Beverley has prepared the content of Bev's World irresponsibly and carelessly. She therefore disclaims all warranties, express or implied, as to the accuracy, originality or completeness of the drivel presented on this blog or on other linked websites or on any subsequent links. She vehemently denies that the information may be relied upon for any reason. Beverley shall not be liable for inflicting laughter, shame, disgust, torrents of tears and the eventual desiccation or crashing boredom on readers.
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Friday, 26 February 2021
Thursday, 25 February 2021
To be honest I'd rather be drinking tea with my unicorn that whatever this Thursday business is because it's been a long day, says me at 7am lol!
My life's a bit sucky at the minute, but I'm thinking about my future and what I want it to look like, I'm sure it'll be a lot longer than June 21 for me but hey, I have my wine, I'll be fine.
Wednesday, 24 February 2021
Tuesday, 23 February 2021
Monday, 22 February 2021
Sunday, 21 February 2021
Saturday, 20 February 2021
Friday, 19 February 2021
Kind words can be short but their echo can be endless.
Appeal and update
We would like to bring you all up to date with where we are with getting the sanctuary open. It has taken us longer than we would have liked due to the on-going Covid and transport situation which have both meant our fundraising and normal donations have seen a dip, but thanks to the previous support received we are happy to say that all the initial works we set out to do will shortly be completed and for the sake of the animals waiting who are desperate for our help we need to get this ball rolling.
For this we need YOUR help
We now have the opportunity to purchase some fantastic cabins which means the sanctuary could open, we already have these 7 pups waiting….. We are looking for help with 4 Blue kennels at a cost of £350 each, these will be used for puppies or animals recovering from illness.
If you would like to donate for one of these wonderful cabins, then a plaque with a name of your choosing will be mounted on it, maybe in memory of a loved one or pet, whatever you choose. Alternatively maybe a few of you would like to share in donating for one and agree on your special name for it, whatever any of our supporters can do to help will enable us to get the sanctuary OPEN to get help to many of the dogs that are desperate.
We also require 3 of the larger green cabins at a cost of £600 each and we are excited and very happy to say that a fabulous supporter who wishes to remain anonymous has come forward and donated for these plus the extra costs to get all the cabins delivered to Fethiye.
If you are able to help please get in touch with me direct via pm or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you would like to make a donation you can do so via this paypal link or by bank transfer 30-90-89 37878068
Thursday, 18 February 2021
Wednesday, 17 February 2021
Tuesday, 16 February 2021
Thanks to a wonderful lady I was able to have a short facetime with mom but I'm not gonna lie, that broke me, what is it they say, ignorance is bliss - what you don't know can't hurt you and that's definitely true. Seeing her there, all confused and pissed off, she was talking about not going with 'him' she'd had a bastard for over 30 years, so in her head she was remembering dad and those years were tough enough the first time round without reliving them. She didn't seem to recognise me either but when I lifted Alfie up she knew him, I had to remind myself later that she can be like that at home when I've got Terry on facetime she's been confused over who he is.
Mom's going to be in for a couple of days at least so my plan is to sort my house, I gave the wetroom a deep clean yesterday, floor to ceiling and the living room. Today will be the kitchen and my bedroom, all my clothes are in bin bags because of the move round and I got rid of the cupboard and sideboard to accomodate the bed in the living room, so I need to work out storage in my bedroom. That'll keep me busy today. I have no work today so can focus on the house and take advantage of situation.
I will chill out this afternoon, watch a movie and rest, whilst I can because I have a feeling things will be very difficult when she does come out, it'll take a time to settle her down, if I'm able to at all!
I did do work yesterday too, signed up a new customer and partner, also supported Elle with her customer, I had a busy day actually yesterday, so I will potter doing my tidying today, I do love a tidy house though, not gonna lie.
Have a good day, take care of you and stay safe.
Mwah, luv ya
Love me x
Monday, 15 February 2021
Well no blog yesterday and in case you didn't see from my Facebook page that was because we ended up in A&E. I'll tell you all about it because that will save me talking through it over and over again which is difficult.
Mom called me around 2.30am, nothing new there! But when I got down she said she had a pain in her chest, she said something she'd eaten was stuck. Other than that, she didn't look ill, she sure as hell wasn't acting ill, she was being stroppy with me, so I settled her back down but 40 minutes later she shouldn't me again and I said shall I call a doctor, when she replied yes I knew she wasn't right because she hates the idea of doctors/ambulances/hospitals.
I did the 111, then they put me onto a doctor who then send the Paramedics and they did some tests, her temperature was over 38, her heart was in AF (irregular and often fast heart rhythm), they believed she had an infection and said the pain in her chest could be being caused by all of these things. They agreed to me going because she wouldn't go without me, plus mom has this knack of telling the doctors what she believes will get her out of the situation and back home! When in ambulance and asked about the pain in her chest - she said it had gone!
Once in A&E, they took bloods, did a chest xray, took two Covid tests, the first one came back as negative pretty quicky, this one is being trialled by New Cross and is pretty accurate but because it is a trial they do the second on which takes longer to get the results, I don't know the result of that one still yet.
Mom soon got to the point where she wasn't impressed and wanted to go home, but that wasn't happening! All the hospital staff were wonderful, the doctors very informative, open and honest which was much appreciated by myself.
