24th November 2015
“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” ~Charles R. Swindoll
So yesterday went in a different direction than planned, I'd suggested we go for a drive as it was dry and bright but then the door knocked and it was a lady from the NHS come to chat to mom and access her ahead of her appointment at the Brooklands clinic next month. That took our morning up and she was lovely, she really was. I won't lie though I've never cared what others think about the chaos that is my house, but I did sit there looking round thinking, oh my days, what does this look like, half dozen bra's handing on a coat hanger to the left of her and half a bottle of red on the floor by the side of my chair to the right of her. It could've been worse, if she'd come an hour earlier, there were handbags strewn everywhere (I'd taken them upstairs and put them in my bedroom) and the kitchen had been covered in glass as my attempt at the washing up crashed across the floor! Oops!
It did motivate me to spend a few hours on the housework after she'd gone though and now you can see the floor again and mom has a clear walkway to get from room to room, something the lady did point out would be the only thing to create a problem.
What it did make me realise is, yes it's great doing all this helping others stuff, but charity begins at home so to speak and I need to make sure we're all good in these four walls before I start doing other stuff.
So many people seem to be struggling at the moment, or is it just that only the strugglers get in touch, those doing great don't need to inbox me for support. Either way, I think if you're struggling, accept it and stop beating yourself up. The worst thing you can do is give yourself even more of a hard time, that's not going to solve anything.
Life can be crap at times, we all know that, the highs and the lows make that life real and true, my headspace app at the moment has me meditating on what or who I appreciate in my life right now. Well for a start I appreciate that I'm taking 20 minutes out of my day to think about the good things in my life, especially when there is the bad stuff too, which I chose not to focus on. Whilst meditating and contemplating that question this morning, "that I have a house" came into my mind, and also that "I accept things and deal". Both things I'm truly grateful for, yes I have an untidy house but it's mine and it keeps me warm and safe and I love it, so maybe I do need to take care of it a little more, I'm always banging on about taking care of things we love, so my house is one of those things, maybe making a little more effort to keep it clean and tidy wouldn't be a bad thing!
Accept and deal! You know, it's what I do, yeah I'll have my little wallow, my pity party now and again but if you don't like a situation - change it, if you can't change it, learn to live with it. That really is the best you can do otherwise you'll be a miserable sod and I'm not willing to be one of those!
If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. That's so true and it's exactly what I do.
Yes my life has changed dramatically, only last week I was thinking about how I used to be able to go away for weekends on my own and spend time in my own company (something I love to do), I can't do that now because of mom, I can't leave her for a weekend on her own. And yes I know, someone else could come in but that wouldn't work for so many reasons, all of which I'm okay with. So instead of thinking, "it's not far, I've lost my life as it was", I see the opportunity to spend time in my home and find ways of escaping inside my own head without even leaving the house and I love this stage of my life just as much as I did the past. I have my garden for the summer to escape into, yes I've got a greenhouse now but I can't see me using that till spring, I think I'll always be a fair weather gardener. It's winter now so I'll find other ways of going into myself to find that calm balance, be it meditation or something creative, maybe it's time to get back into cooking, that's something I haven't been doing. There's always something to do, but for the moment, I'm enjoying lazy, I likes chilling with mom watching old episodes of Friends and giggling together - perfect.
We also watched our first Christmas movie yesterday, now I'm feeling all festive, mmm maybe that's my 'next' thing, getting ready for Christmas, that's a happy thing to focus on, I like that idea.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say I guess is if you're struggling, don't dwell on the problem, look for the solution. Sometimes you don't have to be losing weight, you just need to be doing the best you can to take care of yourself both mentally and physically. Love yourself a little more because we don't take care of things we don't love - never forget that. xx
Oh and thank you if you voted for James, he won and his mom is a very happy lady. xx