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Thursday, 30 April 2020

Let's Stress Less

Thursday 30th April 2020
Sit up straight - slouchy only looks good on bags & boots!

Good posture lifts self-esteem and mood - so sit up straight - NOW!  Have you?  Did it make you feel instantly different in your body and mind?  Thats what my yoga has been encouraging me to do after I've finished, I've noticed I'm more aware of my posture, of how I'm sitting and standing, even when I'm out walking the dog.  You know I'm sitting up tall in my computer chair right now don't ya.  I'm also sitting with my legs crossed buddha style - that's not so appropriate according to the health & safety folks, but I've always done it, in all the years I worked in an office my feet were rarely on the floor if I was at my desk, my legs are so short, I can't find a comfortable place where I can sit at the right level with the desk and my chair.  You really needed to know that didn't you! 

We're talking stress eating in the virtual workshops this week and I'm trying to get members to think about ways to lower stress levels in the first place and not just how to control the stress eating.  I'm also trying to practice what I'm preaching.  

Stress is how we feel when the pressure we're under exceeds our ability to cope.  

I finally understood that sentence last night, I really did.  I had the best virtual workshop, I really came off feeling lifted, laughing, it had been so good to see members I hadn't seen since the start of lockdown, it was awesome, it really was.  I was BUZZING, then I walked into the living room and straight away I could see mom wasn't in the same mood as me, oh no, she was hateful and angry and frustrated and any other like word you can think off.  Now a few weeks ago, this caused me to get truly stressed out, full on meltdown, tears, a feeling of not being able to cope, you got the picture.  But last time, I felt able to cope with the situation, I tried to explain, I'd only been an hour, I was back now and I was sorry she felt this way.  It took me over an hour and a half to get her even to talk to me, she just kept ignoring me, but because I'm feeling more relaxed and in control, I was okay with it.    I'm thanking Yoga with Adriene for that, I really am.  I've done a lovely 25 minute session with her this morning, Alfie helped me, it's quite sweet, he actually sat staring at the laptop screen at one point watching her and it's quite bizarre that every time she does downward dog, he comes and sits directly underneath me on the mat.  Again his presence doesn't annoy or stress me because I'm feeling calm and realising it's about the experience of being there, not the perfection of the poses.  

We all react differently to pressure and stressful situations, what makes one person feel anxious can motivate another, even the way we react can vary on the day or our mood.  Some stress when it's occasional or low-level can actually be a positive thing, it boosts our brain power and prepares us to face challenges and helps us to go that extra mile.  

But we all agree that too much stress, especially over a long period of time is not good at all, it's really bad for us and can cause both mental and physical illnesses so we don't want that to happen.  So we need to do things to stop us from getting to that point when we are running on empty, which is why I want people to find ways of de-stressing which is why I'm loving the workshop topic this week. 

One thing you can do is stop trying to please everyone - it's impossible!  That's why I was able to handle my mom last night, for one hour yesterday I was focused on pleasing my members and myself, she sulked, I ignored her behaviour, I know she has dementia, but other people do that don't they, sulk when things are going their way, ignore them too! 

One suggestion this week for helping you to de-stress which wasn't already on my list but I loved was to look at old photos, Elle was talking about photos of your kids when they were babies to remind you they weren't always little lockdown loonies driving you round the bend, but I thought this would work with any good memories, photos take us back to a moment in time, this one below is me and mom in the back garden on a sunny day talking silly selfies, two years ago, just after she'd turned 80.  I've just found it out to ask people on Facebook a favour, here it is if you want to do it too, she'd love it, this was the post;

My brother has been writing my mom letters (then taking pics & messaging them to me to print out) she reads them over and over again, he's also been making little video messages for her which she loves. Yesterday the dementia nurse rang to talk to her and she loved that too. She's a social person really, so if you have a few minutes, write my mom a letter, just say hello, tell her how you're handling lockdown, tell her what your kids are getting up too, hell get your kids to write to her, get them to make a little video, anything to make her feel a little more like people care and love her. Make an old lady smile! I can print the letters, if you take a photo and message them to me.    

 So even though she kicked off when I came down, I didn't stress eat, I made this salad instead, and I was rather proud of myself!
 My breakfast was delicious too, although avocado never looks very pretty on a plate, but with eggs and diced tomato in sweet chilli sauce, it's delicious, I threw in some diced cucumber too, that worked.

and helping with the distressing as always is my crochet, I did some more of the flowers, although I'm not a fan of using cotton, it's not so easy to crochet with so it'll take time to finish this thing.  I may raffle it though to raise money for the NHS as it's going to be rainbow colours.  We shall see. 

I've got a busy morning, on my virtual workshop again at 8.30 in the Dudley & Walsall group, then on again as a support at 10.30, that'll keep me occupied.  Hopefully mom will sleep through most of that, then I'm off the virtual's till Saturday morning 9.45.  Come join us, it's a great way to catch up and distract yourself from 'real' life for half hour, it's great to be reminded there's so many others feeling just like you do and doing what they came to cope.  Get a few tips on Stress eating too - now that's worth it.