The chest xray showed lots of fluid on her lungs, a chest inflection and the doctor said her heart was enlarged from heart failure and if they don't sort these things out she'll most likely have a stroke. They let me stay as long as they could until we got mom up onto a ward, the nurses there were great with her too and although she was dreadful, scared and vile at times she was also loving, jolly and funny singing 'Right said fred climbing up the ladder' on her way back from chest xray and flirting with H the porter who managed to cajoal her up to the ward! Thankfully when I left she was okay and I think had met her match in a lady in the opposite bed.
I walked home, I needed to breathe, it was cold but only a couple of miles, I hadn't been back long when the doctor called to update me, they said their plan of action was antibiotics for chest infection and to increase her water tablets. They were going to do a jelly scan of heart and the chest xray had shown there was a shadow on right side which apparently was there 5 years ago but is now bigger, so they’re going to do a ct scan. Her respiratory isn’t good because she keeps taking off her oxygen and her sats drop to 85 and she’s demanding to come home! The doctor also said physio therapist and occupation therapist will be in touch with me in time, but that if her heart fails we both agreed to DNR because of the fragile condition of her body and mind in general.
I had a call around 7ish from the nurse who I'd left mom with and she told me they'd moved her to C24, then I called and spoke to someone on C24 to ask how she was and as expected she was being a bugga, wouldn't let them change her dressings on her leg but did eventually, insisting to go home and apparently hates all five of us for leaving her there!
The doctor who called me yesterday afternoon said their plan of action was antibiotics for chest infection, increase her water tablets. They were going to do a jelly scan of heart and the chest xray had shown there was a shadow on right side which apparently was there 5 years ago but is now bigger, so they’re going to do a scan. Her respiratory isn’t good because she keeps taking off her oxygen and her sats drop to 85. She’s demanding to come home!
Doctor also said physio therapist and occupation therapist will be in touch with me in time, but that if her heart fails we both agreed to DNR because of the condition of her body and mind in general.
I'm not going to lie, when it became obviously around 8am yesterday morning that mom wasn't coming home, I felt a relief in my heart that I may get a full nights, uninterrupted sleep! I also cried seeing how distressed she was at being there and when I got off the phone from agreeing to DNR and hearing how mom was I sobbed uncontrollably until I could barely breathe, but I calmed down and made a cup of tea, lay on her bed in the living room and feel asleep for a couple of hours.
Alfie had I had a meat feast, I cooked a bag of bbq pork ribs and we shared them like savages together with a lovely piece of steak my bestie had bought me, I had mine with mushrooms and bread, alfie had his plain lol.
He's snoozing at my feet right now, content again that I'm home, my sis said he went hysterical at her when she came round yesterday morning after we'd been gone a couple of hours and he sat in the porch until I returned, then barked and bollocked me for leaving!
We've had sleep, I woke a lot, but I've managed 8 hours thankfully. I've got 3 appointments today and a business launch tonight to keep me occupied. I'm hoping to have the energy and desire to do some cleaning and sorting whilst I can because it desparately needs it and I know I'll feel better when it's done.
Whatever happens with mom, it's life, of course I love her and want her to be well, but she's never going to 'get better', she wishes she could die numerous times a week so a part of me yesterday had wished instead of waking up with a pain in her chest that she hadn't woken up. I'd like her to just go to sleep and slip away. At the same time, I don't want her somewhere that's she's scared and unhappy, I'd rather she was here doing my head in.
Oh deep sigh, it's not going to be an easy week is it, but you know what, my mom made me and grew me strong, she brought me up to believe I could handle anything and everything and in the last 51 years, I've done exactly that, so why change now!
Not the valentines day I'd imagined, but one I won't forget in a hurry! It was lovely to know so many people cared and got in touch, thank you for that and apologies if my response was short or ignored, I put my messages on silent in the end so I could sleep, I had to keep the phone on in case the hospital called.
Mwah, luv you
Love me x
Saturday, 13 February 2021
Even on your bad days, be kind.
Well yesterday turned out to be quiet a day! I was expecting the bed for mom next week so Dan was coming yesterday afternoon to help move stuff ready, then at about half eleven, the bed turned up! So there we were will a bed in the middle of the living room - chaos. The conversation repeatedly until Dan arrived was, 'were's it going? who's having the settee? who's having the side board? is it empty, are they paying you for it? Then once they'd moved everything, which was quite the challenge, the questions stopped and the statements started. 'you needed make it up, I'm not sleeping in it! I'm not sleeping in that! Will you take me home now!' Happy days...
My stats as of today
I started at - 200lb
I wanna weigh - 165lb
I plan to lose - 35lb / 17.5% of my body weight.
The scales 24/1/21 - 189lb
I've already lost - 11lb
Yesterday I stepped 12,055 times
I covered 5.13 miles
I burned 2446 calories
I consumed calories - too many again
I was active for 38 minutes
I slept 4 hours 49 mins
#walk1000miles challenge - Total YTD = 154.45 left to walk = 845.55
My 3 good things;
1) Understanding and helpful people
2) The sunrise was glorious
3) Having half hour to myself with a glass of wine before getting into bed
Today is Galentines day, the day when we should all take time to appreciate the importance of friendship, some of the most important relationships in our lives! My friendships have kept me sane over the years, they definitely help to lower my stress levels and help me cope with the drama in my life. Did you know a strong social network may also reduce the risk of high blood pressure, decrease depression and even help us live longer lives.
Quality over quantity is what matters most when it comes to friendship, I'm blessed to have the best. I'd love to be going out for lunch with them, but that's not happening this year. I'm hoping for a walk round the block with V!
Mom's awake again so that's me off, have a great day xx
Mwah, luv ya
Love me x