Two men looked out from the prison bars, One saw mud, the other saw stars.
I could start this blog by once again talking about how little sleep I've had, but the truth is how much sleep I've had isn't important, the turmoil my mom is experiencing, the fear and confusion she's going through is what matters. She was really confused last night, woke up not knowing where she was, wanting to 'go home', asking where my sister was and this ws before midnight. I tried to settle and calm her but half hour later I could hear her trying to open the front door so I came down again, she was in such a state, I stayed and comforted her, she told me she loved me as we put our foreheads together and had a cuddle. I thought I'd settled her again but it wasn't happening, she was calling the police to come and save her and the 'little boy' upstais, and by 1am, I decided it would be easier to stay with her, so I made her a cup of tea and sat with her, she eventually started to snooze but I knew if she woke and I wasn't there she'd panic again so I lay and snoozzed on the settee that looks big enough for me, but isn't lol. It's 6am now and she's asleep still. Twitching and flinching, making noises, talking and shouting in her sleep, she doesn't even get any respite when she's asleep. Okay so I haven't had much sleep, but I'm not in distress, I'm not going through the hell she is and if I can be here when she wakes to calm her a little, then a crap nights sleeps worth it.
The Hospital Window: A Short Story (unknown author)
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band — he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you and make you smile.”
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Making other happy, despite your own situation can bring incredible satisfaction, shared grief is half the sorry, but when happiness is shared, it's doubled. If you want to feel rich, could all the things you have that money can't buy and remember today is a gift, that is why it's called the Present.
Today, pay attention to all that you have, go out of your way to make someone smile, realise that nothing if permanent. Mom has an awful day yesterday from the moment she woke, she didn't know who I was, I had to call my sister round to reassure her, but later in the day we had a few glimmers of light. I had to laugh when I did a call for Utility Warehouse to quote for a customer, I said something like, so your electricity usage is, followed by the figures and mom sat next to me piped up, and your gas usage..... she's obviously sat listening to me say these words so many times and something in there still works because she said the next time! I won't stop trying to communicate with my old mom that's trapped in that dementia hell!
Stay positive, focus on your goals, love your tribe hard and get stuff done! It's Thanksgiving in America today and for many Thanksgiving is a day to spend time with family and friends. Thanksgiving Day is a celebration of the harvest, and a time to give thanks for blessings over the past year. Now I know it would be easy to say, humph not a lot to be thankful for in 2020, but that's not true, we're surviving the worst pandemic, so look a little harder to find the things you're thankful for!
9 years ago I was in New York with my besties, we'd done the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade which was something I'd wanted to do for years and had the most incredible holiday, I'm thankful that I got to do that. Okay so this year, it'll be a chicken dinner and I'll try and find the parade on the tv, I'm working most of today until 7 anyway!
Here's to a good day xx
Mwah, luv ya
Love me xx
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