 Right that's me, it's my big brothers birthday today you know, it's brilliant because this time last year we didn't think he'd make it, he'd been diagnosed with cancer in the January and they'd told him it was terminal, that they couldn't give him a 'how long he'd got left' timeline and they'd thrown everything at him, radiation, steroids you name it.  Today's a good day, what I'd give for one of his uncomfortable, overwhelming big bear hugs.  I say uncomfortable because we've never been demonstrative in our house and all of a sudden he was and it took some getting used to, but I did and now I'd love one, so if you're in a house with someone you love, go give them a big bear hug.

Mwah, luv ya, let's have a great day.

Love me xx

Wednesday, 29 April 2020

Midweek already!

Wednesday 29th April 2020
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.  

Well this rains going nowhere is it!  Alfie refused to walk yesterday but somehow despite not leaving the house, I managed to get 5k steps on my fit bit, I also did my yoga which helped a little.  I've done half hour of it again this morning but we were late waking (before 6 still!) so Alfie joined me and mom was up by then.  She's quite confused at the moment, her dreams are becoming her reality, she actually didn't believe me yesterday and went looking for her sister in the other rooms.  Alfie was a little sod yesterday too, but I think that was partially due to him refusing to walk and being a greedy little sod who ate all his treats and wanted more!  Still a good day but some of our days standards ;) 

Yoga, mindfulness and crochet is what's helping to keep me calm, occupied and relaxed during this strange times.  With how miserable the weather was yesterday, I decided to brighten it up but starting on these flowers.  

I'm going to use cotton I have and make them in rainbow colours, it's a shawl from a crochet magazine I have and this is what it will look like but I'm using cotton I have in my stash, I wanted something to make me smile and use some of the yarn I already have, can't buy more till I've used what I have.


This was the only treat I had delivered with my shopping this week, it was only £1 and 25SP, I hadn't realised it was a frozen pizza which is why I ate it yesterday because I couldn't fit it in my freezer!  Another reason I haven't bought much this week, I'm going to use some of the frozen meals in the freezer from when I've cooked and frozen the other portions.  

The workshop yesterday was really busy and really good too, loved that they'd all done their best to focus on the things we'd discussed last week, and all ready to work on their stress eating and trying to prevent the stress in the first place (easier said than done we know). 

Gratitude is great for lowering stress levels you know, you can do it anytime, night time seems to suit a lot of people though, spending a few minutes thinking about what you're grateful for.  Try it, this week use Dr Rangan Chatterjees idea, he suggests practicing the three Ps, 

Think of a PERSON you feel grateful towards that day, then do the same toward a PLEASURE you've experienced during the day, so for me yesterday that would've been my crochet flowers or my first mug of tea of the day.  The person would have been Vicky for standing in the rain on my drive when she fetched her shopping and having a couple of minutes chatting with my mom who was stood half way down the hall.  Then finally think about something that popped up in the day that help some PROMISE for the future.  Now this one right now isn't as easy as he suggests but it could be making plans for when lockdown ends, or something you're going to buy in the future.  Focus on feeling gratitude towards all these things, better still get a notepad and write them in it daily. 

On that note, I promise to cook a healthy lunch and make tonights Virtual workshop at 5.30 as good as I can, I look forward to catching up with members and staying in touch.  

Now more than ever we need to focus on taking care of ourselves xx

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me x

Tuesday, 28 April 2020


Tuesday 28th April 2020
Falling down isn't the issue - not getting back up is.

Over my points allowance again yesterday but not being silly and feeling so much better in myself, which is my priority, especially as I see how many around me are suffering and/or struggling.

Up at 4ish this morning after mom woke me up thinking someone was knocking the door, she was dreaming, she does that a lot bless her, but it was only an hour earlier than I'd intended and it means I got to do 45 minutes yoga instead of the 20 minutes I planned.   Mom's asleep again now so I've got an hour to mess about on my computer.  I've done yoga before, in the past though, it's always been to get active, as exercise really and I think that's why I'm feeling differently about it this time.  This time I'm doing it for my mind, that wasn't my intention initially, it was so I was being active, but I feel differently when I do it and afterwards, I have noticed a shift in my mood, so hopefully that will continue.  

Oh and moms just got up lol, hey ho to my hour messing about.  Yesterday's food looked like this; 

Those egg wraps were great, that frying pan I had off the WW online shop did them perfectly, each one is one egg whisked and poured in the pan and almost immediately rolled back out again, yep non stick pan at its best right there.  A little grated parmesan on top made the meal perfect.  Now on Green that's 5SP on Blue or Purple it would be 1SP, but my dinner would be 14SP regardless of plan, I used the leftover veg and spuds from my Sunday roast dinner and added a tin of corned beef to make a hash, nom nom.

This week sees the start of the #WWRefreshChallenge across Connect and our social channels. Each week will be a different topic, all relating to wellness and this week we are focusing on Nutrition.

If you haven't already, save the photo below on your phone and let everyone know your reason for joining the challenge;
 This is mine - 
 Next save this image and let us know your goals around food this week.  

These are mine; 

I managed veg with both my meals yesterday, I ate a couple of mandarin segments, so I need to work on that lol, got some bananas and satsumas coming today and my eggs were my protein.

Don't forget to use the hashtag when you post so WW and their members can search via the hashtag, I'd love you to tag Bev's WW or me on Facebook / Connect too, let's stay social whilst social distancing.

