My May

Wednesday 1st May
Remember quotes don't work unless you do!

Wake up, wake up, wake up, it's tha first of tha month!

Okay, I know loads of you out there are doing just fabulously and I'm so envious, but I also know there's plenty out there like me who are struggling with stuff, weight being one of those things.

How about we use the fact is May 1st as a reason to draw another line, I don't know about you but I now have enough lines to make a notepad

Well today I intend to use that page as my new tracker, to write it all down, think about what I'm having, include even more veggies and less junk.  

Yesterday I had a delicious lamb dinner, yes the lamb cost me points but I knew I wasn't throwing it away so I cooked loads of veggies with it, it was delicious, I do love veggies. 

Today I'm going to have eggs, tomatoes and mushrooms on toast for my breakfast, for my lunch I have these beetroot and goats cheese risotto balls that I will have with lots of salad, then for my dinner when I get home from work, I'll have something ready and waiting, not sure yet what that will be but I'll decide when I look in the fridge.  

A friend sent me this yesterday as we're talking emotional eating in workshops this week; 

Now I'm not quite this but I am overeating otherwise I wouldn't be overweight!  I am reaching for comfort in the form of unhealthy foods, not necessarily snacks, more really tasty meals that I'm saying, 'I deserve something nice, it's one of the only things I've got to look forward to these days with all the crap going on in my house'.  I've also thought the 'life's too short' line on myself a good few times lately, plus the 'I don't want to live longer anyway, if moms life is what I've got to look forward too!"  Yeah there's been a lot of inner chatter going on, justifying my behaviour, justifying my over eating.  I'm on day 4 of a migraine, I just need it to go now and eating clean won't hinder that I'm sure. 

I have however realised once again over the last few days how much I love the good foods like veggies and salad, so I know I need to get back to thinking about food more.  I know that sounds counter productive but it won't be, if I think about what I'm going to eat, I'm going to make wiser and tastier chooses.  If I enjoy the meals I eat, I'm less likely to reach for crap afterwards.  I also need to be aware of the portion sizes and the points. 

I will focus on the other 'nice' things I have in my life, the things I can look forward too.  I loved my workshops yesterday, I plan to leave my personal life at home, from now on if anyone asks how mom is, I'm going to say okay thanks, that way I don't have to go over the not okay situation that is the truth.  

I still have this little precious to make me smile every day, this was him last night, he'd just been a little shih!  But you can't be angry at that face can you. 

Today, let's do something that our future self will thank us for.   May is going to be the month I eat better because I care about how I feel not because I want the numbers on the scales to go down (although that would be a bonus, that's not my priority right now).  

I'm going to make this May all about me and taking care of myself, looking for ways to improve my situation.  What you gonna do?