It always seems impossible until it is done.
WW, Weight Watchers, call it what you will but for me, they're my tribe. Nowhere else can I go and be completely understood when it comes to my relationship with food. Let's be honest my relationship with food is very much dependent on everything else that's going on in my world so that means my WW tribe get everything that's going on with me, they're my people and yesterday proved that more than ever. The morning members caught me whilst I fell apart and the evening ones started the work on putting me back together. That probably sounds dramatic but it isn't, I did have a moment and they were all there, they'd all got my back and there was true love and support in the room. On the evening, we all connected over what WW really means to us and we agreed we are all about the weight loss but at this time of year we're not going to expect too much from ourselves.
I've said a few times in my blog that I didn't want to end this year in the next stone bracket, the truth is I've been weighing naked and after a poo to ensure that didn't happen! I bit the bullet and stepped on the scales clothed in a meeting yesterday morning and I was as I knew I would be in that next stone bracket, only 3lb away from my heaviest ever weight, almost back to my pre WW weight. What was worse was I just shrugged my shoulders in defeat, I wasn't bothered. That was before my members started to arrive and I had the meeting, by the end of it I was feeling differently.
I rang my coach when I got home or rather she rang me (I wished she lived closer, I'd go sit in one of her meetings, road trip one day maybe!) and she coached me, asking at the end what do I need to focus on this week, and the truth was a we both so politely put it 'being arsed!' Yeah I need to be bothered that the scales say what they do and the truth is I am bothered, it's just easier to ignore them and pretend that I'm not. I'd put a blouse on yesterday morning and it was gaping a little at the buttons, I don't want that. My back hurts and last night my sciatica had returned down my left leg, that's a combination of extra weight but also stress.
I know my life isn't easy at the moment, but I can't wait for that to change because it isn't going to - not any time soon anyway, therefore I'm going to start to use the time I'm stuck at home to take care of myself again. I started yesterday.
I made my garlic chicken, instead of serving it with rice as suggested, I added mushrooms and a tin of chick peas, mmm it was good. So good, I will definitely be making it again, I might even add peppers next time too, and at 2SP a bowl, it was well worth it. I've renamed it because honestly it's not a stew but it is lush.
Bev's chicken & chickpea diet saver stew - 5SP total10 minutes prep time, plus marinating. Cook time 20 minutes
frozen chopped corianderFrozen garlic, crushed (the equivalent of 3 cloves)
2tsp garam masala1tbsp mango chutney (4SP)
425g pack skinless chicken breast fillets
1 tsp vegetable oil (1SP)
1 onion, thinly sliced
400g tin chopped tomatoes
tin chick peas
2 tbsp 0% fat natural Greek yogurt (optional)
- mix 2tsp coriander with the garlic, garam masala, chutney and a pinch of salt to form a paste.
- Using a sharp knife, cut small slashes in each chicken fillet then flatten them slightly. Spread over the paste and marinate in the fridge for at least 30 minutes (or overnight).
- Heat the oil in a large non-stick frying pan or wok and fry the onion for 5 minutes or until softened. Add the chicken and marinade and turn to coat in the onions. Fry for 6-8 minutes, turning the chicken and stirring regularly. Add the tomatoes, chickpeas, mushrooms and simmer for 5 minutes. Add another couple of teaspoons of coriander and stir into the sauce.
- If you want to use the yogurt, add either a spoon of coriander or maybe a teaspoon of mint sauce and stir.
- Serve either on it's own or with the coriander yogurt.
My breakfast had cost me 6SP, then when I'd got back I was emotional and knew I was in danger of comfort eating so I had a bowl of orzo salad for 5SP, which meant I needed to go low on my other meals to stay on track my first day. I did it thanks to that stew, it's going to be my diet saver stew going forward. I actually think I'll make a batch and freeze it for those moments where I want to eat my own head!
I hope my Tuesday members did what I did and sat with their new 'Success Story' book and really thought about what they were going to write in there. I used my paper tracker yesterday too, then added it all onto my app later. I ended my day on 25 and that was with wine. Today I plan to do even better, no wine tonight will save points and make me fresh for Thursday.
My other focus this week whilst I'm 'being arsed' (yep I'm now B.A. Bev!) is to find my food mojo, get back to cooking those meals I throw together so quickly, I'm good in the kitchen, I want to get back in that lovely kitchen I spent so much money on, that last year I wanted it finished so badly. Not sure what's on the menu today, there's not a lot in my fridge, but there is chicken, potatoes and a couple of Yorkshires, so maybe may a super healthy chicken dinner, maybe not. Whatever I have will be healthy. Might make a chicken stew with carrots, onions, potatoes, that's a possibility.
Mom's got the dentist first thing so whatever I do needs to be quick, easy, low Smart Points. WW works but I need to as well!
Yeah I do solemnly swear that this time next week I'll be telling you I had a loss, hopefully I'll be back in that lower stone, I was only 1lb over it this week so a 1.5lb weight loss would guarantee that.
A lovely lady has given me a Fitbit (it just needs charging) all I need to do is make a donation to the food bank for it, I'm going to make a conscious effort to get my steps up on that once it's charged and not aim for the 10k steps a day, just to improve on what it says the first time I wear it. Small steps in the right direction remember.
I'm also going to hard boil some eggs this morning so I have them to snack on later if I get the uncontrollable munchies. I know once I'm into it, it'll get easier and those munchies will go away, I also know if I don't do it now, they'll never be a good time. I am strong, I can do this, and little by little, day by day, I will do it. When you hit rock bottom - the only way is up, I'm going back in that direction.