I'm good again this week, but I wasn't a few weeks ago and I know lots of people out there who are struggling, I've been chatting via messenger with them and as my quote at the top of the blog says, falling down isn't the issue - not getting back up is. I often use say, 'it's okay to have a pity party, just don't unpack and live there' and it's true. The key to picking yourself back up again and moving forward is focusing on the positives. Positive thinking, a positive attitude will help us all refocus and get back on track. The only person stopping us is ourselves, how many times have you said 'I can't' or at least thought it. 'I can't do it' probably the most dangerous sentence for a WWer, oh but there's also 'Just one won't hurt', that's pretty dangerous too!

YOU CAN AND YOU WILL (when you're ready)

It's okay if you don't want to do it right now, but remember when you're ready YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN! 100% you can lose weight - you've done it before, you can do it again. Believe in yourself, in your ability to do it.

If it's just another thing you don't want to think about right now, that's okay, instead of thinking weight loss, think healthy. Just setting those three goals around food this week in the #WWRefreshChallenge will help you be healthier, unless you've set 3 silly goals like, eat chocolate, eat crisps, eat cake! I hope you didn't!

If you do have a long term goal that's been interrupted by this situation we're all in, make some mini goals, success bring success, once you achieve one, you'll want to focus on the next. You can't beat being around other people who are succeeding and focusing on similar goals, so make sure you get on a virtual workshop or more if you'd like.

And don't give yourself a hard time, no beating ourselves up right now, the struggle is real - now more than ever. Chill out, find ways to relax and reduce the stress, be kind and give yourself a break.

Find something that makes you happy other than food and drink and go do that!

Progress not perfection - say that out loud, that's your mantra for today. Don't like that one, what about I can do this! Better still make your own mantra up, keep it short, simple and personal to your. Think about words that speak to you, what you want to achieve, once you've got it, write it on post it notes and put them things everywhere, in the fridge, on your mirror, in the biscuit tin so they act as a reminder.

Right I'm off to get ready for my virtual workshop this morning (Wolverhampton Connect group 8.30, I'll be on from 8 for wellness check-ins), looking forward to another week of Virtual's, this weeks stress eating!

It may be raining this morning but how about we make our own sunshine xx

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Monday, 27 April 2020

Starting my week feeling good.

Monday 27th April 2020
Your journey might be rough at times but you're still moving in the right direction.

Well it's 7am, I've already done my 40 minutes yoga for beginners, it was a different one this morning, Yoga for beginners - the basics still with Adriene just a longer video than I have been doing, I'm really enjoying it, I took my mat downstairs and did it in the kitchen, there's a bit more room there than by the side of my bed.  I'm going to leave the mat down and if I get chance throughout the day, do the odd yoga pose, she has individual videos, she even has 18 under 10 minute yoga practices for busy people - I love that.  I'm not that busy but I might be able to do one of them before mom realises I'm missing lol.  I do have a busy morning though. 

Oh I know I said I was going to start weighing on a Friday but I couldn't resist getting on the scales, it's Monday, it's just normal for me and I couldn't resist.  I feel I need to get on to stop me being a silly sod and thinking I'm gonna get away with doing stuff.  Anyway, I was bang on 13 stone, which I'm really pleased with.  That means I've lost 4.5lb since last Monday, absolutely thrilled with that, yes I'd gained that same 4.5lb since March 17th but at least I've got rid of it again - phew!  I've officially lost my lockdown gain, so now to keep it off and hopefully add to the total.  

Yesterday I enjoyed a roast dinner, I'd got parsnips because on Blue they're zero, but on green they ain't!  Another benefit for me to do Blue, yeah I'm realising I make wiser choices on blue, I opt for the salmon and the chicken and the eggs and the parsnips and pease, all good grub, on green I'm thinking about pork and beef and other potatoes and more potatoes oh and then some more, which is also the reason I don't do Purple.  I'll carry on doing green just because I started it and I'm curious but I'm well over on my week anyway.  It's all good, I'm doing what I can with what I've got right now, focusing on those little changes and the Yoga is a biggy for me.  

As I said busy morning, got to sort my online shop, plan my workshops for the week ahead, walk the dog, okay so it's not really that busy is it, but it's making me feel like I actually have something to do.   I'm focusing my brain towards the positive and being good busy is a positive thing. 

We all agree that a positive is better than negative mind, but I'm guessing so many of you right now are thinking MEH its not so easy to be positive with everything that's going on and I'm not gonna argue with you.  I'm creating my new norm and part of that is not watching the news at all!  I know that's not changing anything but hey, once a day, I have a quick look on the BBC in the hope things are improving.  Mom reads the paper to me, well actually she zones in on one or two articles usually and reads them over and over again to me!  Yesterday was Kim Jong-un and whether he's dead or not and something about Greek kids, and I just zone out lol.  

The truth is focusing on the positive is helping me handle all that's going on in my life, I need to be optimistic about the future and research shows that people with a positive outlook live longer, healthier lives than pessimists, so there's another good reason.  Yeah today I choose to be positive. 

