Unhappy?

19^th October 2018

The earlier you start working on something, you earlier you’ll start seeing results.

I’ve talked to a lot of unhappy people this week, work problems, life issues, people disputes, you name it, I think I’ve heard about the situation over the last few days, or they’re just feeling low for no particular reason, is it an October thing!  A time of the year problem, I’m not sure but I do know no one actually wants to feel that way.  What can we do to get us out of that hole when it feels like everything is going wrong?

Today’s coaching question is; “When you have faced challenges in the past how have you overcome them?”

Let’s be honest we all have times when it feels like there’s one problem after another, every time you get up something knocks you back down again and stops you from getting your act together.   What can we do to help?  What’s worked before? What will make us come out the other side, better and stronger?

I think firstly, what I do is remind myself, this situation will end, everything is temporary – even this!   This stops me from panicking or looking too far into the future, I don’t need to think about what might happen, let’s stay in the now.

If we focus on the things that are going right, even the smallest thing, this will help, being happy is all about how we approach life, not what’s actually happening to us.  I need to remember this more at the moment.  Let’s think about the people who are there for us, and the things we care about most.  This will help us way more than blaming and lashing out at everyone and everything or pressing that self-destruct buttons.  I know it’s easy to write but let’s not neglect our needs, we can change some situations but we can choose how to react to them!  It’s pointless trying to control what’s out of our control, it’s also a waste of energy to worry, complain or get angry, although sometimes it does make us feel a little better for a short time.

Go back to the coaching question today, you’ve overcome crap before, you’re resilient, remind yourself of those times and realise you’ve got this situation too. 

I know I get a little low when the weather changes and just acknowledging that and accepting it makes it easier for me to handle.  When I’m feeling low, I remind myself I didn’t feel this way the day or week before and that makes it easier to handle because I know I’ll come out of it.  I’ve been telling myself I’ve not been well so I’m bound to feel a bit rundown and not be 100% positive with the world around me.

Oh and lose the “why me!”, why anyone? 

I’m smiling inside now because I’ve just had to stop there for a 5 minute coughing fit, I’ve coughed so much I’ve made myself sick and my eyes water, but on a positive it’s tightening up those stomach muscles.  How lucky am I that I will get better!  The cough is a sign I’m coming out the other end because it’s getting all the bad stuff out of me.

The one thing you shouldn’t do when everything feels like it’s going wrong is isolate yourself, there’s strength in numbers, relief in talking to others, let’s share it all, why should you be miserable alone ;)

This is why I’m going to get up, get dressed and get stuff done today.  I can’t change my situation, actually you know what, I can, there’s no law saying I have to stay here and care for my mom, the truth is I don’t want to change my situation, yeah I wished she didn’t have Alzheimer’s but she does, if someone has to have it, rather it be someone like mom who’s loved and cared for than someone who has no one.  What I am going to do is eventually get over this lurgy, use this weekend to chill again and spend time with mom, we’ll find something on tv to watch that she can spoil for me by moaning all the way through it, or we can watch it at volume 97 I think we’re up to now, I’m sure if I was in a factory that loud I’d have ear protectors on, but she’s not deaf, it’s because they don’t talk properly and they whisper!  I will attempt to eat within my points allowance, I’ve got maintenance sussed, it’s just at the wrong weight.  I’m going to finish the Mr to match my Mrs blanket, that should be done by today, then I need to decide what next, I’ve got a half done grey blanket I could finish, or some gorgeous pale rose coloured wool I want to use, need a colour to match it with though, or do I, maybe I just do that colour as a solid - see I’m processing my thought’s as I type here, another really good thing to do when your head is so full of stuff you can’t think straight.  Get a piece of paper and write it all down, get it out of your head onto paper, it doesn’t have to make sense, you don’t have to read it back, burn it so no one else reads it.  It works – trust me.

Right I’m off, I’m going to take all the food to the food bank this morning and they’re going to show me how it all works, we have also collected about £250 in the meetings (still a few quid in a tub I need to count), there’s £40 online and I’m donating my £250 you’ve been framed money.  That’s something really positive we’ve all been part of.  Yeah things could be worse – we could be hungry.

Let’s focus on the positives today and do our best to find a few smile moments BeYOUtiful.