3rd April 2018
Every next level of your life will demand a different you.
Easters done, Bank Holiday fun has been and gone, I’ve decided to get back on track and not be a fool all April, it’s too easy to think sod it, especially when there’s other stuff going on around us. I woke in the middle of the night and lay there thinking about mom (she’s not well, I’m going to ring the surgery today and ask to talk to the doctor), I was relieved when I heard her cough, because it meant she was still alive, that sounds dramatic but it’s not, I’m being realistic, she has all these stomach issues, the hiatus hernia which sits in her chest pressing through her ribs, it’s all got to be putting pressure on her heart, and the last 3 nights about 6 or 7ish she’s started getting real awful pain in her left arm, I think that may be her heart, I may be completely wrong but I will talk to someone and ask. Then there’s Alfie, he’s got a follow up appointment about the ulcer on his eye, I thought it was getting better but now I’m not so sure! Happy Days!
Anyway, I’m not going to use that as an excuse to stop healthy eating, yesterday finished with ice-cream because of it but today is going to be better. I’m going to do a No Count day, start with eggs on toast or an egg sarnie. I’ve got some leftover turkey so I’ll have some of that with veggie and a jacket for my main meal I think, then maybe beans on toast for tea, bread twice I know but I won’t do that every day, I could keep the beans till tomorrow, then for tea have some brown spaghetti with a bit more of that turkey. I could have the beans for breakfast with the egg, then after a big lunch, I won’t need much for tea, bowl of soup might do.
Anyway, I do think I will start with a big breakfast because I don’t know what today might pan out like.
I had a thought yesterday morning after I’d finished blogging and decided to type it up for todays –
Are you always questioning yourself? Your behaviour, your actions, what you think you should be doing, is this normal?
I used to do this all the time, I’m much better these days, I know myself much better, I realise my patterns, my ways, so I question myself a lot less and just make myself smile more with how I react to things, how I behave and act, it’s down to self-acceptance, this is me, I am who I am, yes I’m capable of change if it’s important enough to me but you only get so many years on this planet and I don’t plan to spend them overthinking.
Oh my summerhouse got delivered yesterday, apparently 10x10 is big! The first thing the chap said was, you ain’t getting all these panels down that alleyway. Oh ma’an, I hadn’t thought about that at all, thankfully 3 strong blokes sorted it and took the really big panels over the alleyway roof – phew! Now to wait for my brother to return from his and put it up for me. It’s going to be lovely this summer for mom and me to sit in and enjoy the bird and squirrels. I’d say enjoy the garden but it’s a bit of a dump at the moment and because of this late winter, nothing is flowering either. It’ll all come together in time, it’s just not the most important thing in my world at the moment, spending time with mom is. On that note, I’m going to go get ready for work and get moms meds ready for when she wakes up.
Have a great day, focus on the healthy and happy, let’s not be fools all month, let’s take care of ourselves. xx