How confident are you?

Wednesday 6th March 2019
Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow person or event control your emotions.

Cracking good day yesterday, my voice is almost back to normal and I'm in a good mood, not even offended by the fox that woke me up wailing at 4am this morning, although I'd thank it to move over a street tomorrow! 

One of the things we got talking about in my workshops yesterday was CONFIDENCE!  People want  it, they want to feel confident.  Is it something you get or already have though?  

Depending on which google link you open; 

Confidence can be described as a belief in one's self and one's ability to succeed.  

Confidence is not something that can be learned like a set of rules; confidence is a state of mind.

Although self-confidence can mean different things to different people, in reality it simply means having faith in yourself.

Confidence is, in part, a result of how we have been brought up and how we've been taught. We learn from others how to think about ourselves and how to behave - these lessons affect what we believe about ourselves and other people. Confidence is also a result of our experiences and how we've learned to react to different situations.

Self-confidence is not a static measure. Our confidence to perform roles and tasks and deal with situations can increase and decrease, and some days we may feel more confident than others.

Confidence is a decision, you'll never earn it, it'll come when you decide to have it.  

All of these statements are interesting, I particularly find the 'how we have been brought up and how we've been taught' statement interesting because have you noticed how people mostly believe that being thinner and prettier will add to confidence, or maybe cleverer, so if you are thin, pretty (or handsome) and clever - well that's a triple threat I think they call it.  Meh, I no longer share that belief, I haven't for a while, you don't need to be THIN to be confident, you don't have to be pretty or clever to be confident either.  

How to build your confidence.

1)  your strengths. Think about what you're good at, if you struggle with this ask other people, they'll know.

2) Accept your limitations - YEP we all have them and it's ok, no one's perfect and your imperfections and limitations make you accessible and approachable to others. 

3) Don't 'should' yourself - Should is a word laced with guilt, there's nothing you 'SHOULD' do, there are plenty of things you could do and if you choose to that's your choice and no one else.  If you choose to lose weight that's great, but don't feel you should. 

4) Gain some perspective - stop exaggerating things, stop with the worst case scenario, full of drama thinking.  A little less judgment and a bit more reality will help towards improving your self confidence.

5) Try something new - challenge yourself, it doesn't matter if you don't succeed that's not the point, it's about learning about yourself in the process of a challenge.  There's nothing gives you a bigger confidence boost than failing at something then trying again and succeeding! 

6) Celebrate your wins - Every damn one of em, big, small, irrelevant to others - give yourself a little WHOOP WHOOP.  Appreciate the things you do each and every day, some days, just getting out of bed might be the win.

7) Practice positive self-talk - what you think is far more important than what someone else things.  We believe everything we tell ourselves so let's make those things we say about ourselves positive.  We all have those negative, doubtful thoughts so when they do appear, squash em and replace them with something positive.  

8) Accept compliments - Thank you, that's all the response you need when someone pays you a compliment, not the 'Oh this thing, I bought it cheap from Primark', if it's for doing something, accept you deserve that praise you're getting, otherwise they wouldn't have given it.  

9) Show others how to treat you.  Yep treat folk how you wish to be treated, be respectful, compassionate and kind.  If you behave badly, you can expect the same in return. 

10) Be kind to yourself.  Same here, treat yourself how you treat others, hopefully that's with love, kindness, patience etc.  If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, don't think it about yourself.  

Today even if you don't feel confident, fake it, go out there believing your amazing, if you can't quite do that, believe your good enough.  If it takes a certain outfit to make you feel that way - wear it.  But know that you are good enough already and it's great that your choosing to take care of yourself and eat a healthy, balanced diet and move more, especially as the side effect of doing that will most likely be weight loss. 

It's the start of Lent today, why not give up the self doubt, the self loathing, the believing you need to lose weight to be confident!

Have a very, very, great day. 

Stay BeYOUtiful!   

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A message from the Foodbank; 

Hello everyone

 

The next few months will be a challenging time for Black Country Foodbank as our stock levels start to diminish but the demand for our services remains consistent. With support, we hope that our Lent Challenge will enable us to provide food where it is needed most.

This week we launch our 'Lent 80 Can Challenge'. Please do support us by collecting 80 items from our shopping list from March 6th to April 18th. 

Please click on the link below to find out more.

http://www.blackcountryfoodbank.org.uk/news

We really appreciate ALL the support, thank you!