But if you never try, you'll never know...
YAY, it's Friday and I've had some sleep - woo hoo, I really struggle when I don't sleep, it wasn't uninterrupted sleep but I'll take anything I can get, "Are you awake Bev?" is not my favourite line at 4am at all but hey, at least I got till 4am from midnight lol.
Right now I'm focusing on the fact that every day may not be good but there is some good in every day. Yesterday wasn't the best day for a few reasons, of course my lovely mom being one, when she's not slept - it shows, when she eats too much junk food - it shows. Of course I was sleep deprived too, I have my own stuff going on as well, including the hormonal sweats which are waking me up just as often as mom is lol but I stopped and did my list of things that I was thankful for, it may have been a shorter list yesterday but there was still things to be thankful for including my sister, the fact Alzheimer's has strengthened our sisterhood. Then there's my V, I don't actually own her of course lol, but she's one of the most important people in my world and yesterday she came and sat with mom whilst I had to take a work call on the afternoon, these things mean so much.
I also got to do a couple of hours studying which I forgot to add to my list, I'm looking at coding at the minute so I can put together my own website and app without needing someone else to do it for me. I find it really interesting. I could if I was able to spend hours playing with it but mom doesn't like me not giving her attention and she starts to panic if I leave her alone, that's even just going up the garden to water the plants. I just can't believe a disease can do that to a woman who was the strongest person I knew as a child! Anyways, let's not think about that, let's focus on the day ahead.
As far as I know I've got the carer coming to sit with mom at 12, not sure who as her regular one is on holiday again, so we shall see how she reacts to someone new. Lynne's coming to see me, so hopefully we can maybe sneak up to my summer house and hide out there for a natter, we shall see how it all pans out lol. Take nothing for granted.
I'm gonna get some work done this morning ready for next weeks workshops, then I won't have to work tomorrow once my workshop is done and I can spend the day focused on mom.
You may have noticed I've not really been talking about food the last week or so and that hasn't been done on purpose, not initially anyway. It was more because I was focusing more on my mental health, on trying to feel better about my life.
I'm also trying to work on those tweaks, making tiny changes to my behaviours. This week that's included having a drink of water when I finish my yoga and mediation, picking up a piece of fruit when I put the kettle on to have that first cup of tea and in the afternoon focusing on the things I'm thankful for that day. I'm also trying to include natural yogurt in my 'diet', I don't dislike it, it's just a food I don't automatically choose to eat, yet I'm aware of how good for me it is. I've been enjoying it for breakfast with fruit, it was lush on my mango, I've also made dressings using cucumber and mint sauce is one of my favourites. I'm going to try and introduce those zero foods I know are good for me but I don't eat that often into my diet a little at a time, no rush, I'm working on myself and I'm in no rush.
Right I'm off, things to do, nowhere to be ;)
Mwah, luv ya, enjoy your Friday.
Love me x
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