5th December 2010

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose. Lyndon B. Johnson
A member commented the other day that she wished she had my confidence, have you noticed how some people never seem to panic before an important occasion, where do they get their confidence? They know exactly who they are, and how to be themselves in any situation. Self-confidence is not a birthright; it can be lost or shaken. We need to keep boosting it and repairing dents. But the good news is – confidence can be learned.

Going out at anytime not just Christmas when you have a weight problem can be traumatic, the actual build up of “what am I going to wear?” can be just awful if you believe you look bad to start with. If on the other hand you realise that we can all look good with the right clothes, makeup, hairdo etc, then you can actually start to enjoy the idea. It’s important to remember no ones perfect, but everyone’s gorgeous!

If you’re lacking in self-confidence the actual ‘having to talk to people’ part of the night can be really daunting. However you have less to be worried about than you think. If you want to be able to walk through the door feeling really confident, the way you hold yourself has an enormous impact on how you feel and the state you’re in. So if you want not only to feel confident but also to exude confidence, the best thing you can do is to take on the physical bearing of confidence. First, stand up straight, keep your head erect and make good, direct eye contact. Don’t forget to smile, and breathe deeply (this sends a signal to your brain that you’re relaxed). Remember you won’t be the only person there who feels a little out of place or even inadequate, so be brave and mingle. At parties people are rarely purposely rude so if you go over to chat you’re guaranteed they’ll talk back, and the key to chatting success at parties lies in being curious about people, and that involves listening and asking questions. People like to talk about themselves, so if you’re prepared to listen you’re already winning new friends.

Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.

Until you are confident in situation - Fake it. Smile and act confident, it might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel!

Be Positive, even if you don't feel the same way. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior - they can only do so if you let them. If you dislike or belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.

I used to be very self-critical, I was never good enough and always felt I could do better or look better or be slimmer, be cleverer. These days I love me just the way I am, don’t get me wrong I try to improve myself still but I do it in a loving way not a critical “you’re not good enough” way!

We’re all gorgeous ;-)

You are a Chocolate Button of LOVELINESS on the great Caramel Pudding of Life!

Have a great Sunday xx