there anybody there!', then she went downstairs. Alfie woke me next at midnight, he wanted to go out, I thought he just wanted to chase the foxes but he actually did need the toilet so I couldn't be angry with him. Then mom woke me up every hour until I gave up at 3.30 as she was singing, she wanted a cuppa and the heating turned up! The fact she was singing made me glad that she was happy this morning despite her pain bless her.