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Sunday, 24 November 2013

If you've ever felt fat, frustrated & disappointed with yourself, read on....

24th November 2013
Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do, even your mistakes.  Because even mistakes mean you’re trying. 

You lost all that weight, kept it off for a while then suddenly you wake up one morning and you realise you’ve put it all back on (maybe even more), and you feel so disappointed in yourself - NOW WHAT?  You’ve just proven diets don’t work haven’t you because you’ve regained your weight!

Erm nope, what you have proven is that weight loss doesn’t last if you don’t keep in place most of the changes you make to get that weight off in the first place.  Or maybe things have been going on in your life that have caused you to not be concerned enough about your eating habits and behaviour over the last ‘however long’ because everything else was far more important at that time. 

There is no magic to a diet, ultimately they all come down to eating few calories than you than your body needs to maintain its current weight OR increase the calories burned in physical activity and of course if you do a combination of the two you have a better chance of success.

Of course that paragraph sounds so simple doesn’t it!  And at times in your life, it actually is because you’re all fuelled up and motivated to get those pounds off, other time, whatever!  If only you could find that motivation you’d be a happy bunny, if you know why you couldn’t do it you’d not be in this position in the first place.  OH and god forbid someone says, “What can I do to help you?”  If you’re anything like me, your thinking at that moment in time, “mmm can I thump you really hard, that might make me feel better, it won’t help my weight loss but it’ll get rid of a bit of the frustration I’m feeling”

I hope you’re not thinking this blogs going to end with the solution to this problem because if I had that answer, I’d have shared it with the world for FREE a long time ago as I wouldn’t wish these feelings on anyone.  I can only share how I approached and still do approach these feelings because they are the pits.  I’ve never suffered depression and I’m very grateful of that because I know so many who have.  I have however suffered that down feeling you get when you feel stuck, trapped in a body covered in excess fat that you don’t want anymore but feeling that you are stuck and you can’t see a way out, you can’t see a solution, all you can see is an impossible task that you’ve done and failed before and it’s just so overwhelming you could cry.  Actually I remember crying because of that feeling many times in years gone by, one time I remember sitting on the cold tiled floor in my kitchen, crying and saying “why can’t I do this, what is wrong with me?  Why can I control and achieve everything else in my life I put my mind to but when it comes down to my weight, I just keep finding myself back in the kitchen looking for food – WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH ME!”  Oh that’s a really bad memory that takes me back to a time when I was so annoyed, angry and frustrated with myself and the more I felt that way the more difficult it got to lose weight.

Then one day, it probably wasn’t that I suddenly had an epiphany or anything like that, it was more a build up over days/weeks/months of reading and learning and trying to find out ‘what was wrong with me’, I realised getting angry and being disappointed in myself wasn’t working, nor was trying to lose my weight fast working and I decided to try something different.  I stayed with Weight Watchers because their system works really well when followed correctly and how it’s meant to be followed if you follow the healthy eating guidelines as well as the ProPoints allowance.  Instead of trying to lose all the weight overnight, I decided to do it slower, to enjoy the journey, to stop beating myself up for being hungry and not getting to my destination quick enough!  

If you cut right back to the bare minimum of food you need and don’t make that food good quality, then you’re going to get hungry and eventually you’re going to eat because as much as you want to lose weight, you’re brain/body in combination with each other is going to find a way to convince you to eat because they’re hungry!  So I realised I needed to eat good grub, not just healthy food but food that I also enjoyed the taste, sight and smell of, food I actually wanted to eat not that I was just eating to get a weight loss.  I needed to enjoy the journey of weight loss!

And to enjoy anything you have to feel good about yourself, berating yourself on a daily basis doesn’t help anyone progress anywhere!  I therefore also decided to take care of me, to love me and start to respect myself and treat myself in the same loving, caring way I treated those around me I loved and cared for.  When I looked in the mirror I’d smile at my reflection instead of scowling and criticising it, I’d also think nice things about me as I looked in those mirrors.

I had positive affirmations stuck all around my room, post it notes on my window, anything that made me realise I was a loving, good person that deserved to be treated as such not just by other people but by myself!

Suddenly I was taking care of me because I loved me and the weight loss became the side effect, rather than starving myself to lose weight and misery and hunger being my side effect.

I did lose my weight again and I do still have times where life gets in the way and my priorities change; however the good healthy changes I made to lose the weight the last time mostly stay in place because I love myself enough to want to take care of myself.  At the same time when I have a day, a week or however long of going off track, eating whatever, whenever for whatever reason, I don’t feel disappointed, annoyed, angry and frustrated with myself anymore, I give myself a break and support myself the way I would offer to support a friend who was having a tough time as I’ve realised that’s much more productive.

From a scientific point of view 3,500 calories = 1lb weight so if you cut 500 calories a day from your diet as it is now that’ll give you 1lb loss a week.  That means this time next year, you could be 4 stone lighter!  (The time will pass anyway) You could amend your eating so that you’re actually eating MORE food and get that calorie deficit!  That way your belly wouldn’t notice you were feeding it less, just supply that stomach with more Filling & Healthy foods and jobs a good un on the hunger front!  Now for the brain, mmm that’s not so easy to fool, so that’s why you’ve got 49 weeklies for that bright lump in your head, you’re going to satisfy your brain hunger with a bit of what you fancy, anyone who knows me knows that’ll be wine in my world, but everyone’s food brain is turned on by something different – so find yours.

Get the balance, give yourself a break, enjoy your food (EatGorgeous), look in the mirror and love yourself (BeYOUtiful) and realise as delicious as food is, there really is more to life than eating. Xx

Sorry it’s been a long blog, I just needed to get that out this morning because I have a friend who’s struggling and I need her to realise how amazing she is, how much she’s achieved in her life and how loved she is by so many.  Her weight may be an issue right now but it isn’t WHO she is, who she is - is a BeYOUtiful one off.

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