Like the seasons we do not need to justify change.
4.44am was when mom finally got me to get up this morning, I resisted the 1am call, just settling her back so I could go back to bed, she's asleep again now lol, but at least I've slept some, I even had a cheeky hour yesterday afternoon because I was shattered!
Yesterday morning, I decided it was time to get my act together and start on my self care, get me losing weight, get going with my new job etc. I soon realised I was expecting too much too soon, I've just gone through an extremely stressful time, I need to stop and pause, not for too long, just a couple of days to get myself calmed. It didn't help that I was as tired as I was yesterday either, but I need to remind myself I've left WW so I can slow down a little, work when I can and take some time for me.
I did weigh myself and take some photos to motivate me though and they have, I wasn't golden yesterday but I was better, instead of the huge breakfasts I've been having, I had a mushroom omelette with 30g cheese, I think it was reduced fat but I didn't have the label so not sure, I know the other block I have isn't but it'll have more taste so I can use less.
I'd been bought a tub of chocolates as a leaving gift, so I had a handful of those later in the day when I was tired, the good thing about that is, they've almost gone but also they've made me realise we don't need tins of chocolate at Christmas because I'm not a massive fan of chocolate, I'd rather have cheese and crackers and mom prefers biscuits, so they'll be coming off the christmas shop, savings me both £'s and lbs!
I fancied a winner, winner chicken dinner so that's what I made, it's pretty healthy to be fair, lots of veggies, only sprayed a little oil on the parsnips, home made yorkies out the freezer and that Idaho packet mash which is delicious and so convenient. Hands up guilty of eating the chicken skin though, thankfully I buy the smallest chicken in the Sainsbury's 1.3kg for £2.80, Alfie loves chicken day as does the cat that's not my cat because they both do rather well out of it!
I also had a couple of big glasses of wine, so although it wasn't perfect, it wasn't horrendous either! Also Alfie and I had a pretty decent walk bless him, he was once again in the mood, he's also fast asleep upstairs still - lucky lad.
I definitely need to get some kind of routine but at the same time I need to not force anything and be flexible in my approach because of mom, so what I think I'll do instead is have a 'to get done' list so make a list of all the things I need to get done each day, week, month and just mark them off as I do them, so if one day, I'm too tired and it's all too much, I can do it the next day.
My back was hurting yesterday, which for me is a sure sign I'm internally stressing about my financial security, it always happens when I start thinking about the future and how I'm going to pay my bills! I had to give myself a good talking too, it'll all be okay and if it isn't, we'll deal with it then, because worrying now what help at all!
I'm gonna be on zoom at 9, if anyone wants to come and have a chat, just my personal one, no topic, just general how's everyone doing, this is my code 922 191 1689.
If you want an official online coach, Kate's your girl! She's lovely and if she'd have been doing phsyical workshops, I'd have considered going to her for sure.
I was actually asked yesterday this question yesterday, "Do you think you’ll join a meeting as a member when its all normal again Bev? Xx" Honest answer, right at this very minute, with how my head is, I don't know, as much as I love the idea of seeing all my members again, sitting in a room with them where someone else is being their coach, mmm, I don't know if I could do that, let alone want to! I don't think the coach would feel very comfortable either!
I've asked myself a question this morning that I was reminded by Nicola that I used to ask her (and probably a lot of you) "What one thing can you do on this coming week that will help you?" I'm going to start asking myself the same question every day, today, I can have a bubble and squeak for breakfast and then another cooked dinner later in the day so that's healthy, then I need to get some water down me neck instead of wine. I've made sure this weeks shop is a good one too, not full of rubbish, although their is wine in there because it's still on offer so I'm stocking up, won't need to buy any for months now.
My mates on the phone for a chat so I'm gonna get off, here's to a calm, slow Sunday.
Mwah, luv ya
Love me
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