Choices!

Saturday 11th July 2020

Notice how the everyday little things are the most beautiful.

Yep, MOM turned upside down is WOW, I need to remind myself of that when she's having a bad day!  We choose the lives we live, as difficult as it is to accept sometimes, I've been thinking about it the last few days because I'm in a situation that is really difficult to live with but I've chosen it.  No we didn't choose for mom to have Alzheimer's but I have chosen to take care of her, I always remind myself I have a choice, I could leave, there are different options, but I choose to stay because I love her even when she's being a vile human being and behaving in a despicable way. 

CHOICES!

It's not just me and my mom, it's everything isn't it, I choice to open a bottle of wine, I choose to eat the crisps or the cheese.   Therefore it's important to remember this; 

You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your choices.   Everything in our lives is a reflection of a choice we have made.  If we want a different result, we need to make a different choice.  

I'm going to start owning my choices, because whatever I'm not changing I'm choosing!  I need to decide if I'm happy with my choices, you might like to do the same.

Focusing on the good things too is something that really helps me, on Tuesday or was it Thursday, anyway it was one of those days because it was a virtual workshop when Lisa was supporting me and I said asked what question shall we start off the workshop to ensure every one knows how to use the chat and she said, 'what's something positive about your week' or words to that effect and when I started thinking about the good things that had happened, they started to outweigh the truly bad day I'd had with mom on Wednesday, ah so it was Thursday she said it lol.  Yeah good things this week that have made my week better include, 

seeing my bestie nearly every day as she's moving house soon and storing some bits at mine. 

chatting with my other bestie via messenger and knowing she's coming for a visit soon.

Seeing Lucy and her bringing me a Maccy D's.

Having visitors for mom and seeing her mood lift as people gave her attention and chatted.

Having a walk with Alfie yesterday, he actually wanted to walk, we were out an hour.

Mom enjoying the carer for almost the full 4 hours yesterday.

And so much more!  What you focus on becomes your reality, so I'm going to be putting my attention on the good moments and blocking out the bad.

Yesterday was a pretty good day, today's hopefully going to be too, got a workshop at 9.45 with Elle & Kate, members get 3 coaches for the price of one on a Saturday morning in the Wolverhampton Connect Group. 

I'm listening to mom tell Alfie 'it's a shit life', after she's moaned at him for sitting on her paper.  Now usually she's trying to get him to come to her and he won't so instead of her appreciating the love he's trying to give her, she's focusing on the fact she can't read her paper - which will still be there in half hour when he wanders off again!  You get what  you focus on so focus on what you want!  If only I could have this conversation with her, but I can't because she would just get angry with me, Alzheimer's is stealing her joy and leaving her with nothing but darkness.  She can't help it - we can, let's focus on the good stuff. 

Remember whatever you're not changing you're choosing.  

Have a great day, I'll see some of you in a little while.

Mwah, luv ya 

Love me xx