Nothing's impossible! YEAH IT IS!

8^th January 2013

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.Carl Bard

A real mixed day yesterday, woke up at 2am by stomach cramps and pain (the joy of being a woman), then had the hormonal mood swings till about 2pm when I exploded and went for a walk.  I’ve learned to spot the mood for what it is so keep saying to myself just go with it, be a cranky, moody cow for a few hours or however long it’s going to talk then you’ll be okay again.  I remind myself I didn’t feel this way yesterday so there’s obviously nothing actually causing it other than my own mind for whatever reason and eventually it goes away.  Yesterday’s solution was a long dog walk, 90 minutes we were out and whilst walking and thinking and looking around, I slowly relaxed and put some context back into all the thoughts that were rushing through my head.  I noticed a tree trunk that looked like a face which made me smile, then a robin and a jay and then Alfie dragged me across a field that was boggy and we both ended up covered in mud but instead of moaning and shouting like I’d felt like doing an hour earlier, I started laughing at the fact, Alfie looked really cute with his muddy paws going all the way up to the top of this legs and I suddenly felt really alive feeling my cold wet feet at the other end of my body from this busy mind.

Positive thinking is great but sometimes it’s difficult to stay positive, rather than pessimism or optimism, I’ll opt for realism because realistic thinking is better.  Don’t get me wrong I like all the self help, positive thinking stuff but sometimes I think people expect too much from it, just thinking positive doesn’t change everything – you actually have to do things too!

The saying, “Nothing’s Impossible” isn’t really true is it and if you decide to believe that theory you’re going to end up super disappointed eventually!  You’re never going to be look like the images in the magazines or the girls on the catwalk (actually, personally I don’t want to!) is it impossible, mmm that’s dependant on a number of things but reality is, even if you had the body type to get there, it’s really hard work and you may not the time to put in. 

What’s much more important is an acceptance of yourself then a plan to make realistic changes that will make a difference to your life.  For me it involved simplifying my life more, to help me deal with everything.  I like simple, I don’t like an over dramatic, complicated, too full life, it’s just not me and it stresses me out when my life is too full.

One thing I have learnt is “Shit Happens”, all the positive thinking in the world does not stop it from happening, it’s how you handle it when it arrives that’s important.  I don’t know anyone that’s happy all the time, it’s virtually impossible, and the effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable and it is our constant efforts to eliminate the negative that is what causes us to feel unhappy.  Yes by accepting that life isn’t rosy, you get a touch of realism, by approaching your problems with a splash or realism you are more likely to survive and come out smiling.

I was reading a novel the other day and smiled at this;

“I often wonder if I don’t suffer from that SAD syndrome, thought everyone I know wonders that, and if everyone has the same syndrome, isn’t that just called normal life?”

Brilliant!  We try to give everything a label don’t we, with or without the label though, it’s all part of life and a lot of people like to say, “Life's not fair” but guess what, life’s not far for anyone which ultimately makes it fair!

So is your life good or is your life bad?  Well in the words of Shakespeare; “There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

I’m waffling I know, but I think what I’m trying to say is the mood I woke up in yesterday, I could’ve wallowed in for days, I could have taken it from feeling a little blue (possibly because of my hormones, or because its January and it’s dull, post holiday blues maybe) and really dwelled on it, decided I had SAD or that I was suffering from a mild case of depression.  Instead I acknowledged it, I had a conversation with myself (yeah I’m still doing that, at least I’m doing it silently!) I reminded myself this wasn’t the first time I’d work up a grumpy cow now is it likely to be the last, I noted the grim weather, the time of year, the fact I’d just come back from a lovely holiday.  I thought about if there was anything in my life at the moment really causing me to be unhappy and if there was, was there anything I could do to rectify that situation.  I even went as deep as to think, “What’s this all about, life, why are we here and what is the meaning of it all.” (oh yeah I can get really deep and all this happened in a few hours which is even more bizarre – it’s almost like speed personal therapy!)  Next I thought about what I enjoyed about my life, what I enjoy doing, am I where I want to be, is there anything I want to do.  Then I saw the tree trunk with the smiley face on it and I smiled, I realised we’re all just passing through for a very short time, the universe is vast and endless and special and I’m lucky enough to be spending some time on it.  No one knows if there’s anything after this life and ultimately we have very little control over our lives.  We can influence what happens to us, for example by eating well we may deter ill health or prolong out lives but in the end the universe decides when it’s our time.  Financially we can have a job and pay our bills but we can’t control our job security, we can merely influence it.  In other words I’ve stopped worrying about ‘what ifs’ I shall take each day as it comes and deal with it the best I can.  Hopefully most days I’ll do that with a smile on my face, although I know there will be days when I’ll scowl ;-). Not today though, today I feel good.

Right, I’ve rambled on enough, I’m not sure it made any sense at all, after all it is 5am, it made sense in my head.

Here’s to a fab day, take care of you – you’re worth it. xx