14th February 2017
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” C G Jung
Well it's the day of love, but ask yourself the question - do you love you, because that's the most important relationship you will ever have in your entire life. Until you love yourself, you won't ever find true happiness anywhere.
I love me, yeah I'd like to lose a few pounds but only to be healthier, it won't make me a better or nicer person, I'm already a really, good person and I like me a lot.
Since I've realised working towards a cleaner and tidier house is an act of self-care, I actually want to do it, less of a 'duty' more of a task to clear my mind as well as my house - I like it.
Self-love / self-care it goes hand in hand, it's important to love yourself, because no one ever takes care of something they don't love! Think about that for a moment.
I'm back to meditating for ten minutes every morning, I've gone back to the very start on my Headspace app, doing the starter for 10 that I did when I first started using it in Sept 2015, refreshing my mind. I've put a tub of hand cream by the side of my chair in the living room and I'm using it every night, that might not seem much to most but to me it's an act of self-care I haven't done before. I just realised the other day, it's no good taking care of the inside, if I'm not looking after the outside as well!
Another way of taking care of yourself is to have a great network around you, I have an incredible community of friends, I have the most wonderful best friends, I'm blessed. I've surrounded myself with people who have the positive energy I want to attract, who love the laughter in life and who appreciate life.
I regularly reassess, I'm not one for accepting that this is how life should be - no, life is what you want it to be, what you make it. If I feel out of sync or unhappy with my world, I stop and reassess what isn't working for me, then I make changes. If there's something I can't change, I ask myself if I can change how I behave towards/about it.
Taking care of my body, focusing on the healthy and happy is the most essential way for me of self-care, it's the greatest act of self-love, it proves to me that I'm important too. I do my best to feed my body healthy, nutritional food, at the same time I allow myself indulgences to feed my emotions, but in a positive, loving way, not a negative, self-punishment kind of way - big difference.
Oh and I stopped comparing myself to others years ago, I am me, 5ft 3in, 47 years of age, grey hair and a massive smile. My build is my build, I can't change it, so I embrace it - I love my reflection in the mirror, I'm never going to look like anyone else, I can get a new haircut but I can't grow a foot, lengthen my legs or grow my boobs, so I'll stick with padded bras that hang on my door handles and petit range in clothes. It's all good - turns out people quite like this version of me too!
Find what you're good at, then do that. Of course make sure it's something you enjoy too, whether it's work or a hobby, it's important to bring out the best version of you. I found what I was good at and it turned my life around, I now have the best job in the world, who knew the very thing I hated about my last job (public speaking) would be the main part of my best job ever! It was the subject and my self-doubt and lack of knowledge in the subject that I didn't like in my previous role, I just didn't realise it then.
Spend time doing what makes you happy, where's your happy place - work it out and spend more time there. Mines my garden, I can't wait for the sunshine to return so I can get back out there - yep I only like it in the sunshine, I'm fickle.
Having said I'm fickle, know your flaws, then ask yourself are they really flaws, yeah I'm fickle, is that a problem, apparently not in my world, for me it's meant I've got to do and try lots of things because sometimes I have a very short attention span, or I get fed up of something quickly so move on to other things. Luckily I'm not always fickle - not where the really important stuff is concerned.
So what is this self care business anyway, it's taking responsibility for your own health and wellbeing, mind and body, it's doing what you can to prevent illness in the first place or help to take care of yourself better if you already have a long term condition.
Mmm think about it, the opposite of self-care is self-neglect, are you neglecting your basic needs, personal hygiene is something most wouldn't dream of neglecting, but what about personal nutrition, hydration and health? Do you neglect those things, when you compare them to hygiene suddenly they seem so much more important I think! Then there's lack of care of a person's environment, yeah housework etc that means. When I think about it as neglecting myself, I suddenly want to take this self care more seriously.
I'm going to leave you with that thought, are you taking care of yourself or neglecting yourself, if it's the latter, in what way and why? Now there's a question!
What can you do today to show yourself some love. I'm going to cook myself a delicious, nutritious meal, make time to stop and eat, I'm thinking Mushroom Penne, mmm. We had beef stroganoff yesterday, it was good but I wouldn't want it again, not a huge fan.
Happy Valentine's day BeYOUtiful. xx