I'm looking forward to my day, actually I'm looking forward to my week.  I don't know if it's the yoga or just my hormones have settled but I feel a lot calmer, my emotions have balanced out and even when mom started to kick off the last few days, I've handled it, so yeah yoga is the future, if I can do it for a month without having my usual monthly meltdown thanks to my emotions, the full moon, my hormones whatever it is that causes the changes in my mood then I'll know for sure it's working.  I'm on day 10 so that's a third of the way through the month and I know I'm doing virtual workshops till the end of May so that's another month of being able to find the hour each morning without having to get up at 4am but maybe I'll love it so much when we go back to in-person workshops that I'll be happy to set my alarm for that time.  Now I would love that!  

Anyways, I need to get on with my day, this has took 45 minutes to write because I sorted mom and had a chat with my sister on the garden as she dropped off moms paper - wonder what story she's share today! 

My virtual workshops this week are; 

Tuesday 8.30am, Wednesday 5.30pm & Saturday 9.45am in the Wolverhampton Connect group.

Thursday 8.30am (& I'm supporting Hayley at 10.30am) in the Dudley & Walsall Connect group.  

If you're not a member at the moment but are considering it and want to see what a virtual workshop is all about there's some happening this week as we have an Open House .  https://bit.ly/WWOpenHouse2020 is the link; 

Today believe in yourself, you can do this, you deserve to be healthy and happy, you are worth the effort it takes to achieve your goals - remind yourself of this as often as you need to.  You're already successful because you took the step to become a WW member and decided to make you a priority!

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Sunday, 26 April 2020

Small changes

Sunday 26th April 2020
Be careful what you hide.  Those things you keep to yourself...they damage you inside.

No food photos today as I didn't eat a proper meal yesterday at all, I felt a bit off all day, my stomach wasn't good at all so I didn't eat properly, still managed to go over my points though lol.  I've had a good sleep and I feel okay this morning, plus moms woke up good which hopefully will last longer than it did yesterday.

Think about this for a minute running a marathon - not easy at all!  Deciding to take a walk round the block, much more doable (of course as long as it's your only time you go out for exercise that day ;) ).  Getting 9 hours good, solid sleep every night  = a laughable suggestion to most, but going to bed 15 minutes earlier, absolutely possible.

Making small changes are more likely to help all of us at the moment, our days are completely different, our lives altered in a way we never thought would happen so contemplating making any more big changes and alterations just feels like a change too many!  We talked about hitting refresh in workshops over the last week and I asked members to focus on small changes, not big grand gestures and promises that just weren't going to happen.

I loved it when one said, I had 4 good days, she'd already planned not to have a great weekend, she knew that was asking too much to do a full 7 days right now.  It's all about picking a small change and doing that over and over until you do it on autopilot.  My big glass of water is one such change that when I first did it, I had to think about it, now its automatic, I've also started taking a glass to bed with me now.  That's still quite new and occasionally I forget and wake up in the middle of the night and reach for it and it isn't there, but most nights I'm remembering.  

My small change I'm making at the moment, because if I'm being honest I'm starting from scratch, so many of the things I was doing back when I was at my goal weight I'm not doing now.  Actually no that is not true, I still have lots of healthy habits that I still do despite having regained weight.  I just eat too much!  Anyway, back to my small change, it's my yoga, I'm on day 9 of doing it every morning and it's becoming a habit, I do it before I blog which is why my blogs getting later.  I do it even if moms awake, she's getting used to me doing it too.  Occasionally she's interrupted it or the dog comes and joins me and we do some Doga!  He enjoys it and I don't mind because it's not about getting the moves perfect, the practice is helping me ground myself, calms me and I find it quite restorative.  I'm working through the foundations of yoga now so spending some time on each of the moves and I like that, I threw in a new beginners one today too, A little goes a long way .  So yes this is my small change this week.  I'm making time, I'm making it a priority, I wouldn't skip eating or showering (well whilst in lockdown I may have been guilty of this - but you get my gist) so I'm scheduling it into my day, like I do my virtual workshops and other things that I feel I must do to survive.

What small changes did you decide to make, my others include continuing to track regardless of how many Smart Points I'm consuming, it's all teaching me about my eating habits, especially as I've switched to Green, already I'm questioning my decision, but the last two days haven't been my normal way of eating so I will eat how I usually do the rest of the week and see if it affects my decisions, I think it will and I'll end up going back to blue.  It's great that there are 3 options so we get to choose who we are.

My last small change is to have at least one or two alcohol free days or just drinking LESS again this coming week.  So there's my 3, what are yours?

If you need any help, some of the things others have said included,

Wearing fit bit every day
tracking good or bad
planning meals
weighing weekly
attending virtual workshop
Drinking more water
less alcohol
trying yoga
Keep on track for 4 of 7 days
Going for a walk every day

I would just say, believe in yourself because being positive makes everything easier.

I think I'm going to do a recipe or two, my sister got mom the papers yesterday and there's some WW pullouts in the Mail this week, there was a couple of recipes in yesterdays I fancy, so will order the ingredients and hope they have them in my delivery.

Anyway, I could carry on, you can tell I'm not having conversations with anyone can't you, I've taken to having them via these blogs instead lol.

