28th April 2017
Food doesn't make everything better!
Well I survived the food temptations yesterday, I thought about chips all day, instead I had two delicious, healthy meals, potatoes being a theme. It made me realise how much I like salad potatoes, lunch was lemon and herb chicken with tinned potatoes, carrots and samphire. My tea was lush, potato and poppy seed salad with tuna in a tomato dressing, really good and quick, just opened two packets. That's my kind of Thursday night cooking.
It's a really difficult thing to realise - food doesn't make everything better! It won't stop my mom asking the same questions over and over again, it won't stop some of the things going on in my house that I don't wish to share with others as it would embarrass others and it won't make my mom's pain or Alzheimer's go away. Neither will it give me extra hours in a day, do my housework or pay for all the work I've just had done on my house. Having said all that, it does taste really, really good, make me smile and give me something to look forward to. It also makes me feel good and act as a false comfort in the moment. Ah the power of food! It really is a wonderful thing.
I know if it didn't exist this dilemma wouldn't either but I do love eating and I don't think I'd want to lose that pleasurable feeling of sitting down and eating a delicious plate of food. I enjoy it too much and if I'm honest how life is at the moment, it's an important part of my life and whilst I'm being honest, there will be chippy shop chips at some point in the near future because I like them and haven't had them for a while. They will however be planned into my day, they won't be bought with urgency because I'm looking for a distraction from my life and all that's going on.
It's all good in my world by the way, we're dealing and getting the pleasures where we can, handing the shit (and yep that's the only word to use, can't 'prettify the language up there at all, it is at times literally SHIT).
It's all good as long as I have eggs in my kitchen!
Oh and a scentsy warmer to make the house smell good ;)
I have enough food to last the weekend, but I may have a look at No Count next week, I'm going to have a think, I do like the convenience of buying food already prepared for me though, it does help. Especially with a full time job and being moms carer and trying to keep on top of the house work. Throw decorating, decluttering and a good spring clean into the equation and food preparation has to be quick these days, it's all tiring and I'm getting no younger.
I'm going to be able to put my clothes back in my room today, that'll lift one strain, there's clothes all over moms bedroom floor and boxes on the landing, I can't wait to get them back where they need to be. Think it'll all need re-ironing but I'll do that as and when I need to wear it, you never know the creases might drop out as they're hanging. Hopefully I'll be able to find my toothbrush charger once it's all been put back in my room, I had to clean my teeth with an uncharged brush yesterday, felt very old fashioned :)
Eggs for breakfast, I forgot to get a loaf, so do I live without or go fetch a loaf - if that's the biggest decision I have to make today, all is good in my world.
Oh I had my hair cut yesterday, yeah cos I have time for that on a Thursday! I saw an offer on Facebook from a member who's an hairdresser saying she had 3 slots and I thought yeah, the universe is telling you, you were right when you looked in the mirror this morning and thought "you're not going to work looking like that are you?", so I decided to get it cut, a good job she's done too (Carla at the Works in Old Fallings). Not only did she do a good cut, everyone thinks she did a good colour too -my hairs not coloured, this is my natural colour, it's called I'm going grey and I don't care.
Right I'm off, I'm proper waffling this morning and I need more water and food, I need food. Here's to a healthy and happy Friday, going into a good Bank Holiday weekend.