18th August 2016
What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours!
I spend my life motivating others, sometimes when I feel flat and I'm struggling to motivate myself, I wish I had my own motivator, yesterday when I woke up and started blogging I noticed the date, thanks to Facebook "on this day" and I realised it was 12 years to the day since I achieved my goal at Weight Watchers, then I accepted I ain't there now. A deep sigh followed....
Now that morning could have gone one of two ways, I could've wallowed in self pity, "it's not fair", "what's the matter with me, why can't I do this", etc, etc... Or it could have gone where it actually did go, with me saying, right then lady, let's look at this as if you were talking to someone else!
a) Do you want to weigh what you weighed on this day, 12 years ago.
If so how then what's stopping you.
If you don't then what do you want to weigh.
Once I'd answered that question, and the answer by the way was I'm not concerned with that number but I would like to weigh less, a stone less if I'm honest and I've been fighting that stone for a while now, I'm lighter than I was on January 1, but not enough lighter (bad English there I know!) What am I gonna do about it then...
Well I've already changed my hours at work to give me more time for me. I've introduced walking, it might not be great distances but it's helping to get my steps up to 10k most days.
Why ain't it happening then?
Erm, really, whom I kidding...
It ain't happening cos I'm still overeating, it might be healthy food the majority of the time, but it's more than my body needs to weigh less. Simples!
So what now, how do I make sure this time next year, I don't sit here on the 17th August and have that same feeling, followed by that deep sigh?
I take control, I fill in the bloody tracker I keep ignoring, I have more good days than bad days and I stop making excuses....
I wrote the above on the 17th after posting that mornings blog, this is how the rest of the day went...
Well it got worse for a little while, I received an email that made me doubt myself and my abilities as a leader, and whether I was in the right job! After all, I hadn't kept my weight off and now I was being told I'd made a member feel awkward. I won't lie, there were tears, I went for a walk with the dog, then for a drive on my own before having a word with myself. Because the one thing I do know about myself more than anything else is I never intentionally set out to make anyone feel anything but good about themselves. I also know that having lost and gained weight so many times makes me perfectly qualified to know how to lose it, how crap it feels when you want to and can't and how to turn those feelings around and start to feel good about yourself whether you are managing to keep your weight loss going or not.
It would have been so easy for me to eat my feelings yesterday but instead I chose to feel them, eating crappy food after all is a punishment not a reward! Yes there had been tears, yes I ended up with red eyes and a bit of a headache but I also stayed on track, because I chose to feel the emotion not become it.
Witness it - allow it - don't become it and sure as hell don't feed it!
Then my day started to improve, I received a lovely bunch of flowers, lots of lovely kind words from people on Facebook and privately message and then the icing on the cake at the meeting. Dave achieved his goal! This is the moment it happened!
I couldn't have been happier for him, much deserved, it's not been an easy journey, his health hasn't been the best but he's focused on the healthy and he's always happy, to share our goal day is just extra special. 5st and 12lb in total lost, just incredible, he'd even had himself a tshirt made with it written on - how fab is that. We all celebrated in his success and enjoyed another great night at Ashmore Park.
I ended the day 100% on track for the first time in a while, my celebratory wine logged too - I tracked it all on my app, what a difference a day makes.
I've woke up this morning with a smile on my face and love in my heart, how'd you feel? xx