Good morning Tuesday

Tuesday 21st January 2020
You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy or fake.

Of course I didn't wake up the day after I turned 50 and my life became easy and my eating and drinking habits had changed overnight, but my attitude was improved, my mood too, it'll take some work to keep it there but I'm willing to do that.  It's never going to be easy watching mom and Alfie being devoured by the disease.  Bless him, he walked my legs off yesterday so at least I'm getting my exercise, even if it's not very quick and we don't get very far.

As well as a wicked birthday gift from my bestie, my Pause box https://pauseformind.org.uk arrived from Mind yesterday too, that was a bit of nice through the post, it was also really apt as it confirmed some of the thoughts I'd been having -  this months little card inside the box said; 

Sometimes we can find ourselves caught up in the day-to-day, forgetting to make a bit of time for what really motivates or inspires us. 

Try writing down the things that you want to focus on more in your life, or a list of the things you'd like to do more of.  It might be getting more fresh air, taking up a new hobby or trying new recipes.  It's prove that writing things down means you're more likely to achieve them, and the structure of a list can help us feel more relaxed. 

The theme of the box this year is drawing, there's some exercises in the box that I will have a go at, it's a cute little box each month and a reminder to me that I need to take time out in one way or another.  

My list of things that I'd like to focus on more in my life include, my friends, cooking new recipes, listening to my audiobooks, that's plenty to get me started.  I've also loved taking photos, so try to maybe get to places where that's worth doing, although you can find beauty everywhere.   

Today's meal is going to use up the gnocchi I have left in the fridge I think, I'll have it with butternut squash, use up some of the chorizo or salami, maybe a bit of blue cheese, not low in points but healthy and delicious overall.  I don't expect to change overnight and I'm okay with that, I won't wake up 2 stone lighter in the morning, I just want to wake up feeling more positive every day and able to handle life as it is.  I'm not going to lie, the last year, I've thought it won't be forever, she's 81, but the truth is, she could live for a long time still so I need to live too and not just exist.  That may read bad but unless you've lived a similar situation you just can't understand, even she wishes she weren't here some days. 

I'm looking forward to a day with members at Short Heath, busy day ahead, I'll make time to cook dinner though, I've managed to get enough sleep despite Alfie and mom trying to stop me, I ended up putting Alfie on my bed, he was stood on the landing whining which was setting mom off, she then spend half hour stomping to and from the bathroom - yay, what better way to spend 2am lol. 

I'm already looking forward to messing about in the kitchen later, not decided if I'm going to roast the squash or make a sauce from it.  I've just remembered a recipe I found on the WW app, it sounded delicious, I was looking for a way to use up the delicious salami I have in my fridge leftover from my birthday weekend. Roasted butternut squash and salami rigatoni, oh so much niceness on one plate, all I do know is the ingredients, squash, salami, chorizo, blue cheese all compliment each other beautifully, sage, thyme or rosemary all add flavour to squash too and you can make a sauce in a food processor from the squash which would be delicious on a bowl of gnocchi, mmm.

I need to stop thinking food and start thinking washing and dressing, so I'll say turrah.  Remember it's going to be a great day, mwah, 

Luv ya


Love me