I'm going to have a roast dinner today I think, I've got veggies that are going to walk out the kitchen, so I'm going to roast parsnips, potatoes, carrots, I've just found some pork slices in the freezer so I've taken them out.  I don't want to waste food, so I'll cook it all up.

Okay, I'm off, Have a lovely Sunday,

Mwah, luv ya

Love me

Saturday, 25 April 2020

Day 6 (hope its better than Day 5 points wise!)

Saturday 25th April 2020
Today is another chance to get better. 

Well the last has seen my mood improve massively compared to last week, just done some yoga again this morning, I've moved onto the foundations of yoga series with Adrienne, I'm going to spend some time on each pose so I understand more about the why not just the how, it will hopefully help me remember the poses too, so I can do a few when I don't have access to a screen. 

I went over my point syesterday by quite a lot but it's a re-learning curve this week, I'd bought a tub of taramasalata in my shopping and it will be the last for two reasons, firstly because it's 36 Smart Points a tub and secondly because I feel quite sick this morning!  

Now the veg sticks were good for me on that plate and so were the brownies, 10 mini ones for 1SP and it was very kind of Donna to get me some, but the reason I don't things like this is because I'm greedy and I didn't just eat 10, I ate the packet which was 5SP so still not too bad point wise, I really do feel sick from all that this morning though, far too much of a strange concoction there.   For anyone who's never seen Broghies, there are them; 
According to their website, Iceland, Asda and Morrisons sell them or they sell them online in bulk https://broghies.myshopify.com  What are they? This is the description on their website.

A Broghie is a crunchy, bread-plate sized, round, disc-shaped, bowl-shaped bread substitute with no fat, low carbs, no preservatives, no artificial flavours or artificial colours, no sugar, and only 20 calorie food that is suitable for many diets.
Broghies popped grains are extremely versatile. Use them instead of bread, bagels, crackers, or tortilla chips and eliminate the fat, the oil and the frying completely.  Perfect for scrambled eggs and bacon, fresh fruit and yogurt – breakfast to go.  Simple.
I always describe them as a tasteless poppadum shaped crisp bread thing!  So good with words aren't I!  They really are great though, if you have an off switch which I don't! 

Thankfully my lunch was a lot lower in points, I forgot to take a photo so this is a screen shot from the video I made whilst doing my Facebook Live https://www.facebook.com/WWBev/videos/3048792685188432/ is the link if you missed it and you want to watch. 

I'm gonna keep it very light today, scrambled eggs and a bit of fish maybe for dinner.  Hopefully this sicky feeling will wear off as my body digests what I ate last night. 

I'm looking forward to my Saturday morning catch up with members this morning, hopefully it'll remind me why I'm doing this again so I make it through the weekend. 

Now I attended my workshop as a member yesterday and as I usually weigh on a Friday but wanted to let my coach know how I'd done, I decided to change my weigh day to Friday, I'm chuffed to say since Monday, I've lost that 3lb I'd gained.  Yesterday wasn't the best day to reset my app, because thanks to the food I ate last night, I've already used all my weeklies - DOH!  

I have also set the app to Green, I'm thinking of switching it up for a couple of weeks, still not sure if it's the right thing to do as I've always been a Blue Bird, so I'm just going to track everything on Green and because I'm also using a physical WW journal, I'll be able to see what foods would've been zero on Blue and I can see which would be best long term.  But it's not just the points that will help me make the decision, it'll be my food choices.  We'll see.

Anyway, I'm off to make mom a cuppa, here's to surviving the weekend! 

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me 

Friday, 24 April 2020

Day 5 - gonna go live ;)

Friday 24th April 2020
Be careful how you are talking to yourself, because you're listening too!

Yoga and mediation done this morning, I really do feel like it's helping ground and calm me for sure.  I went over my points yesterday, there was wine involved.  It was all pointed, enjoyed and tracked though so it's all good.  Mom had quite a good day yesterday which always helps, me feeling how I do is helping me pre empt her mood swings and try to sway them or at least I'm able to handle them. 

My main meal was delicious yesterday, it was this delicious fish burger. 10SP 

Made using these burgers, 5SP each and £1.50  (75p each)
served on one of these, which are also 5SP each, £1.70 a pack (works out at 43p each)
Not a bad meal for about £2 if you include some salad.  Trying to be more mindful of my spending now none of us knows what the future holds right now.  Having said that, I've been paid for my first month in lockdown and I'm so grateful to WW and also to my members who've continued to order online via the WW shop using my code (I7IA5I - they're capital I's not ones) which means I still get my sales commission.

We had great workshops again yesterday, I was support on the 10.30 one, but lead on the 8.30 and really felt like a usual Thursday morning workshop without the bad cup of coffee, it was lovely to see them all and hear their plans to stay on track for the week ahead.

Today I think (as long as moms okay) I'm going to do a Facebook live on Facebook, I'll do it on my Bev's WW page https://www.facebook.com/WWBev/ so keep your eye out, will be lunchtime, hopefully around 12ish.  You can watch me do a bit of cooking ;)

Did you read yesterday, did you do the lifting your corners of your mouth and smiling that I requested ?  If not do it now, it works, you smile even if you don't want to and it's a bit like trying to say bubbles with a serious face, you can't do it and if you can, well you're trying really, really, hard to be serious and that's just silly!

