Thursday 25th February 2021
Compassion is so often the solution.
To be honest I'd rather be drinking tea with my unicorn that whatever this Thursday business is because it's been a long day, says me at 7am lol!
That's my attempt at trying to look on the bright side this morning after another shitty day yesterday, let's think what were the highlights,
- Having a new mattress delivered for moms bed to realise it had a motor that sounds like someones mowing the lawn (moms words, but she's not wrong).
- Having the GP reject moms prescription request because the drugs on discharge at the hospital had mixed up the dose (which I'd spent a good while the day before sorting with said hospital), then being told by their receptionist in a 'tone' that I'd need to go back to the hospital and get them to let the doctor know of said error meaning I'd have to talk to the receptionist on C24 who absolutely loves me - NOT! Compassion is the keyword needed in receptionist training. That was a ball ache I could've done without, all those phone calls, listening to the 3 minute message saying 'if you've got corona symptoms' before you even get to press an option for the GP - why doesn't it say 'if you haven't got corona symptoms press 1 if you have listen to the following options and save everyone hours of their life!
- Having mom stress that I'm putting her in care or back in hospital because I'm spending so much time on the phone trying to sort her drugs!
- Listening to my mom say 'I'm not sleeping in that bed' even after I'd put new teddy bear bedding on it!
- Repackaging said bedding up cos there's no way on gods earth she's sleeping in it.
- Watching her sleeping in her chair because even with her old bedding she still wasn't going to sleep in a bed with an engine!
- Ah, I won't even inflict the toilet business on you because that's just special!
- Being interrogated every time I attenmpt to leave the room, 'where you going?'
- Imagine how that went down when I had to leave the house to go for my jab!
- Having Alfie wake me up for an hour at 2am because mom hadn't woke me up for half hour!
There's so many more magical moments but I'll not continue, you'll end up jealous and we wouldn't want that now would we!
I have had my jab now and the only side effect has been waking up feeling like someone had thumped me really hard in the arm, like when you were at school and the sadist in you used to do the dead arm to each other. I'll take that pain for the chance of getting my life back.
Things that made me smile yesterday....
My dumb ass brother saying he'd have some more raffle tickets but that he wanted prime numbers only - seriously, you gotta love him.
A lovely lady gifting me 2 audiobooks, what a lovely gesture and another lovely lady leaving cake in the porch, and another sending me wine by bank transfer. Now if one of you can send me a magic sleeping formula for mom that would be appreciated muchly!
Anyone who's ever done this caring for a loved one crap will either understand this next bit or not, I don't know if it's different if they haven't got dementia but I can hand on heart say I love my mom more than words can say, but when the dementia kicks in I really don't. I'm seeing her in such emotional pian, such confusion it's heartbreaking and I do wake up in the middle of the night and a part of me hopes she doesn't because most of the time she's in a living hell, she doesn't know where she is but she knows it's not a nice place at all,
I'm not after sympathy, but what I would like is for you to make sure you do everything you can in your power to live your best life, to do everything (when possible) you've ever wanted to.
February sucks at the best of times, this year more than ever because of everything that the last year has thrown at us. We're all drained, tired and fed up of saying 'I miss you' or 'I can't wait till this is all over and we can get together'. People have gone quiet because we're just trying to get through the day.
Let's hang in there, when we're ready, we'll all come out of this and as Boris said, the dates are on the horizon and I can't wait;
My life's a bit sucky at the minute, but I'm thinking about my future and what I want it to look like, I'm sure it'll be a lot longer than June 21 for me but hey, I have my wine, I'll be fine.
I've got work to do today, first time since mom was hospitalised, I need to get back to it, I will go completely mad if I don't do something, so please book your appointments with me to help keep me sane!
Here's to a calmer day hopefully, I need to get this mattress taken back I think, it's no point having something she won't lie in and having something in the living making that news wasn't much fun for me either to be honest, I could even hear it when I went up to bed.
Have a day, lol, whatever kind of day you need to have.
Luv ya
Love me xx
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