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Disclaimer
Beverley has prepared the content of Bev's World irresponsibly and carelessly. She therefore disclaims all warranties, express or implied, as to the accuracy, originality or completeness of the drivel presented on this blog or on other linked websites or on any subsequent links. She vehemently denies that the information may be relied upon for any reason. Beverley shall not be liable for inflicting laughter, shame, disgust, torrents of tears and the eventual desiccation or crashing boredom on readers.

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Friday, 25 January 2013

Everyones got an opinion - this is mine!

25th January 2013
People are like oceans, some parts are visible BUT most you can’t see, shallow pools of truth and deep pools of dark mysteries.
Mmm diets don’t they cause a lot of feeling, everyone has opinion on what works, what doesn’t, which is best, whether its worth the money, what the word diet actually means, how a diet works. 
Yes they really do cause controversy, I read lots about them and discuss the subject even more with other people (obviously in my line of work) somewhere yesterday I read that diets apparently teach you to feel guilty if you don’t stick to the rules!  NO they don’t ONLY YOU can make yourself feel guilty!  This person spoke of the ‘perfect dieter’, well in my opinion PERFECT is over-rated and what the definition would be of a perfect dieter is beyond me but I’m guessing it would differ from my thoughts.   
Weight loss is a very emotive subject isn’t it and everyone who wants to lose weight has their own reasons and no one has the right to judge them for those reasons, I have gone through the last two years not really caring about what I weigh, my weight has maintained more or less at a specific number and I’ve been okay with that.  It has however risen a little of the last few months thanks to various things and Christmas and now I’m watching what I eat/drink a little more because I would like to lose that weight for a number of reasons, one being I feel like I’ve become stagnant in my life – vicious cycle for me, I’m bored – I eat – I gain weight – I become inactive – I’m bored – I eat, etc, etc.
I’m not guilt tripping myself, or feeling bad about my body; my actions or my life and I encourage my members not to feel bad or guilty too!  We are human; we don’t always do what we planned to do because our emotions and our subconscious guide us in a different direction.  That doesn’t make us any less of a success, for me success consists of loving what is and taking care of that – you have to love yourself and your body because you can’t take care of something that you hate!
You can however want to feed that body good healthy food and nourish and cherish it.  Does that mean you shouldn’t eat the doughnut that’s passed round the office, does it heck, you enjoy it and eat is really slowly but make sure you catch that bit of jam that oozes out before it lands on your nice crisp white blouse ;-).   You are allowed to get pleasure from food, you are allowed to enjoy life and feel like a normal (whatever that is) human being!   I find good healthy food delicious when I can be bothered to make the effort and cook it!
But for me, I’d be happy with one doughnut, I wouldn’t want to indulge every day, and trust me when I worked in an office they came round everyday!  Why not?  Because I also enjoy walking the dog and getting in the clothes in my wardrobe in the morning and if I eat too much I gain weight, if I gain weight my back hurts and my clothes don’t fit – it’s a very simple equation!  I then end up unhappy – not because I’M OVERWEIGHT but because I’M IN PAIN and I CAN’T GET AROUND!  It’s not the fat that’s making me sad, it’s the fact I can’t live the life I enjoy living.  If you’re overweight and it doesn’t affect you, brilliant – carry on with your life if you’re happy but let me do something about mine.
For some lucky b******ds (I swear in real life but never quite like to type it on my blog) out there this eating/enjoying balance comes naturally, they partake in a bit of what they fancy, then at other times they forgo the excess.  And as just mentioned for some other lucky b******ds being overweight isn’t an issue, it doesn’t seem to affect their health or life in anyway.  I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE LUCKY FOLK!  I’m a different kind of LUCKY, I love excess, I enjoy extreme, I’m a glutton of life – my natural disposition is “I want it all and I want it NOW!”  I have however realised over the years that having that kind of personality leads to me not being in a good place!  In the past it has given me health problems from overeating, it has given me financial problems from overspending, and it’s also almost lost me my life a few times from falling off the edge of cliffs and hills and hitting trees after falling off my bike whilst looking for the thrill of life (& trying to keep up with a handsome marine with a nice bum on the bike in front)!  Luckily I never dabbled in drugs or who knows what may have happened there!  I’m an extreme person who’s spent the last 15 years trying to work out why and what I can do to calm that personality a little to help me live a happier less dangerous life and I think I’ve managed to.  I’m SO lucky to have realised this because I know others with a little more extreme version of my personality traits and it’s led them to a really, really dark place and even death! (overdose, alcoholism, heart attacks, strokes, accidents!)
So how did I get to where I am now, lots of things got me here, I read lots, I did workshops, I joined slimming clubs, I listened to others, I LEARNED!
Weight Watchers taught me lots from the nutritional value of food to how I could get a happy balance, their cook books even helped teach me to cook, along with Nigella and Jamie and a whole host of other cook books!  It gave me a system to help me gain control of my intake, I am quite a mathematical person so I liked the numbers and the fact it’s a bit like a bank account.  It also gave me friendship, some of the best people I know I met through Weight Watchers, and I now see a lot of them as my extended family.  And of course not forgetting it gave me a purpose, I was going to say job then but I already had one of those, I can and have earned a much larger salary elsewhere but I’ve never been so satisfied and fulfilled in my work as I am now at Weight Watchers.
I learned spending doesn’t make you happy for longer than the few moments you’re spending it – again that came from lots of different places, thank you to the MoneySavingExpert, and to my mom who was hard up when we were kids for reminding me we can live on a pittance and be happy.
I learned that doing, doing, doing, going here, doing this, going there, exploring, visiting, seeing doesn’t make you any happier than sitting round a table chatting with friends.  A man (can’t remember his name) on a weekend workshop said to me, “It’s no good keep climbing those mountains Bev, if you never stop to enjoy the view”, and he was so right, I now often sit and look through my photo albums and reminisce.
I learned that following your dreams and believing in yourself and your capabilities is possible – thank you Roy Martin for making me cry and helping me take that terrifying step from security into ‘who knows’ territory  back in July 2004, it paid of big style.
I learned that guilt sucks and is the most wasted emotion out there, so I binned it!  Who taught me that, oh so many people, big shout out here to Byron Katie and Louise Hay, truly inspirational women who have written great books.
I’ve learned that everyone thinks they’re the expert and they have the answer – actually they don’t! I’m the only expert in me and you’re the only expert in you, so these days when someone tells me or advises me on what I should be doing, I smile, say thanks and sieve that information, if there’s a gem of knowledge in there that works for me I take it, if it’s something that I’m not feeling or agreeing with – I bin it.  I suggest you do the same (but of course you’re more than welcome to disagree!)
I hope you got something from reading this because I got a whole lot from writing it, so with a happy tear in my eye, I’m off to make a cuppa and give my mom a hug because never forget she’s the reason I’m here at all.
Happy days all. xx
 
 
 

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