In the rush to return to normal, consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to....
The one thing I'm hearing a lot when I'm checking in and chatting with my members and catching up with them is how much they are missing their loved ones, face timing is great but it's not like the real thing is it, I completely understand that, I've tried to chat to my besties on the phone and stay in touch via messenger since I become mom's carer but it's not the same as actually being in the same room, that night out we had in February was just the best medicine. We all need to remember how we're feeling right now when those same loved ones are back in our physical lives and they're being nightmares!
When I heard that quote at the top of the page this morning it put into words, how I've been thinking this last week or two, I've been considering my life, my normal life that is pre lockdown, and like it says, I'm using this time to decide what parts of it, I want to return to! Maybe we should all do this, if you're always crazy busy and like this more slowed down pace, how could you include more of that, if you're always out socialising but realised you actually enjoy staying home, make sure you continue to do that. I'm actually as busy as I was before, I'm just working from home instead of going out. If normally you'd be spending more money on stuff but have either cut back or there's nothing to spend it on, could you live on less so work less? I'm still not getting to those jobs I want to get done, but is it because I haven't got time or that I actually don't really want to do them, or that it unsettles mom when I'm out of the room more than usual. Oh, I don't know but it's giving me plenty to think about.
The Virtual's went well yesterday, it's great to catch up with some regular faces and to get to meet some social media friends face to face (Hello Sheena, it was lovely to see you last night). We had a mom moment five minutes before the end of last nights virtual though, she's been much better with me at home but last night, something must have triggered her (with dementia there's no rhyme or reason to any of it) and she called my sister! How is my sister supposed to explain to my mom she can't come round because of the lockdown, mom was saying I was upstairs with people in my room (she could obviously hear everyone talking on the computer) and slammed the phone down on my sister, who rushed round because she was worried mom would try to leave the house. What choice did she have! My sister tried to keep her distance but of course that caused more problems. Well by the time I got downstairs, there was a little war going on and mom had gone full on F-YOU mode! It took me a good hour to calm her down and she was pretty vile. It was only an hour out of a 24 hour day though, I used some of the tactics advised in the Virtual Workshop just an hour before, so thank you to everyone for your suggestions, deep breathing does help, it really does!
I'd looked forward to my tea since I'd managed to get an online delivery at the weekend so had planned on having it last night, in hindsight, I should've waited but I did the typical stress response, I cooked it and emotionally ate whilst mom was fuming and cursing next to me, Alfie was jumping up me, and I was trying to calm them both, whilst ignoring how she was talking to me, so it took some of the enjoyment away from it, but not all, it was bloody delicious, 22SP in the crispy sweet & sour chicken and 5SP in the noodles, I just boiled a nest of noodles, roasted the mushrooms in the oven whilst cooking the chicken and mixed them together with a bit of soy sauce, could be my new favourite fast food those noodles, 2 nests of them compared to a pot noodle is a bargain!
If you think how many points is in a Chinese Takeaway, this is a bargain treat meal.
I'm trying not to waste food and the crumpets were out of date so I soaked them in egg and dry fried, enjoyed them with a can of WW spaghetti and I really did enjoy this meal, it was delicious.
Today's another day, I'm going to suggest mom talks to my sister on the phone when I go for my virtual workshop, but I have a feeling she'll say NO! Do we risk my sister coming round? It's all very well this lockdown thing but if I was having to go out to work, if I was a shop worker or a nurse, I'd be risking bringing back germs, my sister doesn't go out to work but her husband and son does. What a nightmare for everyone trying to do the right thing and take care of their loved ones, I've got members with elderly parents and they're trying to explain that they can't come in! I truly feel for other carers out there, it's such a difficult situation!
Let's finish with positives shall we,
erm.....
Give me a moment and I'll get my happy head back on lol....
Seriously though, it's tough right now, it's ok to feel out of sorts, to have worries and concerns, everything's up in the air, but try to pick a few positives out from your day so for me yesterday;
I ate proper meals and they were delicious.
I had a photo pop up in my memories of my magnolia bush from last year or the year before and I compared it to know, it's got so many more flowers on it.
I'm listening to a really enjoyable audio book.
My neighbour loved the baby blankets I made.
I caught up and checked in with lots of my members via Facebook and texts
I just heard and sang along to a bit of Bob Marley on Vanessa's Radio 2 show
I'm sure if I carried on thinking, I'd come up with more but instead I'm going to go and clean the kitchen, apparently I have to do that again!
I'm going to try and not emotionally eat today, I hadn't done that up until yesterday but let's just say there was chocolate in the fridge, there isn't now!
Focus on the good stuff, make sure you use this time to assess your life and what works and what needs changing.
luv ya, mwah,
Love me xx
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