I've found my copy of the old Weight Watchers Be Happy book out yesterday after it was suggested by another coach.   Let's be honest as the book says happiness is the things we want most for the people we love most.  Let's make sure we put ourselves on that list shall we.  I know it's not as simple as flicking a switch and turning it on, or turning the corners of your mouth upwards into a smile.  But we can do little things to steer us in that direction and also get a bit of help from others, that's why the virtual workshops are a great idea.  You come off them feeling lifted.

If you're struggling right now, remember the mind and the body are intricately connected - they can either work together or clash, we all say, 'my heads just not in it right now' when were struggling with our weight loss.  The truth is when we work at being happy, it fuels our success.  Where do you think I got the name Bev's Happy Owls from!  Happy Over Weight Ladies (or lads), I truly believe if you work on your happiness (or being content/calm any positive emotion) weight loss at some point becomes the side effect because we start to take care of ourselves more.  When we start to focus on self care and self love, we feel better, we don't take care of anything we don't love which is why it's so important to appreciate how amazing you are, to treat yourself with respect and put yourself on your to do list, try to make yourself a priority. I know how difficult that can be at times and we forget, hell I forget a lot these days with mom but we need to keep reminding each other.

So today, believe in yourself, be kind to yourself and let's take care of ourselves.  Hopefully I'll see you at 12, come and chat to me on Facebook, here's to a great day.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx


Thursday, 23 April 2020

Day 4 - I feel 100% better than I did a week ago

Thursday 23rd April 2020
Be a rainbow in somebody else's cloud.

I'm sat at my desk watching a squirrel make his way across the road, they're doing well so far this year, no traffic zooming in and out of the street!  It is nice to see nature thriving for sure. 

I've just done my yoga and meditation, still doing the same yoga workout, doing it for a week before moving on, simple 20 minutes, but I did a different meditation, it's setting me up for the day it really is, even if my alarm going off at 5am made me jump!  

Another day all tracked in my journal and on my app, yeah I'm doing both but it's helping so that's all good.  I also earned 12 FitPoints and was just shy of my 10k steps, but I also clocked up 68 active minutes which is bloody awesome considering I have to be with mom almost constantly!  Finished on  34SP, enjoyed me a little wine last night, sipped not slugged, enjoyed for the taste rather than drunk to calm my stress, that's the difference between tasting good and being enjoyed and just been drunk for the side effects, I don't like drinking when it's in the latter way.  

Foodwise, I had planned eggs, but I didn't get to my breakfast till 10 and then I'd been looking for ideas to use up the white cabbage and found a recipe, but I hadn't got all the ingredients, so I improvised and added a bit of my own because there wasn't quite enough flavour.  

I didn't have coriander powder, but I had seeds and fresh, so I warmed the seeds in a pan then ground them myself, but trust me having powder is a hell of a lot easier, especially when you drop the pestle on the floor and it smashes into pieces - doh!  Anyway this is what I made and it was delicious.   You could add chilli or other spices you like to warm it up or tweak the flavour. 

Indian-ish Cabbage 8SP total

1 whole white cabbage, shredded or finely chopped
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (8SP)
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 heaped teaspoon inch frozen ginger
1 teaspoon paprika powder
1 tablespoon coriander powder
3/4 cup frozen or fresh green geas
Chopped fresh coriander (if you have it) 
1 teaspoon garam masalaSalt to taste

Heat oil in a pan and add cumin seeds and ginger. 
Stir and fry for a minute, then add cabbage, paprika, coriander powder and salt.
Mix well, and add about 100ml water.
Cover the pan and cook for 8-10 minutes till the cabbage is tender.
Add in the peas and cook for another few minutes.  Stir in the garam masala, then the coriander and serve straight away.

I had mine with a WW mini naan (they're lovely, glad I bought a couple of packets), it was delicious, it'd make a great side on a fakeaway curry night, I can happily eat it as it is though, it was delicious.  I've got the rest sitting in the fridge ready for consumption.  I think my Harj & Suman would be a little impressed anyways. 

I didn't eat again until teatime and I enjoyed this, although I could've done without the steak if I'm honest, I'd had it a few weeks, so it was bored when I was in sod it mode.  Alfie was grateful.  Those roast potato chunks were amazing, I've got Sainsbury's Vivaldi spuds and they are amazing, I just sprayed them with spray light and sprinkled with a little salt, nom nom.  I even pointed the ketchup I added to the plate - go me!

Now I'm ready for day 4, I will have eggs today, ooo I might have egg and beans, mmm maybe.  I think I'll get some salmon out of the freezer too, ready to have a meal with today or tomorrow, I need to start enjoying more zero heroes, a nice salad possibly, some hard boiled eggs, wafer thin chicken.  If I want to enjoy some wine this weekend, I'm going to have to save points somewhere! 

Looking forward to another virtual this morning 8.30 (wellness check-in from 8), last nights 5.30 on was really good again, they finally feel like regular workshops, I love them this week, we're all hitting the refresh button, even those who thought their buttons were broken! 

