If you keep good food in your fridge, you will eat good food.
Oh what a night! I sang that though so my mood is more positive about my situation, I can't really do anything about what's happening to mom other than be here. I managed to fall asleep early last night before 8 and got a few hours, albeit disturbed, before midnight, then mom decided signing and talking to people who weren't there was in order for a good 90 minutes before asking me to help her to the toilet, when she came back she sat on the bed in the living from for over an hour and I sat next to her, this was about 2am. She said, 'what have I done to deserve this', asked for a cuppa, said loads of other stuff that made no bloody sense at all, then suggested I should write a book about the things she was saying. What did make sense was she kept talking about being taken prisoner, being controlled and taken over, as we talked it became obvious she was trying to articulate what dementia was doing to her, it wasn't a person controlling her it was the disease. She'll sleep now I don't want her too lol, but keeping her awake is easier said than done, especially when she sleep sounder in the day, less dreams once she settles than at night. I know that doesn't help me but I managed a couple more hours from 3am.
I still count my blessings, even more so when I get a message from a friend telling me about illness in their family, the universe is being a bit of a sick shit lately, it's time to give everyone a break.
My diet is still a work in progress, I ate a couple of good meals yesterday,
This was amazing, crisy pancetta bacon, sweet chilli tomatoes, avocado on a breakfast muffin topped with a friend egg. Added spinach and mushrooms to add the veggies.
Not my best chicken hotpot, needed more flavour in the juice but Alfie and I shared the chicken thighs and carrots, he was a happy boy and they're cheaper than decent dog food!
Not bad for 152 calories if you have a sweet tooth!
but then my sister bought daim bars and a friend sent mom a box of crisps under 100 calories and there's salt and vinegar French fries in there which she won't eat but I love, so I ended up eating two bags of them just because they were there.
Oh I did have a good walk on my own, Alfie wouldn't walk, so I went on my own and Anne sat with mom, just over an hour I think I was out, it was lovely to get some fresh air.
I'm going to cook the gnocchi in the fridge today, maybe with a side salad and I think replicate the breakfast I had yesterday because that was delicious, will have with bread not muffin as they've all gone now and I won't buy again for a time. I need to continue to bring healthy stuff in to balance out the convenience, processed stuff I already have.
Putting together our future plans, chatting with Elle is all helping to remotivate me to get my healthy on and accept that the situation with mom is what it is! The idea of being able to work to suit ourselves, rather than all the hours god sends appeals greatly. Watch this space, can't wait to tell you all about our plans, we can't do anything yet not just because of lockdown, also because of contractual crap!
It'll be worth waiting for! And May 21st will be a day to celebrate for sure.
Until then feel free to contact me if you're curious, happy to chat.
I need to go sort mom, she's 'going home!', cos apparently this place is a dump and the service is shit. Mmm hey ho, happy Thursday folks.
Luv ya
Love me x
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