Self preservation

25^th July 2018

Your life isn’t yours if you constantly care what others think.

I had me a lie in this morning, then Alfie wanted to go straight out but I made him wait for me to drink my cuppa, I did think whilst walking that people would be waiting for my blog and as I thought I decided that today I needed to walk without distraction more than I needed to concern myself with what other people wanted!  See this year I’ve been doing that more, it’s called self-preservation, I’ve got a lot going on in my world and I need as little stress as possible to be able to do it to the best of my ability.  I’m trying to make ‘work’ exactly that, as much as I love it, there needs to be times when I don’t work, when I distance myself from it all.  I reminded myself why I started my blog in the first place, it was for me, it’s great that others read it and get something from it sometimes but my reason for starting it was that I enjoyed emptying my mind of thoughts, I’d blogged previously before I started this one on blogger, this is my first blog back then, http://wwbevsworld.blogspot.com/2010/06/monday-morning.html I’d not long had Alfie and 8 years on, not much has changed I guess oh apart from my weight, there’s about a stone difference apparently and moms Dementia/Alzheimer’s.

Yeah my life changes daily, Monday with mom was fantastic, we had such a lovely day, then yesterday I got home to a completely different version of her, a not very nice one and it made for a very difficult afternoon – another reason I have to compartmentalise work more, as yesterday afternoon I needed to give her 100% attention to try and turn the mood around or I would’ve been stuck with it for the rest of the day.  It took me a good few hours but I managed it and when I got back on the night she was still okay thankfully.

A decent meal almost didn’t happen because I can’t cook and give someone undivided attention, but I managed to fry some onions, then add a 250g pack of beef mince and a couple of oxo cubes for flavour.  I topped a third of the mixture with half a packet of mash and topped with a bit of cheese, that was my delicious tea with some asparagus that said use by 17^th June, it was fine.  I’d nipped to Sainsbury’s to get mom a new nightie and bought a ham hock after talk of gammon in my meeting, Alfie ate all the fatty parts and I had a bit of it with the rest of the mash and some peas for my lunch, so I managed two good meals, breakfast had been an egg toastie.  

Out of curiosity I’ve just opened up my blogs on this day in previous years it shows things have changed, in 2010 mom and I played the ‘left or right’ driving game and ended up at Buildwas Abbey, followed by Wenlock Priory, I remember that day.  In 2014 I was talking about my most read blogs and doing a car boot with Elle to promote WW, my most read blogs have now changed http://wwbevsworld.blogspot.com/2015/12/yes-you-can-still-smart-point-your.html is the most read, almost 20,000 times, not bad to say my first blog was read by a dozen people.  This is another popular one http://wwbevsworld.blogspot.com/2015/12/maybe-you-fancy-smart-point-chippy.html we obviously like a takeaway! 2012 was all about success in my meetings and my mom was ill and I was trying to sort prescriptions out and I was working 60 hour weeks!  Thankfully that’s changed, sadly mom being ill hasn’t, in 2016 she was halfway through her no solids diet after having a fall and breaking her jaw, that’s when it all really started to go downhill!  Last year I’d bought my cooker, was thinking about the French windows I know have and talking about the health benefits of celery, yeah eating that by the stick didn’t last!

Life changes doesn’t it, but I’m happy with mine, I’m adapting it as best as I can to cope with moms disease (because it is a disease), I’m embracing the good days and surviving the bad, I’m a big believer in what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, I’m going to end up a bloody iron man by the end of this!

I’ve just bought some fresh tagliatelli this morning, it was reduced from £2.40 to 70p, had to be done.  I’m thinking using cooked chicken breast and the leftover ham maybe and a creamy sauce.

Good job I waited to do my blog and sorted my shed first as my stock delivery has just been and I’ve had to find space for it all.  New magazine too, gonna have me an hour in garden reading this now before it gets too hot, there’s a 15 minute meals article (because your time is precious) I fancy that, oh and cheap eats, that’ll help.

Anyway, I have a dog looking at me after food, so I’m off to sort him now, here’s to prioritizing yourselves, realising its not selfish, its self-care, you matter as much as everyone else on this planet – remember that!

Have a wonderful life and a very great day BeYOUtiful.