Before you go, just start to lift the corners of your mouth up, and smile, even if it's a fake smile!Now allow your smile to grow a little bigger, doesn't that feel good, even if you weren't ready to smile a minute ago, you're smiling now and it's turned into a real one hasn't it!

I've just finished my water, so I'm going to go get some more, because having a glass of water first thing is one thing I do when I'm on track that helps me stay on track, it adjusts my mindset into one of taking care of myself.  What are the things you do when you're on track, that keep you there?  I'll leave you to think about that.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx

Wednesday, 22 April 2020

Day 3 - The Refresh is well & truly HIT!

Wednesday 22nd April 2020
Don't be afraid to start over.  Be excited for a clean slate and a chance to build something better.

Day 2 finished well, I almost hit 10k steps, unheard of in these lockdown times lol, it took my cod so long to defrost that it was late afternoon by the time I ate and that's the only reason I managed to finish on such a low daily amount, that's not going to happen very often.  I almost had a glass of ginger wine because I had the points spare, but decided against it, so that's 2 days without alcohol.

But the food I ate was good.  These are a great snack (Sainsbury's) I think from memory you get 4 for a Smart Point so 3 for the packet.

Dinner was this; 

I made the cod in breadcrumbs myself, 2SP for the breadcrumbs, dunked in them, then egg, then back in the breadcrumbs and roasted on top of the peppers, courgettes, mushrooms, spring onions.  
I made the coleslaw with grated white and red cabbage, cabbage and onion, mixed with natural yogurt and mint sauce (I love mint sauce).  That's a WW Caesar salad dressing on the lettuce wedges. 

These flatbreads are 3SP each from Sainsbury's, great as above.  
But also perfect to make pizzas, this was 4SP, bit of tomato puree, the leftover veggies from dinner, 1SP of grated parmesan and the flatbread 3SP. 

I got to have a natter with my bestie too as she came to pick some shopping up I'd added to my basket from my supermarket shop, wow I didn't realise how much I needed that, she gets me, she listened, she didn't offer platitudes or say she understood, she was just there to nod in the right place and say 'you could make it up or write it', which is so true.  I also had a chat with a lady whilst out with Alfie and she told me she loved my blogs and that I was keeping it real, but then she told me her nan had dementia too and she'd moved in with her for 6 months so she understood how I was feeling, now I'm not gonna lie, normally when someone says that, it gets my back up especially at the moment cos no ones been in lockdown with a dementia mom before but from the conversation that followed I could tell she got the rest of it, moms agressive mood swings, the conversations she'd had with her nan were very much the same as I'm having with mom and that really helped me, so I'm grateful that she stopped and took the time to tell me that, and yes we social distanced don't worry, it was only a few minutes. 

I finally got round to taking the hoover upstairs to tackle moms bedroom carpet (the only carpet in the house apart from the stairs - I hate carpet, I don't know if I've ever mentioned that, because I hate hoovers, give me a brush and a mom anyway, it's the noise and the bloody weight when you carry them upstairs), well anyways, I plugged Henry in, and the little red shit was making a strange noise, so I turned him off, turned him back on and he refused to start, he's broken, he was nearly smashed as I contemplated throwing him through the window rather than carrying his heavy little ass back downstairs, but I'm a grown up, I didn't do that.   See you couldn't make this stuff up lol.

Anyway, mom sat out the front for ten minutes as Vicky chatted to her and totally made her day,   Which made my afternoon a little easier, bless her she's just got up and said, 'Am I going home today".  I have realised with her behaviour over the last week, it doesn't matter if I go to work or not, her behaviour is going to be what it's going to be, and me staying home wouldn't be the solution at all. 

I decided not to set my alarm this morning, I've had two rough nights and hoped I might sleep, and I did have a better night, woke up a couple of times but no foxes, no Alfie, no mom and when I woke up at 4am, I managed to go back to sleep, when I did wake up, Alfie came to the side of my bed but he wouldn't let me pick him up so I sat on the floor with him and he decided he wanted to do my 10 minute mediation with me and that was lovely, especially as Adriene had her dog with her doing it too. https://youtu.be/DP3BE1ezThE That's the link if you fancy trying it.  He then helped me with my Yoga for Beginners  bless him, I couldn't resist trying to get a few shots throughout the routine just to show you what a Downward Dog really looks like!  

I thoroughly enjoyed that half hour, I felt so calm, I didn't mind that he was on my mat, he wasn't getting in the way, he was getting involved and being close to me.

I almost forgot to mention the Virtual Workshop from yesterday morning, it was awesome, finally felt like a normal in-person workshop, a typical Tuesday morning, had great feedback from members too, we all left ready to Hit Refresh, looking forward to tonights now at 5.30 (check-ins from 5).  Yeah the second month in lockdown is going to be so much better than the first.

It's pay day on the 25th can I ask if you're ordering from the WW shop you use my code I7IA5I so I get my commission (you get a freebie too) www.weightwatchersshop.co.uk oh and those are all capital I's not ones in that code.

It's now 7.30am, moms downstairs watching the news, I'm just about to walk Alfie when I finished this and the sun is shining.  All is good.  I'm thinking steak and salad today, I might even make my own roast cubed potato chunks, I likes them a lot, mmm might make a potato salad at the same time, I do love that too.  Maybe start today with eggs, yeah, definitely fancy eggs but the big decision is how to cook them, I'll decide whilst walking Alfie.

I've just managed to get me a Sainsbury's slot again for next week, there's plenty to choose from this morning thankfully.  Although yesterday's they didn't have eggs (thankfully my sister got me some) they sent full fat instead of skimmed milk oh and I ordered a white cabbage and they've sent me 4!  Who would ever order 4 unless they owned a coleslaw factory lol.

Here's to Day 3 for me, I've got to say I'm in such a better place than I was this time last week, so long may it continue, I hope you've decided to hit refresh too.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Tuesday, 21 April 2020

Day 2, Hit Refresh

Tuesday 21st April 2020 
Something will grow from all you are going through.  And it will be you!

Well I did it, I had a day 100% on track, other wins since yesterday's blog include, I didn't have any wine for the first time in a very, very long time, what was even better and more relieving was that it didn't actually bother me (genuinely started to think I'd got a problem), turns out moms mood is no better with or without wine!  I managed to finish on 23SP, tracked absolutely everything honestly, earned 10 FitPoints too.  I set my alarm clock and despite an awful nights sleep, the dreams honestly, I'm dreaming about mom and her dementia now too (so no respite from it at all!) I have just done and thoroughly enjoyed 20 minutes yoga and 10 minutes meditation before mom woke up.  I did attempt to do a short night yoga routine when we came to bed last night but mom put paid to that, hey ho!

These are the two meals I enjoyed.  

Cheese toastie using Arla protein cheese, mushrooms, spinach, spring onions and egg. 4SP 

Leftovers from Sunday dinner turned into a bubble and squeak cheese bake, 2 chicken honey sausages and a dollop of HP.  17SP, bit high on the points that but I didn't have another meal afterwards. 

I feel like I've turned a corner, now to keep going forward, mom was initially slightly better when lockdown started but she's not getting any better, it was a brief interlude, the last weeks she's been a lot worse, aggression, complete confusion, oh and the stories she tells me are completely made up, the stuff she believes she's done not just that day but in her past.  We've been watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy over the last few weeks and some of the things she's allegedly had wrong with her over the years, well, she could write a book, if they were true!

I realised I have two choices, either take control of my emotions and thoughts, or let it all consume me and end up having some kind of breakdown because I'm not just in lockdown and unable to go out and about, I struggle to be able to leave the room without her mood completely flipping and me being verbally attacked, I'm having to tip toe around her.  It's laughable really because one of the reasons I never got involved in a long term relationship was because I never wanted anyone controlling me like my dad had my mom and now she's doing to me what he did to her.   I went on a Facebook group yesterday for Dementia Daughters looking to see if any of them were in a similar situation just them and their parent in a house together but I could only see ones who's parent was in a residential home, lots had passed away over this period and I'm not going to even type the thoughts I had because some people wouldn't understand! 

Instead I've going to use yoga and mediation to ground me, I'm stuck in this situation until at least the end of May so I'm going to hopefully use this time to eat healthier, drink less and lose a few pounds.  7Lb by end of May is my hope, although I know I've been here before trying to lose weight, this time it isn't weight loss that's my main priority, it's my sanity, stopping the thoughts in my head from convincing me my world is crap!  It's not, my world is difficult, I've had my freedom stolen but that's been going on for a long time now, I just can't go to work to escape it all so I will find inner peace instead.  

I'm focusing on the day ahead only, I only need the strength for today, to overcome anything that that comes my way.  Alzheimers may be destroying my mom, but I will not let it take me with her.

I have a healthy shop being delivered this morning, lots of veggies, my treat and indulgent in the order for the week are Onion & Cheese Focaccias and taramasalata, me weird - I won't have it said! 

It's my brothers birthday today and he called yesterday to talk to mom but she was vile, so we gave up on that idea, hopefully she might be better this morning and I'll get her to send him a video message.  He's her golden child and it's so sad to see her behave in that way towards him but I need to remind myself its not her its the disease, unfortunately we can't separate the two because if we could, I'd be tempted to punch the dementia!  If I could put the disease out of her I'd burn it, it's the most evil thing and you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.  It's stolen my best friends and put thoughts in my head about her, I never would've believed possible.  If you're stuck at home with loved ones and their doing your head in, go love em and love them hard because I'd give anything to have her back in all her glory.  We used to have good days and bad days, now we look for good hours or am thankful for her falling asleep.   I can honestly say the last week has been the hardest of my life and there is no escape because of the lockdown.

Sorry, I'm bringing the mood down, let's get back to Day 2, Hit Refresh.  I've got some more of that squeak bake, contemplating freezing it as I don't really want to eat it again today.  I fancy some fish, I'm going to take some cod out of the freezer and enjoy it with a flat bread maybe and peppers, courgettes, onions and mushrooms, ooo yeah, good. light and fresh food.

I'm really looking forward to this morning's  8.30 virtual workshop, especially now we're doing the half hour before wellness check-ins for those that need it.  Mom's already up so I'm hoping she'll snooze whilst I work.  

Right I need to go shower and get ready for that then don't I, here's to staying strong and surviving the day ahead.  

Mwah, luv ya, hope you're surviving too.

Love me xx